dying to share.

4) I'm an old lady who has known a great many problems, most of which never happened.

6) She glared around the whole scene of the place: dead and dreary, while falling leaves tried to cover the darkness, thy gave up and only followed the winds. It cetainly matches my mood.

15) Yesterday could have been the day before yesterday, or vice versa. I'd sometimes wonder what kind of life this was. Which is not to say that I found it empty. I was, very simply amazed, at the lack of demarcation between the days. At the fact that i was part of such a life, a life that had swallowed me up so completely. At the fact that my footprints were being blown away before i even had a chance to turn and look at them.

16) Time was just a meaningless number with no attachment to events.

44) Being indecisive. Look backward and forward and you'll realise the one place you don't want to be is in the present. You need a chance and you're running out of time.

45) There's something about me that pushes people away. Something that makes them look away.

~NOT the end~

today is the 13th.. meaning i have 17 days more to the end of my attachment. minus the 3 OFF days and 4 annual leave, i have 10 days more. ONLY 10 days more to go.

frankly speaking, i seriously need to get a life besides counting down to the end of my SIP.

---------------------------------

partner with andy and fay at station 3 today. basically, i did minimal tasks since it's my 1st time doing 'outside' job for the full shift. did lobster bisque for table 21 today. 1st time doing the soup. the guests were so amazed that they clapped. i think i'm getting the hang of flaming the pan so much so that i have this feeling of not letting the flame die out. lolx. okie dorkie. back to what i really want to say...

--------------------------------

5 more days. or izzit 4 more? i'm so NOT looking forward to whatever's coming. what do pple usually do on their birthdays? eat? eat and eat? or maybe i should sleep, sleep and sleep.

the last time i felt this empty was a few years ago. last year was the cruise trip. this year? nth.

i have so much to share.. but all in chinese. for the past week, i've already read like 8-10 chinese books. more to go. this is the best time for me to polish my language skills, mother tongue especially..

-------------------------------

pple asked if i'm from CHINA, again. when i said no, they asked if i'm from vietnam. no again. thai. no again. they got this amazed look on their faces. "you mean u're a LOCAL?" i felt like rolling my eyes in front of them and saying 'ar then?

Veuve Clicquot champagne brunch is on every Sunday, for $105+++ per pax.

So the media is invited, the marcomm pple, and SOME guests.. meaning, paying guests amount to less than 10. i 'pop' so many champagne.. that i felt kiddishly happy.. the kind of yeah-i-have-a-new-candy-feeling.. the amt of champagne pple drink.. by the end of 2 and ahlaf hours, i counted 17 empty champagne bottles in the kitchen, and more to come.. so i estimated it's abt 20 bottles..

FINALLY, 1st day out at the station. together with our dear Ahmad. 1st day working with him and i'm going *pengz. i dunno whether there's sth wrong with me or him.. he got to repeat, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat.. so much so that i felt as if i was listening to a tape that is jammed...

this table of 4, was nice and polite. they courteously ask for help when they need, thanked us for the food and everything, and even left a $10 tip. but i didnt get it.. another table told us they had a wonderful time and the food was delicious.. so much so for a happy day huh..

the best is yet to come..

i did flambé today!!! twice!!! pepper steak!!! haha.. 1st time round someone got to help me flame the frying pan.. second time round i need NO help.. and was SOOOOOOOOO proud of myself for able to lit the whole wok and pple saying 'wow', then 'ACT' as if i very pro, add brandy and red wine and and mustard and what not.. then flaming the pan.. haha.. gd experience for me. now that i know how to do this, next target is crepe suzette!! haha.. last time tasted the sauce my colleague did and was going- wow~ i want my turn.. haha..

3 weeks is like so fast.. i'm left with 3 whole weeks. minus my AL and off days, i'm left with like 2 weeks only.. to think that half a year ago, my attachment seemed like forever..

i'm lovin' the place more and more.. and the split shifts are giving me hell coz i dun have enuff sleep, but slightly extra cash coz there is a small allowance for everyday that i work split.. in other words, they are paying me to read books in the library.. coz that's where i usually go if i dun have any outing with friends.. great(job+pple)=happy PJ/K

felt like forever since the last time i blog. anyway, time is just a word we use to gauge and indicate the passing of age...

i was asked if i come from China(hainan or shanghai), Thailand, or Malaysia. and pple kept asking me what university i'm from when i told them i'm still schooling. and i dun understand why they cant get over their initial shock of me being a local, and that i am under 20 years old. O-K-A-Y. i got an oriental face. that's why i'm in mandarin!

i dun think it's necessary to explain my family background to them and that my grandpa is a China chinese.. maybe that's why i'm being raised in a VERY traditional family-oriented family. very traditional to the extent that the "ranking" system is still in place. respect for the elders is a must and EVEN for opening a fridge, we have to ask for permission.. that was when we were young. my sis still used to do it last year. so maybe that's why i dun really fancy cold stuff.. coz behind that indulgence, comes a price...

----------------------- enuff of crap.. more to come..

got thru my 4th day at Top of the M... on my 2nd day there, i saw this wedding proposal.. so sweet.. the guy arranged for a bouquet of 99 roses to be sent and kept by us before he arrives, then the service staff will present the flowers to the lady before the meal.. the band on duty played "tonight i celebrate my love" and he knelt down and ask the question.. the lady said 'yes'. that scene put me in a great mood the whole evening.. and another guest was saying that he celebrates his 39th birthday 39 floor in the air.. coz the restaurant is on the 39th floor..

the restaurant is lit mainly by candles, and some dimmed lights near the entrance.. it's practically impossible to see the table numbers, especially when the number tag is about the size of half a passport photo and hidden behind the salt and pepper shaker.. so as a runner, most of the time, i have to walk round the restaurant in order to get to the correct table. and did i forget to mention it's a revolving restaurant? lolx.. the feeling of coming out of the kitchen and seeing different guests is so cool.. everything's so nice... the view from the highest point in the middle of singapore.. working in such an environment puts me in a very good mood, daily.. great scenery, happy guests, fantastic soothing music played by the band and most importantly, no crowd and passer-by.. even the split shift cant deter me from enjoying my training thoroughly.. the 4-5 hours break in between my shift i change and go to orchard library for some peace and quiet.. indulge in some music and a good book in a cosy corner..

broke 2 sauce dishes and stupidly used my hand to pick up the broken pieces.. the chefs were looking at me as if i'm an idiot and they reminded me to use a broom for goodness sake, in case i cut my fingers.. for a moment i dunno what i was doing.. so suddenly this song came to my head.. (jay chou) "... xiang ku, lai shi tan zi ji ma bi le mei..."

i'm tired.. so tired after waiting for 10 days for this off day that i slept for 14 hours.. woke up at 3 today.. the feeling of not having to be at Meritus for 14 hours each working day is cool.. damn those 10am-11 pm shifts.. but i'm haing fun.. if i could only minus the 5 hours in between..

tomorrow is saturday.. that means i'll be overworked coz SINGAPOREANS will be out, trying the new hi-tea menu at a discount..

dining at the restaurant is ex.. so ex that i can never imagine myself there.. 4 pax paying $1400 for a dinner.. how cheap can that be? that is like, my 10 weeks' pay!!

life in soft hues.. the warm fuzzy feeling.. fly me to polaris..

[Don't fear any changes that are ahead, .. Even if you think you don't adjust too well, you have far more adaptability than you realize. Without change, life would become stagnant and lifeless. It wouldn't be long before you became dissatisfied and bored with the same old thing. Try to see change as an adventure and a gateway to greater happiness and fulfillment in your life. Trust more in your versatility, as well.]

haha... my astrology prediction for today..

andsth for this month:
[Lucky you, Libra, because this month a new beginning is possible. This is your favorite time of year anyway but now your life is about to take a turn in a new direction that is full of excitement and in alignment with your values...]

so true huh.. my fav time of the year with high rainfall.. and the pple at Top M is certainly woring hard and it's fab seeing everyone giving their best..

[The middle of the month will allow some of your dreams to come to fruition. Watch October 17 to 22 when the Full Moon Eclipse and other astrological transits trigger events that will have a significant effect.]

.. hmm middle of the month huh.. i'm so looking forward to it..

split shift today.. i work from 11 to 11.. actually it's 11-3, 7-11.. so i have a 4-hr break in between.. didnt thought that split shift working hours are so easy to pass.. the pple are great.. and i felt so stupid keeping my annual leaves till the last department.. no wonder all of them love that place.. i'm only a noobz there and i love it.. compared to Front Office, this place is like HEAVEN. i'm the one and only trainee there.. the NEWEST servie staff has been there for half a year.. so i can just ask ANYONE if i have any questions.. and it's so easy to talk to them compared to FO. it's the 1st time i speak so much dialect during working ours to pple that i met for the first time.. easy going pple who love their jobs.. maybe that's what attracts me.. i dunno.. they all seemed so eager to serve, so willing to help.. that i cant help liking the job.. and in just ONE day, i see the difference between the different departments.. from the i-see-guests-queuing-but-i-tried-to-act-busy-and-hopefully-if-i-dun-look-up-they'll-go-to-other-counters--face compared to yes-sir-is-there-anything-i-can-help?-i'm-glad-to-be-of-service-- face..

MEIYIN.. i'm sooo happy i'm there lor.. the pple are nice, can crap.. haha.. so lucky i didnt shorten the training by alot.. no wonder all of u cant bear to leave that place.. now i now why u feel so lost on ur first day at recep.. i can imagine IF i started off with F&B first, then go to recep.. sure blur! haha

tomorrow 10-11.. haha.. even longer working hours.. :) can finish an entire book by the time i start dinner shift! target: to finish reading 10 chinese books by the end of my attacment!

last day under front office.. elated? you bet.

sat was horrible, today nightmare.. i've enough walking for a week. i hate celebrations at south tower. especially BIG functions that has an estimation of 620 pax! today a guy called Peter Sng celebrated his 60th bdae, inviting 500 pple!! wth lor.. why muz he announce to pple that he's old?

i've been walking, walking, walking, walking and walking.

seriously speaking, they shld build a travelator all the way from the main entrance to the south tower. and i have to 'escort' these grp of pple to the other tower.. imagine they kept coming in 2s.. damn it. cant they come in groups of 30 or more each time?

finally, no more 'training' as a doorgirl. i overhead this lady saying to her husband "i've never seen a lady opening doors before!" i dunno if i SHLD feel honoured being called a 'lady' or i shld feel sad coz pple see me as a door girl.

plus i really dun understand why s'poreans are so damn rude when I open the door for them and they cant open their precious mouth and say 'thanks'. will this kind gesture kill them? they look at me from head to toe and walk off. always like that. everytime they do that, i ahve this feeling that they percieve me as a secondary school drop out, no qualifications so i have to resort to doing this kinda 'low class job' that they would NEVER want THEIR kids to do. sometimes i wonder ar.. why do i study so much, get such good results, juz to open doors and say 'hello, gd morning?'

putting in so much effort juz to open a damn door and no one appreciates it. walking so much to escort guets to where they wanna go but no one sees it. the management only see what they wanna see. so they're always there when we juz happened to stand ard and chat, they always happened to be there when i'm so damn tired i dun feel like moving yet i have to drag my feet to help guest, put on that ever plastic face and greet them with a spirit so enthusiastic that i'll puke if i can see myself.

what this service world has become.. tomorrow is top M day. will update more.. 29 more days. 25 more working days. 21 more days to go minus my AL. that means, i only have 3 more weeks to go. official 4, actual 3. ending soon...

i'm scared to move on, yet i don't want to be stuck at the same place forever.

i'm so tired i don't know what to say, and don't feel like speaking.

8 hours of standing is nothing provided it doesnt have any side effects..

2 more days to a new department.

good luck.

i calculated.. i'm 23 weeks and 2 days into my attachment.. that means i would have ended my SIP after this period of time, IF i didnt start early.. BUT too bad i did.

i've always love this picture. it's a picture of one of the skins from www.blogskins.com...
somehow it reminds me of me in a crowd...
been down to do alot of things recently.. and my recent e-log is so long that i couldnt believe the amount of crap i can generate. i juz sat there for hours and type away.. that explains the decrease in number of posts in blogger.. not only that, sth my cousin said sets me thinking.. pple are paying dearly for their freedom of speech on blogger.. being suspended from school, law cases and so on.. so really, if a private space is all we want to vent our anger and blogging provides for all of this and more, why are there pple out there trying to kill this anti-depression tool by which others are using to keep themselves sane? maybe it's the works of the psychologists and psychiatrists.. due to this increasing popular tool to de-stress, fewer pple are scheduled for visits to see personnels of mental health... seriously i wonder, is the world such a tough place to live in??

There's so much i want to say, and so many things i want to do today.

Simple things like waking up early and get out of the house for breakfast, going for a swim coz of this horible weather, cutting my hair coz it's too long, singing at the top of my voice (that would be considered as screaming then, wouldnt it?), going for an eveining jog, meeting up with some friends for tea and a good chat, clearing my cupboard...

It's not that i am procrastinating. I'm not giving excuses here ya. It's just that there are things more important in life than these.. Dont we often read about trying not to miss the little things in life??

To tell the truth, i'm actually dreading going back to work.. So all i want to do today is to slack. slack my day away before i go steamrolling ahead for my last week at reception.

In the confort of my home, i sit watching shows the whole day, waking up late, enjoying brunch without worrying about being late for work, make-up-irritance-free for the whole day, and able to do whatever i like in slow-mo..

Indulgence-Life's greatest pleasure.

~Once in a purple moon sharing time~

I always find myself thinking about other things.
That kinda stuff that would drift into my mind,
then it would grow and take off in a million directions.
After a while,
I noticed that the only thing that had gone by was the time.

--------------------------------------------------

A long long time ago, I've decided to live in a treehouse, or logcabin, or a small hut at some countryside when i grow old without knowing the reason behind that decision. Now that I am old enough, i finally realise why. All thanks to a particular author who said this:

I needed only to be at someplace where i could think straight, remember, and properly invent.
I needed the blessed emptiness of mind that comes from birgsong and dripping trees.
I needed to sleep at night in a square box made of chestmut trees who died of natural causes.

------------------------------------------------

I used to suffer a great deal thinking I was the only one in the world so lonely and troubled.
Then, I opened the door to myself and discovered there are millions of people just like me.
It isn't lonely anymore..
But it's miserable to be so ordinary.

-There's a hole in my sidewalk by Portia Nelson-

-----------------------------------------------

Soon we became afraid of being punished
and also afraid of not receiving the reward.
The reward is the attention that we got from people.
We soon develop a need to hook other people's attention
in order to get the reward.
The reward feels good, and we keep doing
what others want us to do in order to get the reward.
With that fear of being punished and the fear of not getting the reward,
we start pretending to be what we are not,
just to please others, just to be good enough for someone else.
We pretend to be what we are not because we are afraid of being rejected.
The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough.

----------------------------------------------

Fire is generated by emotions that come from fear. Whenever we feel the emotions of anger, jealousy, envy or hate, we experience a fire burning within us. We are living in a dream of hell.

felt like one of those trick candles that will ignite again after being blown off..

time and again i set my mind to do things that i thought i am capable of doing,
time and again i let myself down.

feel like giving up once and for all. time-sth that i love to read and think abt..

passing time, passing time.. it matters coz i'm always passing through time. backwards.

they say that the star u see at night existed 300 years back. that got to do with the speed of light and what not. right now i going thru time to see for myself this myth.

situations- they're the same everywhere, anytime. they dont change. we do.

crap

- Celestial visitants, flying on spiritual not material opinions.
- Don't have individual names.
- Have intelligence and emotions.
- No gender, no soulmates.
- Telepathic speaking
- No sense of humour, but great joy and wonderful ability to laugh.
- Name itself defies darkness.
- Come to us in groups of 10 or more.
- Read our thoughts if we give permisson
- They are personal. Unless we ask, we won't receive.
- Ask for assistance from others.
- Can help with insomia and even fates.

-------------------------------------------------------

the feel of his spirit was too old for most pple to understand and when he walked by they would look up and say O, the sun went behind a cloud, or, the moon must be full. and so he walked for a long time by himself with no one to talk to. pple were so used to seeing him as someone to look up to that he thought they never really saw him.

------------------------------------------------------

did some personality quiz thru the link in ken's blog to find that i am:

introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual..

lolx.

The ones closest to us, are the ones who get the full impact of fluctuating emotions.
It's always like that.

Life has a way to turn the innocent parties into victims.
Maybe that's why they say it's always better to give than to receive.

So no matter how i see it, life's a joke. Live with it.

hello kitty polaroid pics 

QY's bdae celebration today.. at Plaza Parkroyal, as usual, for as long as i remember.. since Sec 2 i think..

food is fantastic, fruits extremely sweet. had my cup of cappaucino, as usual.. now that they've renovated the place, they added a chocolate fountain.. so i had a sinful lunch.. lots of pictures, fun and food...

QY's dad was telling me not to go into F&B or reception nxt time.. if i really want to go into the hotel line, try room sales.. good idea actually.. it's sth like front desk, minus the high chance of contact with nasty guests..

tried Chef Ho's newest creation, some sherbet.. it's fabulous!!! had the pineapple, lemon, orange and coconut one.. hehe.. plus the creampuff with chocolate mousse... arrrr~~ and the drunken prawns.. yummy~

all thanks to QY, it's another day full of laughter and fun.. the rest of the grp entertain us with their stories working as an extra.. and we were sharing horror stories with QY's mom.. and we were the last table to leave.. hehe.. plus we had extra food straight from the kitchen.. hehe.. :)

her birthday prezzies are all colour coded. used to be pink and white. this year it's purple. so she says that i was the one who influenced all of them.. isnt that great? it's such a mysterious emotional colour.. maybe that's why i love it.

another year has passed. send the pics to meow juz now and was looking at the pics we took last year at the same place for her 18th bdae celebration. we've changed. all of us. young then, youthful now. after her, it's me. next year we'll all be 20. another foot into a new phase of ourlives.

juz wanna take this chance to thank whoever staying upstairs for my wonderful life. good life, great family and friends. what more can a person ask for?

----------------------------------------------------

out wif ching ytd.. first to chinatown, then to art museum, the to suntec for the foodfair thingy.. once in a blue moon, i get into the artistic mood.

the things that matter, are usually subtle. juz like a whirlpool underneath a calmy sea, impact undetermined by what we see.

food fair sux, pple everywhere. i'm afraid i'll knock into an old lady, or into a young kid. i'm scared someone will knock into me and splash their bowl of soup or tipped their plate of beehoon on me. and everywhere i turn, i see litter. overflowing rubbish boxes, toothpicks and plastic bags on the floor, empty comtainers at everycorner. not to forget how bad the attitude of the pple was. tsk tsk tsk was all i hear. pple giving the why-u-bang-into-me-yet-nv-apologise dirty look when they're the ones who wasnt moving. this shows that they've nv heard of the phrase-you'll get run over if u remain still.. or was it u'll get knocked down if u stay still. watever it is, i'm iritated. but like what ching says, this is SINGAPORE. how can we ever avoid crowd?
anyway, i missed FoodHotelAsia. if i have the chance, i'll go again. but i doubt so

to add on, i was at the customer service counter in bugis this morning and heard this lady exclaiming that "how can u give customer service when u're so slow in attending to customers." so what she says irritates me to the max. so i told meow and BL that at my workplace, s'poreans are the fussy ones and most likely to complain.. so they want efficient AND excellent service.

i got no complaints abt the staff's service. polite, efficient and the gift is nicely wrapped. the lady is impatient and fussy. demanded for a free wrapper, and when the staff passed it to her, she juz snatched it without a word of thanks and demanded for the scotchtape, all the while grumbling abt how slow the staff there were and their service. so tell me. how can a customer blame the staff when the customer didnt know that patience is a virtue ad that it's obvious to everyone there that the staff were putting their best comforting a lost ger, locating her parents while attending to a queue of pple? y cant she juz wait for a few freaking minutes? our time is as precious as hers. juz because she bought some kid's presents last minute doesnt mean that everyone got to accommodate to her needs. she should buy things in advance to prevent such incidents from happening. when u're in a bad mood, dun blame it on others. especially the service staff. it's bad karma. what goes ard comes ard. GOOD luck to her.

If life had a remote control, which button would you rather hit?

- Pause
- Record
- Rewind
- Fast forward
- Eject

============================================

i have been single for so long i dont know if i wll remain unattached for the rest of my days... (haha)

============================================

i'm plodding thru life in black and white while everyone else is joyously dancing around in garish multicolours.. =(

============================================

the 4 Cs i want:
Curiosity
Confidence
Courage
Constancy

has been a long time since i started blogging.. used to love my entries so much i'd read them over again just to make myself contented. set up archives link so that others who missed out can catch up. wanted to do some serious reflection but realised i cant seem to blog about interesting things anymore. i'm nt saying that the entries were interesting but at least they're nt all about work, work, tired, work, sian, haizz, and watever. at least i'm able to say and express. somehow, words mean nothing and a blog is juz an empty space. i cant convince myself to let emotions form in nothingness and how am i supposed to tangiblise feelings? okay.. paragraphing prob again..

the two ways i can differentiate between an okay mood and a bad one is through the use of CAPS and exclaimation marks(!!!!!) and the other without caps and lots of (....).

so if i'm unhappy i can say "WATEVER! MAKE USE of the trainees!!!!!!!"
if i'm fine, i can say "watever lah~ it doesnt matter....."

so somehow, i can only imagine u pple having 2 images of me while reading my blog. no kidding.

so today's entry lack of "!!" and "THIS ONE". so there's no need to further elaborate on how i am today.

i guess most of the time, i dunno how to be a friend. but anyway, dig up one of my quote books today.. realised that the quotes that i took down are those than i can relate to, somehow or another.. words that impact.. but maybe nt anymore.. watever it is, time waits for no one. the world moves on.

i'm nt trying to make everyone see my point of view.. i'm trying hard to convince myself too.. most of the time i dunno what i shld do, so long as i do sth... coz i know that change is the only constant. in order to move on, am i supposed to be changing or shld i be standing still? if i'm stationary, the world moves on, so things are changing. if i'm changing and the world is changing, maybe we'll always be the same..

saw this horoscope thingy that i think is true:

[all will be well if Librans dont insist on explanations]

it's true.. but why is it so?

July 5, 2005
It would seem that your sensitivity is in slight conflict with your actions, peijun. You continue to go through the daily motions and do what you planned on doing, but it seems as if your heart isn't in it anymore. Don't ask yourself why. It's just that you have worked hard and have been thinking hard lately. You have reached your limit and it is time for you to rest.

all i did today was stare at the computer and type the whole hotel standards into soft copy!! and i'm left wif 2 more depts... she told me what she intended to do.. that is, to compare the hotel ISO standards with the standards i typed, den make comparisons and what not.. i didnt faint on the spot.

been typing, typing and typing away.. rather reluctant to blog actually.. but realised i need to update.. arbo cobwebs will start to form.. plus i'm soooo EXCITED to say this... M6 shld go, ASAP. i cant stand him.. but well, he muz understand that u cant possibly make everyone like you. juz like i now some pple couldnt stand me.. well, if u cant stand, den sit.

firstly, i need to give a bit of backgrd.. watched that superstar show last week.. and that person sang A*Mei's song!!!! is he a gay or what? why cant he choose some GUY singer that sounds a little like a female? why muz he choose a singer like A*Mei, who used to have such a powerful voice? and he totally ruin it!! if u wanna sing a song by a diff gender, pls keep it to the karaoke room or ur own house.. plus, he looked like Jerry Yan plus Sun He Yao Shan. and his smile reminds me of that SLY. OMTG~!! isnt he a walking disaster? we have 3 individual locals in the entertainment industry that CMI.. so here comes a 3 in 1.. isnt it like instant coffee or what? how i wished he's like instant maggi. juz 3 minutes and it's time to say sayonara..

been spending quite alot lately.. the clsrm session on sat was so-so.. still having communication breakdown with zhang wei... but the gathering after that was great. went cartel for lunch, den some window shopping, den kbox, and lastly to wach war of the worlds.. spent alot.. but real fun.. at this rate, i'm nt able to get the watch i'm looking for, the pair of birkenstock, new bags, jeans and more clothes.. i bought another pair of court shoes ytd.. plus another top.. and i feel at the top of the world.. frankly speaking, i do think i'm abit crazy.. why are humans so easily contented? when we're easily contented, we wont hav the drive to continue to strive for the things we want.. i'm getting more materialistic.. and bitchy.. i think if i let my 5 yrs ago self witness this moment, she'll faint..

and i'm starting to blabber nonsense.. this is what happens when u lose touch communicating with a computer after starting SIP, logging in only to post journal.

so is this a gd sign or what??