watched THE ROSE... unknowingly, i'm caught... stuck.... again..

my aunts and cousins came over to ym house today. 1st visit from other pple.. been snacking and drinking these few days.. so i'm swearing off carlsberg, pineapple tarts and gambling... to think that i set my mind nt to play with luck this year.. but i succumbed to temptations yet again. my aunt ar.. EVERY year she wins.. no matter where she goes, which seat she sits or what she wears.. can say that she's the sole winner... we didnt play very big.. juz 50 cents, $1 and $2.. yet she can win over $30... in a short time... guess that's life bah.. u cant say that this has nth to do with luck.. we cannot NOT believe in luck coz i've been experimenting for years..

finished the book "there's a hole in my sidewalk" ytd night.. i read some of it before, online, somewhere, before my com was hospitalised.. now they're all gone, i'm glad i found the complete version..

maybe it's time to take out my archives... coz i realised the past is gone and i'm left living in the present planning for the future.. part of the reason why i left it there was that i want pple to see how i've changed over time, sometimes even wanting others to believe in the things i believe in so that i can convince myself that i'm nt the only crazy one out there. sometimes i have the need for someone to appreciate all that i've treasured, i want to share. i want more of pple who are like me so that i dun seem so out.. with me.. the funniest thing? i dunno why i'm saying all these..

i guess that the reason why i'm removing the archives is that i dun want others to become me. it's scary... and part of the reason is that i dun want pple who are involved in my past entries to get upset, angry or insulted coz i said sth that they dun want to see or know.. u can say i'm selfish, i'm afraid that others will use my entries as a tool to hurt me, someway or another.. there is noone to protect me except myself... that i've learnt.

i'm still sharing.. juz that now, it's in a different way.. it's an adapted version...

i'm startignt o feel that blogging is scary.. i'm letting too much of myself for others to know.. and i'm lost in losing myself.. someone help?¿ hey pple.. i found this.. to type inverted ?, do this.. (alt 4264) *wink...