horoscope:
[June 28, 2005
In your attempts to always be ''Ms. Nice Gal,'' peijun, you might find that you are compromising some of your own inner values. Know that balance and harmony is a wonderful thing, but it is not always worth the price of self-sacrifice. Don't become someone you aren't just so you can maintain the peace. Your powers of tolerance are apt to be tested today. Don't feel bad if you suddenly feel the urge to fight. Go with it.]
lolx.... hahahahahahaha...
counting down to payday..
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我们用尽一生追求物质享受. 但到达人生某个阶段, 我们往往发现, 最珍惜的也许是无法上标上价钱的琐碎事物. 像最初的交谈, 最后的拥抱, 最坚定的眼神, 最灿烂的微笑... 最美好的回忆..
最近读了两本张小娴的书.. 那时候的我才发现, 世上没有永远. 一般来说, 当一个人用"永远" 两个字,想表的是在那一刻, 煞那就是永恒...
==================================================
生活没什么大变化. 也许是我适应能力强.. 又或许自己是处于一个极度缺乏感觉的精神内.. haizz
Monday, June 27
Monday, June 20
after june 18
Yesterday was good, today even better.
Forgotten alot abt ytd, juz remembered that i woke up feeling terrible..
Went back to sch for the ceremony, den my parents brought me to plaza parkroyal for buffet lunch.. v^.^
Saw a couple of my cousemates: huiping, eileen, huihui, patrick, trevor, qiuqun, evangeline, jasmine etc... and 2 of my sec sch mates like leesiah and joanne.. Almost fell asleep before the whole thing begins..
Totally didnt expect the marketing thing.. And i'm still wondering if i heard wrongly.. Izzit really marketing??!!! If it is, i'm extremely amazed. Marketing is one of the least subject i enjoyed. I could have sworn i fell asleep in EVERY SINGLE lecture and tutorial. Except once when i was chatting with eve over sth real amusing..
Seriously speaking, i loathe the projects. I hate the 4 Ps. So i have absolutely no idea why it's that subject and none other. And Mr Ram would know how sleepy a student i were coz he always caught me sleeping during his lessons, juz tt he's way too kind to embarrass me.
To think that i'm quite well-known for sleeping during lectures AND tutorials coz i have pple coming up to me and ask how i'm able to sleep thru the whole semester.. -_-"' How i know? It's a habit... Maybe tt's why they're shocked. i am too..
Went back to meritus for a trainees' meeting.. Waste my time.
Thought abt alot of things on my way home...
----------------------------------------------------------
Thought back abt how determined i was to choose the polytechnic route since day 1 in secondary school. The decision never waivers.
Thought abt how many of my wants becomes my needs hence they were like dreams come true.
Ms Teoh said "look for new beginnings when u reach dead end." This i think i have a lot to learn.
[There's a million things i feel like doing today, like cry]
Humans are humble by nature, that i believe. So ytd i allowed myself to feel proud, abt myself. Juz like i let my humble nature rest on the day i receivd my Os results, the day i received the best cadet award, the day i stood on stage for pistol, the day i was elected captain, the day i got my trophies and medals, the days i stopped arguments and quarrels, the days... Good, bad and ugly.. Days i cant seemed to forget.
Thru the years, i've steadily conqured hills then mountains.. Sometimes, i find that God is unfair. He's too good to me. I find Angels and Him giving me stronger wings to fly higher. Yet i realised maybe all they did was to cheer me on (i know who they are).. I made MYSELf stronger by exercising my muscles, spreading my wings and fly. It's sth like when u tasted heaven, u wont want to be down in the dumps, ever.
I was in the lousiest EM2 cls in Primary sch and being sort of looked down then and by the high and mighty counselors clique in secondary school. Maybe tt's why i dun want to be there again. Secondary 2 was THE year.. Pple recognised me for my consistent good results, sports excellence, CCAs achievements, equally talented bro and extremely popular friends.. And i'm a greedy person. I want to keep all that. Keep them forever, even if they're worth nothing- the titles, the wow~ factor.. Coz they made me who i am today..
In one of my very very old entries, i mentioned abt riding on pple's luck and fame. I'm still doing that. Maybe we all do. Some pple juz bring luck to u, it's as simple as ABC.
[Once in awhile, we need to let our wings rest and soar. Hence we ride on winds and glide.]
It's the same for me.
------------------------------------------------------------
Work was fantastic today. besides having a great treat at the lounge, i worked extra 1.5 hrs without OT pay, juz sitting there and chatting with them..
And i find that steph and i am the best partner. Everytime i work with her, i sure get tips.. haha.. Though it's nt alot.. Didnt realise till she told me abt it.. lolx.. So i really hope i get more chance to work wif her in the future.. :P
And today, i stood at the lounge watching this interview with MM Lee.. Was so inspirational that i was rendered speechless.. lolx..
he mentioned sth tt reminds me of life...
"we can only play with the cards that we have in our hands"
so i think: isnt tt a splendid example of luck?
isnt tt what we call destiny? aint tt adaptation?
so am i wrong when i say i think success is 95% luck and 5% hardwork?
he said sth like he is lucky to have Singapore. imagine being born in Africa. what can he do? that's the same case for many of us.. if u're born with a silver spoon in ur mouth, u can talk abt being entrepreneurial and starting a new business. if u're born having to worry abt ur next meal, would u still think of having a new concept restarant in paragon? or designing clothes for fashion shows? or even winning the lottery?
=====================================
END OF STORY.
=====================================
Forgotten alot abt ytd, juz remembered that i woke up feeling terrible..
Went back to sch for the ceremony, den my parents brought me to plaza parkroyal for buffet lunch.. v^.^
Saw a couple of my cousemates: huiping, eileen, huihui, patrick, trevor, qiuqun, evangeline, jasmine etc... and 2 of my sec sch mates like leesiah and joanne.. Almost fell asleep before the whole thing begins..
Totally didnt expect the marketing thing.. And i'm still wondering if i heard wrongly.. Izzit really marketing??!!! If it is, i'm extremely amazed. Marketing is one of the least subject i enjoyed. I could have sworn i fell asleep in EVERY SINGLE lecture and tutorial. Except once when i was chatting with eve over sth real amusing..
Seriously speaking, i loathe the projects. I hate the 4 Ps. So i have absolutely no idea why it's that subject and none other. And Mr Ram would know how sleepy a student i were coz he always caught me sleeping during his lessons, juz tt he's way too kind to embarrass me.
To think that i'm quite well-known for sleeping during lectures AND tutorials coz i have pple coming up to me and ask how i'm able to sleep thru the whole semester.. -_-"' How i know? It's a habit... Maybe tt's why they're shocked. i am too..
Went back to meritus for a trainees' meeting.. Waste my time.
Thought abt alot of things on my way home...
----------------------------------------------------------
Thought back abt how determined i was to choose the polytechnic route since day 1 in secondary school. The decision never waivers.
Thought abt how many of my wants becomes my needs hence they were like dreams come true.
Ms Teoh said "look for new beginnings when u reach dead end." This i think i have a lot to learn.
[There's a million things i feel like doing today, like cry]
Humans are humble by nature, that i believe. So ytd i allowed myself to feel proud, abt myself. Juz like i let my humble nature rest on the day i receivd my Os results, the day i received the best cadet award, the day i stood on stage for pistol, the day i was elected captain, the day i got my trophies and medals, the days i stopped arguments and quarrels, the days... Good, bad and ugly.. Days i cant seemed to forget.
Thru the years, i've steadily conqured hills then mountains.. Sometimes, i find that God is unfair. He's too good to me. I find Angels and Him giving me stronger wings to fly higher. Yet i realised maybe all they did was to cheer me on (i know who they are).. I made MYSELf stronger by exercising my muscles, spreading my wings and fly. It's sth like when u tasted heaven, u wont want to be down in the dumps, ever.
I was in the lousiest EM2 cls in Primary sch and being sort of looked down then and by the high and mighty counselors clique in secondary school. Maybe tt's why i dun want to be there again. Secondary 2 was THE year.. Pple recognised me for my consistent good results, sports excellence, CCAs achievements, equally talented bro and extremely popular friends.. And i'm a greedy person. I want to keep all that. Keep them forever, even if they're worth nothing- the titles, the wow~ factor.. Coz they made me who i am today..
In one of my very very old entries, i mentioned abt riding on pple's luck and fame. I'm still doing that. Maybe we all do. Some pple juz bring luck to u, it's as simple as ABC.
[Once in awhile, we need to let our wings rest and soar. Hence we ride on winds and glide.]
It's the same for me.
------------------------------------------------------------
Work was fantastic today. besides having a great treat at the lounge, i worked extra 1.5 hrs without OT pay, juz sitting there and chatting with them..
And i find that steph and i am the best partner. Everytime i work with her, i sure get tips.. haha.. Though it's nt alot.. Didnt realise till she told me abt it.. lolx.. So i really hope i get more chance to work wif her in the future.. :P
And today, i stood at the lounge watching this interview with MM Lee.. Was so inspirational that i was rendered speechless.. lolx..
he mentioned sth tt reminds me of life...
"we can only play with the cards that we have in our hands"
so i think: isnt tt a splendid example of luck?
isnt tt what we call destiny? aint tt adaptation?
so am i wrong when i say i think success is 95% luck and 5% hardwork?
he said sth like he is lucky to have Singapore. imagine being born in Africa. what can he do? that's the same case for many of us.. if u're born with a silver spoon in ur mouth, u can talk abt being entrepreneurial and starting a new business. if u're born having to worry abt ur next meal, would u still think of having a new concept restarant in paragon? or designing clothes for fashion shows? or even winning the lottery?
=====================================
END OF STORY.
=====================================
Saturday, June 18
this is what i love about the reception area.. the mirrors!! it's tinted.. lolx.. take a close look at the "vase" of "plant" at the extreme left.. it's what the DESIGNER came up with.. anyway, the pink and white vase and the round plate on the right is also by the same designer.. wonder why the decor is so diff.. 
Friday, June 17
many things in life are fated
i seriousy think that electronic devices and i cant get along well. in fact, we cant even co-exist.
the keycard laptop is down, the fax machine got prob, i kept forgetting to charge my hp, the plasma tv in the lounge cant change channel coz the control is missing, and the com at home hates me.. everyone else in my family seems to be able to operate the com but not me. there is a time limit of abt 10 mins b4 the com "hangs itself" and usually it happens when i'm the one using.. so i cant check mail and cant blog for days.. but that's as well.. work is taking up too much of my time.
btw, i lost the anklet char and jas gave to me last yr.. wore it to work and took it off.. i cant find it in my bag nor the locker so it's sayonara i guess.. too bad..
called jas to ask for my blazer back coz my cousin wants to borrow from me. i "politely and conveniently asked" her abt the money she owed me. and was kinda pissed with her reply..
i dun like money talk coz it strains the frenship (provided if there is any left) and it's quite an awkward topic to end with.. she told me she can return me the blazer and shoes the following night coz she can go over to timo's house to collect but the money she got to contact her friend to get the money to return me!!! like wth lor.. freaking irritating.. it's already quite embarrassing for a friend to remind u that u have outstanding loans to be paid ASAP.. that shows how forgetful and irresponsible u are.. plus the "ask frm fren to return me my money so i can return u" part makes me wonder if she even have a "little" savings.. and if she's really broke, cant she borrow from her mom first? i really have NO idea.. she insisted that she return me the blazer and shoes FIRST, den talk abt money later.. but i aint gonna do that.. coz i got a VERY strong feeling that later means never.. so i told her to return me ALL 3 items TOGETHER, the blazer, shoes and money.. but she was reluctant.. by then i was freaking irritated.. i told her to contact her fren, and get back to me latest by friday and i wanna hear from her by then. loathe it when pple do the damn disappearing act on me time and again, den give a whole load of excuses and crap. and i'm nt sorry to bring up past incidents while dealing with the present situation. watever it is, i'll get EVERYTHING from her by next week. case closed.
met shini at the train station on my way home today. it's already abt 12 midnight when we reached Hougang.. the 1st thing she said when she saw me was to comment that i look fairer.. of course i am, 2 months without vitamin D takes a whole lot of pigment off my skin..
right now, i juz want to get those damn mgtmnt faces out of my mind.. they're somehow haunting me coz i kept thinking how much i dislike them and why they're not among the 200 to go.. and i see them everyday, coz when they hav nth to do, they come to the new lounge. when they hav things to do, they come to the lounge too.. and when they're there, they make life difficult for all of us. they pinpoint things that are not soothing to THEIR eyes, they give sugegstions that we ALREADY THOUGHT OF, and make remarks that we have NO CONTROL over.. i think most of them sort of hate me but i dun blame them. i dun like ALL of them either..
and i got a feeling i'm going to get diabetes at the rate i'm eating mentoes.. and i got to go back for a trainees' meeting with the front office manager on my off day!
and i'm so fortunate the management works during office hours.. this is the first time i'm SO grateful to be in the afternoon shift!! talking abt this, it's the 1st time in a month that i'm working afternoon shift!!! say goodbye to the rush hour..
the keycard laptop is down, the fax machine got prob, i kept forgetting to charge my hp, the plasma tv in the lounge cant change channel coz the control is missing, and the com at home hates me.. everyone else in my family seems to be able to operate the com but not me. there is a time limit of abt 10 mins b4 the com "hangs itself" and usually it happens when i'm the one using.. so i cant check mail and cant blog for days.. but that's as well.. work is taking up too much of my time.
btw, i lost the anklet char and jas gave to me last yr.. wore it to work and took it off.. i cant find it in my bag nor the locker so it's sayonara i guess.. too bad..
called jas to ask for my blazer back coz my cousin wants to borrow from me. i "politely and conveniently asked" her abt the money she owed me. and was kinda pissed with her reply..
i dun like money talk coz it strains the frenship (provided if there is any left) and it's quite an awkward topic to end with.. she told me she can return me the blazer and shoes the following night coz she can go over to timo's house to collect but the money she got to contact her friend to get the money to return me!!! like wth lor.. freaking irritating.. it's already quite embarrassing for a friend to remind u that u have outstanding loans to be paid ASAP.. that shows how forgetful and irresponsible u are.. plus the "ask frm fren to return me my money so i can return u" part makes me wonder if she even have a "little" savings.. and if she's really broke, cant she borrow from her mom first? i really have NO idea.. she insisted that she return me the blazer and shoes FIRST, den talk abt money later.. but i aint gonna do that.. coz i got a VERY strong feeling that later means never.. so i told her to return me ALL 3 items TOGETHER, the blazer, shoes and money.. but she was reluctant.. by then i was freaking irritated.. i told her to contact her fren, and get back to me latest by friday and i wanna hear from her by then. loathe it when pple do the damn disappearing act on me time and again, den give a whole load of excuses and crap. and i'm nt sorry to bring up past incidents while dealing with the present situation. watever it is, i'll get EVERYTHING from her by next week. case closed.
met shini at the train station on my way home today. it's already abt 12 midnight when we reached Hougang.. the 1st thing she said when she saw me was to comment that i look fairer.. of course i am, 2 months without vitamin D takes a whole lot of pigment off my skin..
right now, i juz want to get those damn mgtmnt faces out of my mind.. they're somehow haunting me coz i kept thinking how much i dislike them and why they're not among the 200 to go.. and i see them everyday, coz when they hav nth to do, they come to the new lounge. when they hav things to do, they come to the lounge too.. and when they're there, they make life difficult for all of us. they pinpoint things that are not soothing to THEIR eyes, they give sugegstions that we ALREADY THOUGHT OF, and make remarks that we have NO CONTROL over.. i think most of them sort of hate me but i dun blame them. i dun like ALL of them either..
and i got a feeling i'm going to get diabetes at the rate i'm eating mentoes.. and i got to go back for a trainees' meeting with the front office manager on my off day!
and i'm so fortunate the management works during office hours.. this is the first time i'm SO grateful to be in the afternoon shift!! talking abt this, it's the 1st time in a month that i'm working afternoon shift!!! say goodbye to the rush hour..
Monday, June 6
anything u resist, persist
came across this before and thot it makes no sense [anything u resist, persist] . now it does.
has been 2 weeks after concierge and more than one and a half months into SIP. had some really enjoyable times, some not-so-terrible occurances and i get along with the pple well... overall, it's okay but somehow, something is not right.
was thinking if i didnt pay as much attention to that inner voice, or i'm juz doing another of that closing-in acts.. came to a conclusion that it's all becoz of insufficient rest and repressed impulses.. so i did some changes to my life.. spent money without feeling anything. i carry the words of "heartache" on my mouth yet i cant feel any pain. i thought the more i spend, the more guilty i'll feel. but i was wrong. usually when i go on a shopping spree, i'll unpack all the things and tk a look at everything again. this time, i juz chuck them in the cupboard. things dont seem to matter.
slept for close to 14 hours. wake up feeling normal. went shopping with my mom at chinatown and walked to SGH to visit my grandpa. since that day i've been trying to remember his age but i couldnt recall. is it 80? 82 or 85... making trips to the hospital makes me feel sick. mom met her cousin there. her cousin's husband dying of cancer. last stage. incurable..
to me, it's nth. pple come, and go. it's juz a matter of time. and the strange feeling is still there. the methods i tried didnt help.
we put them on. it doesnt help us to be a better person. only more self-centered. sometimes, we must have less in order to be more.
has been 2 weeks after concierge and more than one and a half months into SIP. had some really enjoyable times, some not-so-terrible occurances and i get along with the pple well... overall, it's okay but somehow, something is not right.
was thinking if i didnt pay as much attention to that inner voice, or i'm juz doing another of that closing-in acts.. came to a conclusion that it's all becoz of insufficient rest and repressed impulses.. so i did some changes to my life.. spent money without feeling anything. i carry the words of "heartache" on my mouth yet i cant feel any pain. i thought the more i spend, the more guilty i'll feel. but i was wrong. usually when i go on a shopping spree, i'll unpack all the things and tk a look at everything again. this time, i juz chuck them in the cupboard. things dont seem to matter.
slept for close to 14 hours. wake up feeling normal. went shopping with my mom at chinatown and walked to SGH to visit my grandpa. since that day i've been trying to remember his age but i couldnt recall. is it 80? 82 or 85... making trips to the hospital makes me feel sick. mom met her cousin there. her cousin's husband dying of cancer. last stage. incurable..
to me, it's nth. pple come, and go. it's juz a matter of time. and the strange feeling is still there. the methods i tried didnt help.
we put them on. it doesnt help us to be a better person. only more self-centered. sometimes, we must have less in order to be more.
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