i'm grateful for the ability to express myself.

thankful that humans have emotions..

and i'm lucky that it's the holidays..

以眼看世界, 用心体会, 借文字表达存在.



paradox of life:
so much to do,yet so little time.

No fire will burn forever:
If passion is the fire,

then interest is the fuel and

discipline is the spark.

~心血来潮~

华人真奇怪。
相信轮会, 却又注重扫墓。
清明也许是一个集体哀悼日吧~!
但又或者是个家庭聚会, 还有可能也是个对现代人而言新鲜,异样,有趣,及特别的活动吧。

写这些感触的那一天 - 下雨了。

其实，今天也已经下了大半天的雨了。这种天气最好是能待在家, 窝在被里。要不然，在咖啡座喝着浓浓的咖啡也不错。印象当中，好像每逢到了清明时份，都是细雨纷飞的时候。

这种天气不仅让我想起了这首’诗’:

[清明时节雨纷纷
路上行人欲断魂
借问汉堡何处有
牧童遥指麦当劳]

这是小二时一位同班同学写的。该有十年了吧。想想看其实该用的不是牧童而是保安或阿嬷吧。必竟在坟场和 columbarium 都有保安。阿嬷嘛, 还记得 “带你出来真麻烦, 你只喜欢麦当劳” 这句话吧。~哈哈~

想必不用三思而后“言”是小孩的专利吧。。。

--------------------------------------------------------

回忆似没上锁的宝厢,搁在心里。有时真的能摆放很久,有时却让人三不五时把那宝物反反复复拿出来细心欣赏,一而在再而三的迷失在记忆里。钥匙呢?

要不丢了,要不早把它遗失在哪儿个“秘密基地” 。

想必你看到这里,读得好厌烦吧。就此停“笔”。。。

(来点掌声怎么样?) 谢谢~!

shld i be afraid, or shld i be feared?

Wilbur isnt back yet. the pigsy is off on a holiday trip with Charlotte and i'm here to take over, for the time being.

been arranging memories recently.

that's why i absolutely loathe study week.

i cant watch tv in peace, cant listen to the radio in peace, cant slack in peace, cant even do thingy that i find important in peace. and the culprit is guilt. that stupid useless emotion that shld be eliminated and never seen from the face of this earth again. i sleep at 3 everyday, after watching tv from 7 pm all the way till 3 in the morning.. den wake up at 2 in the afternoon... and i love this feeling of day and night switch.. the worse thing? NO ONE in my family nags at me coz i'm slacking.. that makes the whole guilt thingy worse doesnt it?

spent a long time juz now feeding tortise and fish. that's a long break away from study. and my stupid mind was yelling.. telling me all about survival of the fittest. how funny. bleahz

in the animal kingdom, the only living thing that is not exactly bounded by this rule is human beings. when i mean survival of the fittest, i'm not implying on humans who are sick and bogged down with illness, handicapped or whatsoever. i mean, we AT LEAST have a right to live. but animals? if they're "handicapped", will some organisation come and take charge of its daily needs like food and shelter? will some "society" step in to prevent it from being discriminated and bullied by other members of the "public?" will some "kind souls" initiate a "donation or charity drive" to provide for this weaker and needy "less fortunate?" the answer is NO. a BIG NONO.

maybe u can say we humans have compassion, we have a heart. but dont they?

if they're unable to source for food themselves, they'll die of hunger.
if they're unable to protect itself from harm, they'll die from attacks.
if they're unable to adapt to environmental changes, they're dead.

so, can we question why we're so fortunate? coz humans are the superior beings? coz we've intelligence that cannot be matched by any other? coz we have a mission in life far more noble? coz we're the masters and them the slaves?

U see, we own them coz we WANT them. but before owning them, hav you thought about whether they NEED you or not? will they be happier with species of their own? by possessing them, you are happier. but are they happy? you take away their natural instinct to fend for themselves. and if u're careless, they'll perish, without a doubt. they have NO choice. and without being given a choice, they have no rights. and the degree of comfort they enjoy in life is not by their own efforts, but their owners' love, care, concern, sympathy and whatever u wanna call it and so on...

and without rights, their mere existence is only such that humans can interfere. beginning and ending. the power is in our hands, not theirs. we humans are able to "control" anything from BIG to small. living things- from elephants to amoeba.

and it's scary to know that a million things are under the control of 1 thing. and
me, being part of the 1, am confused.

shld i be afraid, or shld i be feared?

----------------------------------------------------------------

ENOUGH SAID. CHARLOTTE'S BACK WITHOUT WILBUR. I'LL HAVE TO GET OFF. THE LEASE AINT UP YET. SHALL BUZZ OFF NOW!

TILL LATER.

I'm renting out this space.

To Charlotte.

To weave a web...

alone again, naturally

i dragged myself outta bed. not to study, but to enjoy the morning sun.. been quite some time since i last did it. glad i did it again today. i dun mind sacrificing an hr or 2 of my sleep to enjoy the calmness and serenity the morning brings. btw, watching cars speeding by gave me a weird sense of satisfaction, for i am at home doing absolutely nothing and the pple are rushing off to work.

thru the years, it's always been like this. i always find funny things to do nearer the exam period. and i haven started on accounts. the only thing i've done is to READ 4 chapters of POM which i cant even remember. oh well, wat can i say? i still have 5 more days..

back to the topic. i loathe the afternoon scorching sun. but i love the warmth the morning sun provides. it's so reassuring, that tomorrow will definitely be here. it's as if someone is holding u close and telling u not to worry.

went to see my youngest sis. she sleeps like an angel but wakes up full of the devil. haha.. reminds me of me when i'm younger... the orange curtains make her face rosey, and the wind gave the room a light dancing atmosphere. and i sat there like an idiot watching her sleep, thinkin that nothing in the world would be able to give contentment as such.

had breakfast and went back to bed after drying my hair. sometimes i love my bed for being so absolutely cosy and spacious and sometimes i hate it. hate it for tempting me into its arms and giving me the ultimate comfort. just like that, i drifted off to dreamland for a 4 hour journey.

i woke up to find my sisters going out. within 10 mins, the house is empty other than a lone soul. me, alone at home again. so what's the use of having a big family when most of the time i'm alone?

if u're reading this entry, go away.

the exams are coming. hence u'll see more of my "nonsensical creations" so to say, juz like the many past entries that i posted whenever i need to use more brain power.

guess it's the reluctance to start on any of my subjects bah.. as usual, i'm now going into the "watch vcds that i haven been watching for some time" phase.. and thoroughly enjoying myself.

a little irritated coz pple are reading my blog, which defeats the purpose of setting up a blog isnt that so? watching the numbers rise is like knowing that people are invading into your privacy yet u cant do anything abt it.. but who says so? i can always post crap like this and let those pple who have too much time on their hands to read, and save others under draft.. hahahahah...

so if u're reading this entry,
1) u are too free. go find sth to do instead of checking on my blog every now and then.
2) u have no life, juz like me. so u find this "place" a great outlet to waste time.
3) U are a KAPO.
4) u want to know more abt my life so that u can improve on yours. (thanks ar.. for ya compliments)
5) u are keeping tabs on me for watever reasons i am not interested to know..
6) u find it a immense joy to know that u know abt me yet i dunno who u are or what u're thinking about. (let me tell u, i dun hav time to bother abt my own life so i couldnt be interested in urs either.)
7) U are really a fren, keeping check to see if i'm sick, injured or dead or not.
8) seeing me not like my usual self is a source of comfort to u coz that juz means that u're better off than i am.
9) watever that's on ur mind right now..
10) MY BLOG IS SIMPLY TOO GOOD TO BE MISSED!!!

hahahaha.... ditto.. so if u managed to read so far, let me advise u, pls go do other things than take inspirations from other pple's blog abt what they're doing so u can try out k.. be more creative sia. stop going round in circles ar.. find a place to get out!

Ching's day

CHING~!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
may all ya wishes come true.. =)

-------------------------------------

U know, it's amazing how our hearts always detect things faster than our senses.
I spotted a headless chap at the edge of a park,
peering eagerly at the commotion on stage with hidden eyes.
Quickening pace and faking urgency,
i escaped.
Away from the awkward moment of salutation.
For half a second, i almost couldnt believe my eyes.
To think that it's not one of the shabbier times.
But i still fled, from giving myself away.
What a joke. It's all crap. Haha.

------------------------------------

wah.. sometimes the things i say are absolute senseless.
but i still say it anyway. there's no time better than that of blogging.
sorry ching, for putting crap in the same post on ur birthday. seems abit like disrespect sia.. :X
but couldnt help it. was in the mood to crap. :)

btw, time for the daily report. watched HITCH today. i laughed.

left-right-left-right

Marching on the spot
1 cm away from the starting line.
The commander is quiet,
silently waiting for me to
realise that i have to tap once more.
I'm tired. So i dun really know
if i have the energy to
put in that extra effort.

"A Little Chotto"

came up with the nonsense below ytd night, before i went to bed.
Reason: coz i am in no mood to study for the final food hygiene test.
ahem.. here's how the crap goes...

========================================

Go a little further, look a little deeper.
Think a little simpler, save a little trouble.
Surrender a little sooner, embrace a little earlier.
Pop a little anger, cool a little temper.
Patch a little quarrel, smile a little earlier.
Play a little crazier, laugh a little louder.
Speak a little softer, mood a little calmer.
Pick a little flower, live a little happier.
Act a little cuter, seem a little livelier.
Frown a little lesser, turn a little prettier.
Night a little darker, stars a little brighter.
Study a little harder, work a little smarter.
Be a little slacker, indulge a little longer.
Say a little prayer, smooth a little terror.
Dish a little washer, waste a little water.
I'm a little crapper, stop this little bother!

=================================

This is what struck me on a boring night.
Came up with this "A Little Chotto" thingy to live my life by.
was writing with my bedside lamp halfasleep and unknowingly i wrote the dishwasher part down.. although that's crap, i love it all the same.

that's it. From me, to you. =)

"There's no such thing!" she screamed,
refusing to believe what's right smack in her face.
Others shook their heads and left, 2 by 2,
giving up on those who needs more time.
They're just scared, to acknowledge the difference.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

More please, in that mental state.
Before you go, give me a stage.
I want to hear the endless echoing of the encoring.
Then, let ice take over the entire hall.
Cast a spell so nothing thaws.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_--_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

watever~

capped dope

patiently waiting for the 9 o'clock show.. and i'm only at slide number 13 of my food hygiene notes.. alot more to go. slept till 8.. wahahah.. coz of my sis.. told her to wake me up at 6.. in the end she accompany me... when i woke up at 8, i found her in her bed.. haha..

after dinner and some junk food, i'm ready.... to watch a show.. haha.. nt in the mood to study.. anyway, i dun think food hygiene got much to study coz it's all common sense right?

wasnt in the right state of mind today. i've been thru so many presentations yet i'm still SO nervous during presentation. wat's wrong with me? i also dunno..

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

enclosed in the capped head,
in close proximity to memories,
i ran.
away from acknowledgement,
away from bemused thoughts
and struggling sentiments.
away from the hustle and bustle of wat's inside.
towards the seclusion of stillness,
hoping to stay composed
but within it's as clear as anything.
disheveled-ness took over.
wat's inside became wat's outside.
it's as loud as twenty drums playing at the same time.
disturbing, too eye-catching and the thumping..
no wonder blood circulation seemed so highly sophisticated today.
like a boomerang with sharp edges,
it always return to whom who throws it.
leaving only self indulgence in all the wrong things..

ya. blogging again

thanks ar peijun,

for granting urself a free weekend pass to nowhere taking the train of desserts which runs on a backway track. and the stupid bus conductor is an irritating bugger who keeps reminding me that night is falling and a storm is brewing so i got to prepare.

with my lousy character, i ask the conductor to buzz off. indeed, i sense trouble but my watever personality is so dominant that i couldnt even be bothered to check if the windows are working or there are enough blankets to keep out the cold.

the worse news? i forget to buy insurance!

that's some luck!!