say cheese

saw a 4A classmate in the bus on my way home. the conversation within the 4 stops was much more than what we said to each other in the 2 years of high school life.. all becaue i didnt juz 'pretend' not to notice the person.. hmm.. something worth thinking about..

all because i read that magazine before i went out.. some topic on feeling lucky and being happy and what not.. and i seldom listen to DJs crap over the radio.. except quan yifeng in UFM100.3 a year ago.. decided to do so again today and oh my.. the DJs are lame. VERY lame.. was laughing to myself while doing SUDOKU.. make myself so happy today.. and i ACTUALLY started talking to some classmates that i'm not too acquainted with... lolx.. and my astrology predictions tell me to smile and smile more today.. make myself happy with small pleasures in life. for tomorrow it's something similar.. well, hope i dun go all frowny again tomorrow.. if not i'll turn into snow white's dwarf grumpy the 2nd. lolx.. =D

1 presentation
1 interview
1 napha
1 portfolio
1 appraisal
1 reflection
1 assignment

All by next Friday.

Pessimism is put to good use recetly.. the attitude gets projects done at a faster rate.

and i still dun understand why it's so difficult for some people to accept putting in more time and effort so that something can be done better..

if u ask me, those who say that they have a simple mindset, or those that dont think complicated, are really the ones who act opposite. people who claim that they dont get worked up coz they keep quiet are those that have a serious peoblem with agression and repression.. well, i used to be one.. repression will ultimately lead to a more serious case of agression..

for goodness sake, juz express urself if u're unhappy. tell pple u're not in the mood to communicate for the day and ask them to leave u alone. i wont be affected. serious. coz i understand that conversing with a bad mood is bound to make both parties miserable. muz as well shut up.

well, it's my kinda weather as usual. consistent good mood. =D and it's good to receive compliments.. coz i feel great. projs tomorrow. Xcross my fingers.X

Has been raining for days.. Love it.. The last time I checked, my mood is pretty good. My friends were complaining that the rain is the cause of their moodiness... This weather is perfect for some relaxation.. Ultimate enjoyment at home.. Somehow, it is able to bring out the lighthearted and calm factors that i cant seem to find in everyday life... the kind of day whereby an insignificant thing like a cup of tea is sheer happiness... and the fact that the public holidays all fall within these couple of weeks is a cause for celebration.. i'm able to sleep in till afternoon... the best thing about the rainy seasons that it seems as if day is shorter than night.. and i love it.. and did u hav a look at the sky? it's blurred and the clouds look as though they're fused together into one big thin patch that stretches across the whole sky... and the rain! oh.. i've a thousand and one things to say about rainy days.. but shall juz indulge instead of boring pple to tears.. and the reason i'm happy AND contented is coz i've finally finished my HTSEM paper.. so there goes another assignment.. next up is APEL reflection AND then the newspaper thingy.. looks like i've finally gotten back my illusion of control.. my very disorganised life seemed to get messed up at a slower rate.. now, even my paragraphing problem makes me happy.. lolx.. there's either sth seriously wrong with me or my mind kanna flu..

Read Tina's blog and did the test she did.. lolx..

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

My mood:
You Are Depressed
No doubt about it, you're feeling very down. Maybe you've had a bad day, or maybe you need help. Either way, make sure to take good care of yourself right now.


You've done pretty well in keeping your reputation protected..
Problem is, no one really knows who you are! You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You tend to always dream of things within reach - and you usually get them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.


true huh... especially the mood part plus the last para.. was online and someone told me to
"just tell every...u know who i am?...im pei jun...so dun mess around"
when i have difficulty getting along with pple...
so now then i know i WAS the boss... but then they ignored me.. lolx..

SCV has never been so entertaining.. Watched SCV for the whole day and i never felt so good slacking.. Ekin Cheung and Gigi Leong ended their 7-year relationship... Well, I must admit he’s good. First is his 12 years relationship with whatever-her-name-is, then 7 years with Gigi... Imagine.. 19 years is not a short period of time… He sort of wasted his youth since the day I was born…

10 hours of TV.. now my neck hurts, and i am now regreting my 'brilliant' choice of time utilisation because i have a semester paper to submit middle of next week.. and the fact that i cannot remember what i watched didnt help to lessenthe guilt.. the only good is that the different programs didnt give me the 'wah.. lousy show, waste my time watching' feeling as compared to some local productions.. so at least i'm guilty of wasting time on a somewhat meaningful activity.

I am in a good mood today simply because it is a rainy day.. calms my disturbed heart and soul.. the best day I have for the past 2 weeks.. i hope the rain wont stop for the whole of January.. so as to keep me in a peaceful and undisrupted environment.. lolx... I promise i'll try not to snap, flare up or irritate pple... but i guess my mood is pretty much out of control since i'm in a PMSy mood and everything seems to juz crumbles and i don't even have the ILLUSION of control, no to mention being organised in my life.. well, i guess things have to go totally haywire in order for me to truly appreciate the good in my life. .okay.. what crap i'm saying again..

got to work tomorrow for the sake of collecting MORE survey foms.. shall try my best to not give the very 'fake' face when facing guests. Seriously speaking, i'm truly disappointed with myself for not having the passion to serve despite being in this industry.. the feeling of having to smile when i'm going thru a rough patch irks me.. and i find myself giving excuses for my behaviour.. but so long as no harm comes out of it, i'm pretty contented faking my 'sociable' self when i have to.. for the sake of working and getting my projects done..

Enliven my life... with aggression..

I read about this somewhere:

"Silence was his escape, but silence is rarely a refuge."

I agree with this totally.. But I do know that it is one of my best survival tools so it is something i cannot do without. 150+ they used to remind me that I don't seem to have any emotions in the past. Not that I changed now, but they've learnt to accept me for who I am. They once suggested that I should try to be more like QY.. when I see them at the MRT station 3 cabins away, i should try to catch their attention by 1)waving frantically so that they'll notice me or 2)keep shouting their names... Sad to say, it's not something that PJ will do.. They know that if they see me doing that one day, it's either 1) the person is not me or 2) PJ has gone crazy..

So they asked for my reactions. 1) no reaction, continue my journey without letting them know my existence 2) use my phone and call them, duh.

Sometimes there's just no point in asking "u're going out ar?" when u see someone outside.. it's the same as asking someone "having lunch ar?" when u see them at the foodcourt or "u're using the toilet ar" when u see them in the washroom... for me, when there's no need to talk, just shut up. no harm's done. keeping quiet beats saying the wrong things.. and i always end up saying something that i dun really mean, wrong tone, or something that pple wont feel happy after hearing.. so i try to act upon this golden rule "There is no need to speak unless i can improve on silence."

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projeciton of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.. Still trying hard.. People don't come to see me be me. They come to see me be them.. and they never once put themselve in my shoes and see from MY point of view.. maybe i can expect people to be more like me...

There are 3 types of people in this world. there are those who have gd PR skills, those who always do PR halfway, and those without.. 150+ belongs to the first grp, JC is in the 2nd grp, and i'm in the last. Being in the wrong course has always been our fav topic for my TP buddies.. we all quite dislike socialising.. Personally, any exchange of information = gossip and can only be done when the correct mood sets in.. like after lunch or during gatherings..

and i hate the feeling of being expected to say something when i don't even feel like speaking..
hasnt been back to the temple to help out since before SIP last year. 2 things i learnt during the period:
1) You can't please everyone so you got to please yourself..
2) Not to walk in other people's shadows..
so just when i've been 'enlightened', i'm not going to compromise just because others are unhappy/dissatisfied with how i behave just because i am who i am..
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sorry Tina, for the endless grumbles this week and a BIG thank you for listening.. and can we set a date somewhere early Feb for Yum Cha with Jo and Eve?
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my conclusion for this week's reflections:
Need to enliven life with more anger.
Aggression is better than repression.

Out of luck today. Printer problem, then i was asked to stand near the lifts so as to 'activate' lifts for guests.. the EAM saw me all over the hotel that he stopped to chat.. on my way home, i took the wrong bus, got to walk for 15 minutes to the nearest MRT station, then kanna splashed by water by a bus.. u know i always thought in TV shows, it seems stupid that a person will get splashed by a puddle of water by the roadside.. and it's S'pore.. i have perfect trust in our drainage system.. that is, until today.. and why am i standing at the spot whereby the water will 'just nice' tio me instead of the lady standing beside me? not to forget i didnt bring my umbrella. and i brought a BIG bag to work today.. i almost fell, not to mention i reached home late. and i only managed to get like 2 surveys done. the targeted number is like 70! by next week.. how am i going to do so if all i have for working for a full shift is 2 pathetic forms? i haven started on my HT SEM paper, haven look at the APEL reflection thingy, didnt even know what to do for portfolio submission.. i think i have to submit 2 portfolios for 2 subjects.. but i dunno which.. k. end of story. bleahz.

a schoolmate from primary 1 to sec 4, lost contact about 3 years ago, started a msn greeting with "jun, u goi to uni or not".. hey pple.. at least have the courtesy to have a proper greeting.. a 'yoz' 'hey' or 'hi' is fine... not start a conversation with a funny qn, especially if u never keep in contact for years.. i was so tempted to juz ignore her message... she said:

"if i online nv tok to u is coz i nv see u online"... i stoned for a moment.. ching.. u shld know who i'm talking abt.. i can try to not irritate her with all my rude replies and such.. i can try to tolerate all her crap excuses... but she gave me the ultimate:

"u are not answering my question... " i can try to accommodate pple's crap.. until they give me this. i am NOT obliged to answer watever qn she has for me..

i am trying hard not to let small things like this affect me.. but somehow i cant... she spoil my day.. first the grp meeting, then this... i dunno what i did wrong the last year to start off a new year like that...

i'm going to bed. NOW.

This is the first entry of 2006.. I have a feeling it's going to be a great year.. better than the last at the very least.. Just because the first book i read got me laughing, twice.. I've long forgotten the last time i did that..

I need to reflect, fast.. so i turn to my favourite..
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Actually i don't think there is a need to blog. Just because of this:
'Can you prove any of the stuff you believe in?'
I know I can't. As in, all i do is to state what i believe, then it's up to others to decide whether what i say is bullshit, or true. Personally i feel stating my point of view is redundant since MY opinions dont matter to others and theirs dont matter to me.. I am not being selfish here by nt wanting to share AND not willing to accept alternative views.. It's just that showing everyone who reads my blog what i think isn't sharing simple becoz it's one-way communication and secondly, opinions change.

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'cave filled with stuff that people will kill for, which only goes to show you how confused people are about important things'
Setting priorities in the new year. Let's TRY not to get MORE materialistic this year (at least i'm trying to). in terms of improvements, look inwards instead of outwards.. for females, try to remember
1) that beauty is the icing, not the cake
2) fashion does not equal beauty, and never to be confused about these two.

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i've tried to be Miss Understanding for so long.. that i realised maybe i've been MisUnderstood all these time... We always fail to kep in mind that what we see isnt what we are and what we were isnt what we are.. I dislike making resolutions.. but i do want to kick the habit of sprouting things that dont seem to make sense after my fingers typed the words out.. watever~