watever... long entry. juz skip. wait for the nxt day's post bah. juz some usual grumbles, complaints and wat not...

i used to be patient
i used to be kind
i used to be tolerance
i used to care.

now,
i'm irritable
i'm easily angered
i'm impatient
i'm rude
i'm self-centered
.
.
.

.
.
.

the list goes on and on and on and... ... ... ...

finally POM done... wat's the big deal? the difference between the grp with the highest mark and the lowest mark is 0.5... i knew his marking patterns frm last sem and it didnt bother me.. and if reassurance didnt help, den i think i shld've kept my mouth shut.

as usual, training is my negativity dump. watever.. i can imagine my arrows OUT of the board, 30m.. OUT, way UP... and i simply couldnt understand why the rest of them could hold, peservere, aim, try their best, and go for it. i cant.

always lose control. but it doesnt matter. it's no big deal. i've learn to deal with that feeling of absolute hopelessness. doesn feel gd of course, but that M&Ms help..

tt time i wondered if i have an inferiority complex. now it doesnt seem so. i'm juz inferior.

and, tt short chat wif karene is gd.

we're all looking for short-term happiness. i mean we all want happiness to stay long term but bcoz we know it's impossible, we try to satisfy that desire to be cheerful, to be contented, all these made possible with materialistic posessions. but the thrill of ownership is short-lived. we aim to accumulate these wants so that they can fulfil our ultimate need. and that is, happiness. everything we want. yes, even lasting happy relationships. they are all but temporary.

i know some of u muz be shaking ur heads and thinking "why si this idiot talking crap? happiness matters nt forever but in that moment.." i know it's the "point-in-time" that matters but who doesnt want to be immersed in happiness and indulge in that "out-of-the-world" feeling for a longer period of time?

we want to keep sadness, hurt and negativities at bay but can u do so 24/7?? i doubt so. there'll be a time and place where u let go and juz collasp. or, find an outlet or 2. like her, one of my major outlets is my family. they always get the nonsense and what not. i've said this once and i'm saying it again. i couldnt help it if in this part of my jounrney in life, the need for an outlet exceeds the level of passion i have for this cca. read in the yahoo post. this junior. he claims that he loves archery and would get everything sorted out BUT he has something on so will be missing a FEW more trainings. by then, exams are here and he'll miss more trainings. skipping trainings doesnt matter but what makes me "a little" irritated is that someone claims that he loves something but doesnt have the time to do it. so what is passion WITHOUT discipline? tell me?

pple see archery as a cool sport. i see it as a comfortable outlet to do what i want, regardless of other pple. sometimes i can feel that my attitude irritates them but hello, i cant even control myself. if i could, i wont be there "showing attitude", so to say. and isnt that gd, i feel comfortable enuff to show how i feel and nt hide in one of the masks full of false pretenses..

aiya.. watever.. recently i dunno wat i'm saying or doing. i dunno why i'm explaining. i dun need to explain, but i did. my mind is outta control...

and, do i REALLY look very tired? pple have been commenting yet again that i'm looking very tired. i am.

making assumptions

an example:

You are walking in the mall, and you see a person you like.
That person turns to you and smiles, and then walks away.
You can make a lot of assumptions just because of this one experience.
With these assumptions you can create a whole fantasy.
And you really want to believe this fantasy and make it real.
A whole dream begins to form just from your assumptions,
and you can believe, "Oh, this person really likes me."
In your mind a whole relationship begins from that.
Maybe you even get married in this fantasyland.
But the fantasy is in your mind, in your personal dream.

======================================

The above is what i wanna share.. We only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. We dont perceive things the way they are. We have the habit of dreaming with no basis in reality. We literally dream things up in our imaginations.
Because we dont understand something, we make an assumption about the meaning, and when the truth comes out, the bubble of our dream pops and we find out it was not what we thought it was at all.

That is why whenever we make assumptions, we're asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.

...dreams...

dreams.. do they reflect what's been constantly hanging in our subconscious mind?

i read somewhere, that we only have dreams when we're tired and that when we dream, we wont be able to have quality rest. however, i read also, that we dream anywhere, any time of the day and that dreams merely refect what's been in our thoughts, regardless we notice it or not.

so, tell me. which is correct?

sometimes dreams make no sense. other times they are disturbing... if so, they occupy our waking thoughts and maybe that's what makes us more tired.. i dunno..

what scares me is that the dreams truly reflect what's hidden in my mind. if it's true..... i dun even wanna think abt it..

time is even more frightening... it seems juz like ytd when i was agonizing over trivial matters like whether to go for CCA in sec sch or not. and it seems like tml that i'll be stepping out to the working world and earning a living. it might not seem so scary if i feel more mature. imagine. a kid going to the real world and contributing to the society, work work and more work...

it's almost as if this kinda things only happened in books. maybe coz i feel like peter pan in neverland. i dun feel as if i've matured. mentality is the same, size abt fatter. that's abt all. but my attitude.. took a turn for the worse. that i can feel. maybe that's the only part of me that've matured bah. i'm still who i used to be minus away the the-world-is-oh-so-wonderful innocence... minus away a bit of the naiveness, a little of patience and tolerance, and add a bit of black magic.

i'm tired. talking to myself on a computer is. guess the com's frequency disrupted mine. tt's all.

The smoke in-between

Everything is a mirror.

The smoke in-between is what keeps us from knowing what we are.

The smoke is the dream.

The mirror is you, the dreamer.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

They say:

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see...

I think:

It makes no difference whether our eyes are open or not, for even with sight, we are blinded..
Till the fog is removed, then can we truly see.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

This is the place:

[Engels Zimmer]

we live from moment to moment.

i find myself agonising over decisions, plans and all... for such prolonged time that i guess i missed out all the fun. sometime later i realised how much time i wasted over such insignificant issues that i couldnt even laugh at my stupidity. most things are nt a matter of life and death, tt's wat i learnt. but i'm learning the hard way... things that are unimportant.. are they really? or izzit another perception issue?

half an hr ago, i'm irritated. so frustrated that i'm glad blogger didnt want to publishn that entry for me. so i save time deleting it away... now, i'm back to me.

a few more pple are reading my blog, that i know coz the numbers are increasing..

i dun wanna guess. some things are meant to be. sooner or later. that i know.. so now the past is gone. too bad. i guess at THAT point in time i posted things that i actually thought of the consequences of lettign the person i dun wanna see, see. too late pple. too late. it's gone. unless u managed to read thru the hundreds of entries in a short time.. before they're being axed by me. well, that's me, for you.

and i didnt know my jap can be so hopeless.. today i realised.. speaking and writing both cannot.. i thought my language cannot make it.. english and chinese.. to think that jap too.. after watching so many shows... lolx.. but it doesnt matter. i juz want my 4 CUs...

face value

face value..

service line. do we bank on that? really?

if so, are we all hoping that we'll stop slogging after we reach 35? or 40?

this attachment period, i see 4 kinds of pple.

the first kind are those that really know where they want to go and go all out.
the second kind dunno where they're heading so they end up signing the contract with the organisation or company that still offers them a placement when they give up thought of going for interviews or have considered long enuff...
the third kind of pple are fickle minded. they keep changing goals and all, holding on to more placements than necessary, minimising chances for other students to enter the same company.
the last kind are those who wants to go somewhere, but there are some aspect of them that the org will consider not to offer.

i'm nt trying to say which of the 4 is better.

coz in the end, service is all about 1st impression, meeting guest expectations and all. if 1st impression is nt too gd, den....

to think that pple are so shallow. maybe i am too.

watched THE ROSE... unknowingly, i'm caught... stuck.... again..

my aunts and cousins came over to ym house today. 1st visit from other pple.. been snacking and drinking these few days.. so i'm swearing off carlsberg, pineapple tarts and gambling... to think that i set my mind nt to play with luck this year.. but i succumbed to temptations yet again. my aunt ar.. EVERY year she wins.. no matter where she goes, which seat she sits or what she wears.. can say that she's the sole winner... we didnt play very big.. juz 50 cents, $1 and $2.. yet she can win over $30... in a short time... guess that's life bah.. u cant say that this has nth to do with luck.. we cannot NOT believe in luck coz i've been experimenting for years..

finished the book "there's a hole in my sidewalk" ytd night.. i read some of it before, online, somewhere, before my com was hospitalised.. now they're all gone, i'm glad i found the complete version..

maybe it's time to take out my archives... coz i realised the past is gone and i'm left living in the present planning for the future.. part of the reason why i left it there was that i want pple to see how i've changed over time, sometimes even wanting others to believe in the things i believe in so that i can convince myself that i'm nt the only crazy one out there. sometimes i have the need for someone to appreciate all that i've treasured, i want to share. i want more of pple who are like me so that i dun seem so out.. with me.. the funniest thing? i dunno why i'm saying all these..

i guess that the reason why i'm removing the archives is that i dun want others to become me. it's scary... and part of the reason is that i dun want pple who are involved in my past entries to get upset, angry or insulted coz i said sth that they dun want to see or know.. u can say i'm selfish, i'm afraid that others will use my entries as a tool to hurt me, someway or another.. there is noone to protect me except myself... that i've learnt.

i'm still sharing.. juz that now, it's in a different way.. it's an adapted version...

i'm startignt o feel that blogging is scary.. i'm letting too much of myself for others to know.. and i'm lost in losing myself.. someone help?¿ hey pple.. i found this.. to type inverted ?, do this.. (alt 4264) *wink...

V day is coming... the great 14..

saw pple shopping for gifts for their significant other in gift shops (couldnt be that so many pple JUZ NICE have their birthday on V day right?)... but this year, like CNY, the atmosphere is not there.. by right the feeling shld be sth like christmas, with magic in the air.. this year, i can only feel dust in the air..

i guess one of the reasons is being so close to the chinese traditional yearly festival, pple are busy with the preparations and all so V-day, which comes 5 days after the big day, doesnt hav the priority any more.. with pple dressing up to look nice for CNY, Vday is nth.. (at least that's how i feel)..

once again, i'll spend Vday alone.. i think i BETTER spend it alone.. going out with pple will only make it seem like i am so unloved.. lolx.. although that's nt the case..

so for all those pple who feels terrible coz they dun hav a date or they dun hav plans, happy Vday to you.. take this day as an extended holiday. stay at home and slack rather than go out and stand in line with the couples outside restaurants waiting for seats or cinemas packed with lovey dovey opposites... u wont puke i promise, but i cant guarantee u'll glow like all the others outside.. :)

and WHY muz pple give roses on Vday? of all flowers.. WHY ROSES?? dun tell me it's a traditional thingy and dunno what red roses signifies watever everlasting _____.... there are so many types of flowers out there.. find sth more meaningful can?

and i think wat nelson says to esther is so nice.. broken pencil. although it's abit too____...
anyway, happy vday in advanced..

tina invited us over to her house ytd.. had fun i can say.. but feel abit out of place coz her relatives are there and we sort of take up space only.. but her whole family is very friendly.. so alright.. :)

and to think that i told them THAT! okie... they found out that i nv say much abt tt kinda things but then..... stupid shini!!! she still doesnt wanna say if that's true or not.. and when she told me she got pian jian, i sort of... try to find excuses.. haha.. to protect my memories bah..

i'm so glad i got sth to believe in, sth that i believe so strongly in that's enuff to block out other stuff.. and we all agreed shini needs to find that. if nt everything tt kinda thing happen she freak out den will become vulnerable(i think).. so.. ya.

so long nv hav girls' talk le.. but then the topics we discussed are so out from the jay's concert vcd and the dimmed lighting... haha..

that night, i realised.. how childish i am.. i look up to those who are straightforward. for they are the ones who dare to face things.. even those thatt they fear or doesnt like..

and once again i found the similarities in me and tina..

thanks tina, once again, for having us over and making alot of noise at your house.. :)

this is the slackest new year..

watched vcd until 3 in the morning... woke up at 9..

slept twice today.. haha.. once every 5 hr interval.. for abt 2 hrs each time..

watched initial D (again) at my cousin's house.. while i see relatives tt i only get to see once a year or once evry few years... went to 4 places today only.. 2 of my relatives and my grandparents' place...

daniel chin called.. -_-"'

2 and a half years ago le lor.. and he told me he saw char tt day when she went for interview at fullerton.. his attachment is at fullerton.. and he asked if i know stewart and trevor.. -_-"' so i see.. he's in the SJCC committee... asked if i'm going for the lo hei dinner at panpac this sun.. i'm not.. haha... he asked why, coz char going... muz fax in reservation.. i'm lazy. most of ym frens not going.. dun feel like also.. although i'd like to go back to panpac.. for some reason or another..

totally no new year mood... i dun even feel excited.. maybe i've matured, or that noone is in the mood so i'm one of them.. anyway, every year, without fail, i answer the same few qns.. how old i am, where i'm studying at, what course, wat i learn, and so on... or that strangers that i have to greet comment on who i look like(my mom or dad), comparing me to my bro(who is younger but looks older), how i've grown (like pple will shrink) and superficial comments frm adults from one to another praising each other's kids.. how cleaver, how pretty, how mature, how cute, how sensible, how filial, how... and the list goes on.. i mean, it's gd that once in a year we all try very hard to stop ourselves from saying "negative" stuff but aint those things abit too "positive"? to the extent that i feel like a topic that they use to start off their conversation... and that that's my only use... -_-"'

okie.. i admit.. who doesnt like to listen to compliments? but soaking in those "sweet stuff" will only give me wings and diabetes... -_-"'

and i'm so jealous... my aunt's family is in korea now... i want... :(

anyway, happy new year once again... to all..

much more independent.

went to POM makeup lec alone, without even thinking of arranging to meet up with others.

i realised i no longer become aimless when i am alone in school..

only 4 Hospi yr 2 students turn up for the 9 am lec..

realised i am much more decisive nowadays.. still think and analyse things through but i take less time, much lesser time, and make up my mind sooner. i guess i learnt that stress built-up aint healthy.. once i decide, there is no turning back. that's when i learn how to console myself and infuse my mind with positive self-talk.. that helps... to block outside influences...

meiyin told me sth and thinking abt it makes me realise that it's been a loooong time since i last teared. and to me that's bad coz repressed emotions tend to get stronger. when u express it, the intensed feeling is gone, replaced by a lighthearted mood. at least i guess so...

and i'm going crazy with all the remix chinese new year songs.. i dun mind the classic version.. so ask the others shut up.. it's irritating with a SLOW song playing with fast background music... i'm listening to da di hui chun with techno music.. and it's not nice at all.. it's like a clash of era... -_-"'

ladder ups and downs

u know sometimes when we fall, thinking that once we hit constant velocity nothing will accelerate anymore, anything including the hurt, the sadness, the negativities...

and how naive we all are.. didnt we learn in physics that when sth is free-falling and hits constant velocity, although accelaration is zero, the speed is great..

maybe we cant feel it. maybe we're numb to how fast we're slipping that we are unaware of what's happening..that's when we need a wake up call. a wake up call from heaven..

that's when we "think" the gd things start. they get us going, make our day. but in actual fact, we past by so many other "better things" yet we didnt notice them coz we're busy tending to our wounds and pains, our problems and troubles.. it might not be a fantastic thing, situation or person. it can be juz a sudden awareness of nature, of the little angel talking on our shoulder, a little voice inside you communicating.. it can be sth an actor said, sth u noticed on ur way home, sth that caught ur eyes in school.. it can be anything. and it can also be nothing. that's when we just snap out of "lala land.."

when the happy things lift us up, we climb up the happiness ladder. there's only 2 way u can go on the ladder. up or down. u can choose to climb (up or down), and u can also choose to jump off. that's when u give up, free fall until u decided to grab one of the lower steps of the ladder. once in a blue moon, sth gives u a lift up the ladder, saving ur energy from climbing yet brings u to a better view.. that is when u muz take note never to be complacent and wave to the person below. coz when u do that, u'll lose ur balance and fall. when u're in a better position, it's the best time to lend the person below u a helping hand so that he or she can enjoy the gd view with you.

however, not all gd things stay. when u're enjoying the fresher air on top, taking in the beautiful scenery and enjoying the cool breeze, someone overtakes you, and maybe gives u a push down the ladder. other case maybe such that the same thing that brings u up makes u fall. and when that happens, coz u hav more potential energy, u'll fall faster.

life... up and down and up again. there is no way u can stay in one spot forever. sometimes, u have to learn to let go in order to start anew.. sometimes u hav to hold tight and stop urself frm falling, even if that means u'll be hurt badly.. we learn as we go. we learn as we grow. frm mistakes, frm regrets, frm gd and also from the bad. and if sth greater and bigger topples the whole ladder, accept that it's beyond our control. dun blame urself, others or the world. when that happens, be glad that for once, everyone can start at the same point. from square 1.. =)

happy day... lucky, very lucky..

i'll start my sunday by telling you how happy i am...

maybe it has been a long time since i felt this happy?

field trip to Sing expo today. fell asleep during the presentation and woke up when someone woke me up with some qn which i answer "mascara lah.." and went back to slp.. wat's funny is that i couldnt remember what the person was asking.. but i replied that..

went Changi airport for lunch with ede, tina, esther, jo, hui and eve.. was having so much fun in the perfume shop, den the choco shop.. ended up buying chocolates (as usual) as i couldnt resist... temptation got the better of me.. ~.~

after walking out of that sinful shop, i walked into the natural source where i ended up with a hair product... went back to tampines with Jo, tina and hui. accompanied jo shopping at citigems for a present for her mom... glad we looked old enuff that the salespple were so friendly serving us.. we look old today i guess.. haha.. but that's a plus point.. saw some accessories that i adore but well, wat can i say... haha..

1) i dun need them
2) i have more accessories than i wear normally
3) it's not a small amount of money (i'm not that rich aka i'm broke)
4) there are way too many to choose from

and the list goes on......

went shopping with them end up jo took out this skirt and commented that it's very "me." i bought it.. love the pale green one too but that is abit formal.. IF only i got the money......... the few of them were saying that i'm a purple freak.. and lo and behold... the carrier is THAT colour... talk abt coincidence...

went back to TP after tt.. guess i look out of place on a sat evening wearing that outfit in school... handover today... and i got a prezzie... a puma pencil case.. nt too bad.. at least a change from my usual cordory one..

happiness didnt end that soon.. was waiting for the bus when i saw this VW beetle in plastic blue.. yes, that's the only description of the colour that i can best think of.. it looked soo cute from the usual automobiles on the road, so out of place yet so fun.. and it's not the new VW beetle.. it's the old version.. made me smile all the way home.. haha..

alighted from the bus and when i was abt to step into the lift, the lights came on.. talk abt perfect timing.. felt like some big shot waiting for the spotlights before making a grand entrance.. haha... reached home only to find another gd news.. we're having steamboat at my aunt's house for dinner.. yeah....

having steamboat at her house is the best.. plenty of gd food and most of all her super duper airy living room... so eating that is NO sweat. lolx..

and the best part? my aunt said that she want to intro a very nice chocolate to me and went to take it from the fridge.. guess what? ROYCE!!!! and she "invited" me to finish the whole box.. and it's more den 1/3 left.. so i sat there in the windy living room watching tv after steamboat and fruits and enjoying Royce chocos for dessert.. lolx.. ultimate enjoyment..

was in such a gd mood i offer joss sticks to my great-grandparents...lolx...

was in frenster coz my buddies told me to check on this particular 2 pple.. and realized that….. someone got a similar “who you want to meet” as me… was qiao again..

this is what she wrote:
[im searching 4 nobody but somebody.. anybody but everybody..]

and this is mine:
[the someone who is a noone that can be anyone to everyone.. but i ain't want some noone who is everyone to anyone..]

isn’t it oh-too-similar? Like I’ve seen another me.. lolx.. but it’s not the case.. juz happen to be.. same thoughts running thru 2 persons’ minds at diff time.. u call it coincidence, I’d prefer the word “magic.” Or “miracle” or “fate.” Choose 1..

okie.. I grew like at least 2 kg fatter coz of the over-indulgence…. My cousin said I gained 7 kg.. and I was silently praying not to exceed.. haha.. but for now, I couldn’t be bothered.. all I want, is to indulge somemore and soak in this mood..

i signed the contract with meritus mandarin today.. Ms Pearl Lim was kind enough to let me choose the fine-dining restaurant instead of the suggested banquet and she even throw in the observatory lounge as another option.. in the end she arrange 3 weeks fine-dining 1 week observatory lounge as part of my 1 month F&B overview... many thanks to her..

saffron was real good today, i feel.. especially the main course and dessert. and i like the mocktail tranquility...

heard from lisa that someone wrote bad comments and the feedback form states table 43, which is the table we were sitting... damn it... pls lor.. we only submit 1 commentcard and all gd comments k.. today was good.. we crap sooo much i guess jo wont want to eat lunch with us the next time... dunno which bugger did that or who made the mistake.. but abit pissed coz FINALLY i kept the feedback card from eve they all yet other pple sabo... sian 1/2...

went shopping in orchard since i'm in the area... far east was horrible when it is VERY packed... throughout the whole time, shini was giving a black face when huishan was shopping... in the bus, i juz kept to my book. met meihui on my way home and took the same bus.. apparently, she is upset coz she couldnt get the phone she wanna get today.. the model sold out.. and that is the cheapest price she can find... was chatting wif her downstairs my block when i saw my parents... den in the end i went to admire flowers wit them... -_-"'

FINALLY, MEIT done... next, POM..

after much struggling, i've decided.. to take on Meritus Mandarin's offer.. after all, it's an established hotel... and i have nothing to lose.. the hotel is traditional, but i'm pretty much okay with it.. i guess the pressure of seeing pple editing resume, sending resumes, answering calls, scheduling interviews, rushing for interviews before or after lessons and even skipping lessons... is too much for me.. i gave up.. i took on the easiest route.. i took on the "bestest" offer, so they say. leigh told me that since i nv send Ritz, never send conrad, never send four seasons, never send fullerton and so on, the best is meritus and i got it.. shld juz accpet it and dun waste any time.. i got an interview with panpacific on monday 10 am.. but 1 vacancy, so many pple are fighting for it.. i guess the more i think, the more i guess it's not worth my time to go down for the interview.. i think i can survive not seeing those pple for the rest of my life.. after all, i'm only after the experience.. i dunno.. trying to be optimistic here.. pple are telling me i'm fortunate and i kinda agree with them.. so i'll grab opportunities before they pass me by.. learning.. from mistakes... to seek... a better... tomorrow.... :) actually posting entries in a huge big paragraph is nice.. i love the messiness, if there's such a work, and the disorder, and the unorganized thoughts, plus the head-shaking reaction pple get when they see such a BIG paragraph and dun bother to read all.. love it all.. haha..

now all i have to do is to wait for the reply..

and i saw the uniform on the calander.. it sux actually.. but no matter where i choose to go, pple have sth bad to say so i shall leave everything for myself to see and experience before i take in their nonsense.. anyway, we are separate individuals...

captain for the day in saffron. 43 pple very nice.. they were so neglected by me yet they nv complain.. haha.. i almost dropped the teaspoon coz the teapot too hot.. that cursed table AGAIN. i swear i'm never gonna serve coffee OR/AND tea to that seat again. ever.

i dun get it.. that place is air-conditioned yet i was emiting heat. nervous? maybe.. but it's so warm at the area.. maybe it's near to the kitchen that's why.. some CMM pple came for some photoshoot in saffron.. darren, ching's fren still remembers me.. he said hi.. i was pretending that i dunno he was there coz ltr he cannot rem den paiseh..

skipped the guest lecture by that "pple say he shuai emmanuel." watever.. last yr attended his lec.. gers going gogo-gaga over him.. he'll be touching on similar topic as last yr so i skipped.. finally! a lec that i WANT TO skip and skipped.. haha..

went meritus mandarin for interview.. met anthea while crossing the road over to cine.. she told me she signed the contract le..

AND I AM ACCEPTED!! the lady interviewed me for abt an hr.. was soooooooooo "focused" on my personality profile and analysing my behaviour giving comments ever so often.. and advice.. lolx.. she told me that i appear a little uncomfortable so shld take note of my body language for the next few interviews.. told her i want to try Front office, reservation, guest relations, F&B, and even housekeeping... she was like.. u sure?!!! den she told me cannot coz time way tooo short.. in the end i chose 5 months Front office, concentrating mostly at receptioon while having the overview of reservations, business centre and so on.. den 1 month at F&B.. she told me F&B either fine-dining, coffeehouse or banquet.. haha.. i thot i wasnt accepted, coz of my personality profiling.... in the end alright leh.. she told me got pros and cons.. need to take note.. haha.. my eyes got a little tired after maintaining eye contact for so long.. den startng to roam ard the room.. maybe tt's y she said i look a little uncorfortable.. and maybe coz i was leaning a little bit in front coz her voice quite soft.. i WAS uncomfy.. haha.. but overall gd interview experience.. told her i'll get back to her latest by next fri.. haha..............

tml is hangout hotel!!! emily!!! let's see if i hav the same luck...

and ya.. the lady told me somethings are not a matter of life and death so i got to learn to let go.. and i dunno why in the middle of an interview the interviewer will say such things.... but so many pple told me that so it couldnt be wrong right?