Tuesday, October 25

3 more days to the end of MY attachment.. FINALLY.. after 27 weeks..

haven been updating since last week due to the split shifts that cause the long working hours..

so, i celebrated my bdae (again) with Eve, Jo and Tina.. Thanks gers.. the cake was delicious and the prezzie a surprise (raise eyebrows). =P definitely made my day especially after kanna scolding by the mngr during the brunch..

today, work = tired. work 4-12 but i get to go off earlier to catch the last train. speaking of that, i am so lucky to NOT miss the last train at somerset for like 4 times within the past 3 weeks.. thanks to the one staying upstairs, or whoever(whichever, watever) it is..

did abt 50 pax for dinner, rev abt $5000. the turnover for today was so fast that i felt overworked. the table left, i clear, reset, then the host bring in new guests.. it's like never ending work and endless guests... there's 2 guests who came for CRABS! i was like o_O"'.. so we don't serve crabs unless it's the Sunday champagne brunch, which is a sky-high price for high-tea.. so the guest asked for their bill, which comprised of beverage order only. one S'pore sling, one beer and an evian water totaled to abt $45.. i was going like dots.dots.dots.dots.dots.dots.dots... you have to kill me to ask me to pay 45 bucks for water.

and i was so shocked, not becoz guests didnt tip, BUT HE GAVE A 5 CENT COIN! guests from LONDON give 5cents as tips.. *shrug
another dots.dots.dots.dots.dots... but i guess tiping was gd today.. definitely more than $35 for my station.. at the rate we're going, i PRAY HARD that i get like $25 for my next tip.. that'll end off my SIP nicely.. coz $25=1 day's pay=8 hours work=12 hours at the hotel.

Tuesday, October 18

Being given the freedom to do what i want to do.

Basically, i spent more than half of my birthday sleeping.. then waking up doing whatever i like, for example slacking and doing things in MY speed. Today is as eventful as any other day in my life, just that i can sort of sense this sentence running thru pple's mind 'No kidding. she really got NO life.' so FYI, i have a life as real as u do, and the same number of hours to spend each day as u are entitled to. just that i'd rather spend it in a different way..

whatever it is, i find that it's a great day. fabulous weather (rainy), peaceful (with occasional rumbling of thunder), normal. It's kind of a strange feeling, knowing that even though it's supposed to be MY special day, the world stops for no one. not even me and simply because of this, i embrace this wonderful feeling even more.. sitting by the window, with a nice cup of coffee, taking in whatever that's coming, feeling calm. that's what i call contentment and how i derive happiness.

[I think i'm probably avoiding something pretty big in my inner life because I am keeping pretty busy]
It's not the quantity of life (not the many parties u have to go to, not the many celebrations and countdown events u got to attend, not the many pple you die die must meet..) but the quality of life.. This, is what i live by.

[The more enlightened we become, the more we can't be lived up to by anyone anywhere.
The more we learn, the more we'd better expect to live by ourselves. ]
so maybe this explains why i'm still single? lolx.

[Age is a matter of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.]
"Done."
"Done already?"
"I guess I wasn't paying attention."
-Everything happens so quickly, I feel sad to have missed it.

This, I wrote at the page of the last month of the year and it is exactly how i felt, feel and feeling.

So, before i end off this last post on my birthday, i have ONE question for anyone who's reading this.

"Am I independent?"
I can't believe it. It's 18th Oct today!! I'm actually 19 years old!!

Only a handful of pple remember my birthday. So many thanks to those who do. For the rest, i can understand that to you, it's just another day of the year..

I wanted to get myself something but couldn't determine what YET.

My dad asked me what i did for the past year. After serious consideration, I guess the only thing i did was to age. Ageing gracefully is my aim but i doubt i achieved that. Pa told me that i'm still not sensible but he failed to realise that as i get older, the younger i behave. I'm desperately trying to relive my childhood..

Recently, i've been spending alot. Regular trips to coffee outlets is creating a big hole in my pocket but i'm having the best of time at this moment. Partly it's the start of the 'cool & rainy' season, partly it's my birthday period and also because attachment is coming to an end.

Wasn't expecting a miracle but at least i hope to get lots and lots and lots of well wishes. BUT... i realised (KNOW) i have limited friends.. Not really a very sociable people person.. So ..since young, my gd frens can be counted with both hands.. So it's only a dream. How i envy those pple who are remembered, especially on their birthday.. It means that they are important enough in another person's life such that even something as personal as birthdate is being taken note of.

Don't ask me what my birthday wish is. coz i dun have one. I'm too thankful for this life in this family that i have nothing more to ask for. It'll be a sin to want something more than what i already have. Talking about it, i have yet to thank my Mom for giving birth to me 19 years ago.. have yet to thank my dad for being more understanding and loving each year. Have yet to thank my siblings for accepting me for who i am.. and to whoever's-staying-upstairs for creating the bond that makes my family and i related by blood in this lifetime.. I KNOW i am lucky. I AM thankful for being so blessed, and seemingly getting more blessed by the year.. Or maybe i'm learning how to appreciate better..

Don't really have much to share this birthday. Last year i got so much to say but this time round, i guess the best thing to offer is silence.

Sunday, October 16

ending 18

celebrated my birthday in advanced with my family today.

went to Lee Hwa and then bought a purple gold ring. Singapura for cold crab and honey pork ribs. then bought some face care products(coz i think i need it) and also a top plus a skirt.

total spending:
ring= $433
dinner= $180
products= $180
clothes= $50
------------------
total= $843

last year was cruise as a birthday treat. this year this. how lucky can lucky be? and how blessed am i?

thaks to alv for the gift. received it today. =) thanks for remembering (though it's a countdown to 28th oct)...

2 more days to the end of it all. to the end of 18.
i'm gonna rain someday.. soon. before the end of it all. empty out so that there's space.. finally... and make myself a happier person..

laughter and more laughter.
birthday prezzie!! purple gold ring.. from my parents.. together with a meal at Singapura (cold crab, pork ribs!!) and some clothes... ^-^v Posted by Picasa

Friday, October 14

dying to share.

4) I'm an old lady who has known a great many problems, most of which never happened.

6) She glared around the whole scene of the place: dead and dreary, while falling leaves tried to cover the darkness, thy gave up and only followed the winds. It cetainly matches my mood.

15) Yesterday could have been the day before yesterday, or vice versa. I'd sometimes wonder what kind of life this was. Which is not to say that I found it empty. I was, very simply amazed, at the lack of demarcation between the days. At the fact that i was part of such a life, a life that had swallowed me up so completely. At the fact that my footprints were being blown away before i even had a chance to turn and look at them.

16) Time was just a meaningless number with no attachment to events.

44) Being indecisive. Look backward and forward and you'll realise the one place you don't want to be is in the present. You need a chance and you're running out of time.

45) There's something about me that pushes people away. Something that makes them look away.

~NOT the end~
today is the 13th.. meaning i have 17 days more to the end of my attachment. minus the 3 OFF days and 4 annual leave, i have 10 days more. ONLY 10 days more to go.

frankly speaking, i seriously need to get a life besides counting down to the end of my SIP.

---------------------------------

partner with andy and fay at station 3 today. basically, i did minimal tasks since it's my 1st time doing 'outside' job for the full shift. did lobster bisque for table 21 today. 1st time doing the soup. the guests were so amazed that they clapped. i think i'm getting the hang of flaming the pan so much so that i have this feeling of not letting the flame die out. lolx. okie dorkie. back to what i really want to say...

--------------------------------

5 more days. or izzit 4 more? i'm so NOT looking forward to whatever's coming. what do pple usually do on their birthdays? eat? eat and eat? or maybe i should sleep, sleep and sleep.

the last time i felt this empty was a few years ago. last year was the cruise trip. this year? nth.

i have so much to share.. but all in chinese. for the past week, i've already read like 8-10 chinese books. more to go. this is the best time for me to polish my language skills, mother tongue especially..

-------------------------------

pple asked if i'm from CHINA, again. when i said no, they asked if i'm from vietnam. no again. thai. no again. they got this amazed look on their faces. "you mean u're a LOCAL?" i felt like rolling my eyes in front of them and saying 'ar then?

Monday, October 10

Veuve Clicquot champagne brunch is on every Sunday, for $105+++ per pax.

So the media is invited, the marcomm pple, and SOME guests.. meaning, paying guests amount to less than 10. i 'pop' so many champagne.. that i felt kiddishly happy.. the kind of yeah-i-have-a-new-candy-feeling.. the amt of champagne pple drink.. by the end of 2 and ahlaf hours, i counted 17 empty champagne bottles in the kitchen, and more to come.. so i estimated it's abt 20 bottles..

FINALLY, 1st day out at the station. together with our dear Ahmad. 1st day working with him and i'm going *pengz. i dunno whether there's sth wrong with me or him.. he got to repeat, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat.. so much so that i felt as if i was listening to a tape that is jammed...

this table of 4, was nice and polite. they courteously ask for help when they need, thanked us for the food and everything, and even left a $10 tip. but i didnt get it.. another table told us they had a wonderful time and the food was delicious.. so much so for a happy day huh..

the best is yet to come..

i did flambé today!!! twice!!! pepper steak!!! haha.. 1st time round someone got to help me flame the frying pan.. second time round i need NO help.. and was SOOOOOOOOO proud of myself for able to lit the whole wok and pple saying 'wow', then 'ACT' as if i very pro, add brandy and red wine and and mustard and what not.. then flaming the pan.. haha.. gd experience for me. now that i know how to do this, next target is crepe suzette!! haha.. last time tasted the sauce my colleague did and was going- wow~ i want my turn.. haha..

3 weeks is like so fast.. i'm left with 3 whole weeks. minus my AL and off days, i'm left with like 2 weeks only.. to think that half a year ago, my attachment seemed like forever..

i'm lovin' the place more and more.. and the split shifts are giving me hell coz i dun have enuff sleep, but slightly extra cash coz there is a small allowance for everyday that i work split.. in other words, they are paying me to read books in the library.. coz that's where i usually go if i dun have any outing with friends.. great(job+pple)=happy PJ/K

Friday, October 7

felt like forever since the last time i blog. anyway, time is just a word we use to gauge and indicate the passing of age...

i was asked if i come from China(hainan or shanghai), Thailand, or Malaysia. and pple kept asking me what university i'm from when i told them i'm still schooling. and i dun understand why they cant get over their initial shock of me being a local, and that i am under 20 years old. O-K-A-Y. i got an oriental face. that's why i'm in mandarin!

i dun think it's necessary to explain my family background to them and that my grandpa is a China chinese.. maybe that's why i'm being raised in a VERY traditional family-oriented family. very traditional to the extent that the "ranking" system is still in place. respect for the elders is a must and EVEN for opening a fridge, we have to ask for permission.. that was when we were young. my sis still used to do it last year. so maybe that's why i dun really fancy cold stuff.. coz behind that indulgence, comes a price...

----------------------- enuff of crap.. more to come..

got thru my 4th day at Top of the M... on my 2nd day there, i saw this wedding proposal.. so sweet.. the guy arranged for a bouquet of 99 roses to be sent and kept by us before he arrives, then the service staff will present the flowers to the lady before the meal.. the band on duty played "tonight i celebrate my love" and he knelt down and ask the question.. the lady said 'yes'. that scene put me in a great mood the whole evening.. and another guest was saying that he celebrates his 39th birthday 39 floor in the air.. coz the restaurant is on the 39th floor..

the restaurant is lit mainly by candles, and some dimmed lights near the entrance.. it's practically impossible to see the table numbers, especially when the number tag is about the size of half a passport photo and hidden behind the salt and pepper shaker.. so as a runner, most of the time, i have to walk round the restaurant in order to get to the correct table. and did i forget to mention it's a revolving restaurant? lolx.. the feeling of coming out of the kitchen and seeing different guests is so cool.. everything's so nice... the view from the highest point in the middle of singapore.. working in such an environment puts me in a very good mood, daily.. great scenery, happy guests, fantastic soothing music played by the band and most importantly, no crowd and passer-by.. even the split shift cant deter me from enjoying my training thoroughly.. the 4-5 hours break in between my shift i change and go to orchard library for some peace and quiet.. indulge in some music and a good book in a cosy corner..

broke 2 sauce dishes and stupidly used my hand to pick up the broken pieces.. the chefs were looking at me as if i'm an idiot and they reminded me to use a broom for goodness sake, in case i cut my fingers.. for a moment i dunno what i was doing.. so suddenly this song came to my head.. (jay chou) "... xiang ku, lai shi tan zi ji ma bi le mei..."

i'm tired.. so tired after waiting for 10 days for this off day that i slept for 14 hours.. woke up at 3 today.. the feeling of not having to be at Meritus for 14 hours each working day is cool.. damn those 10am-11 pm shifts.. but i'm haing fun.. if i could only minus the 5 hours in between..

tomorrow is saturday.. that means i'll be overworked coz SINGAPOREANS will be out, trying the new hi-tea menu at a discount..

dining at the restaurant is ex.. so ex that i can never imagine myself there.. 4 pax paying $1400 for a dinner.. how cheap can that be? that is like, my 10 weeks' pay!!

life in soft hues.. the warm fuzzy feeling.. fly me to polaris..

Tuesday, October 4

[Don't fear any changes that are ahead, .. Even if you think you don't adjust too well, you have far more adaptability than you realize. Without change, life would become stagnant and lifeless. It wouldn't be long before you became dissatisfied and bored with the same old thing. Try to see change as an adventure and a gateway to greater happiness and fulfillment in your life. Trust more in your versatility, as well.]

haha... my astrology prediction for today..

andsth for this month:
[Lucky you, Libra, because this month a new beginning is possible. This is your favorite time of year anyway but now your life is about to take a turn in a new direction that is full of excitement and in alignment with your values...]

so true huh.. my fav time of the year with high rainfall.. and the pple at Top M is certainly woring hard and it's fab seeing everyone giving their best..

[The middle of the month will allow some of your dreams to come to fruition. Watch October 17 to 22 when the Full Moon Eclipse and other astrological transits trigger events that will have a significant effect.]

.. hmm middle of the month huh.. i'm so looking forward to it..

split shift today.. i work from 11 to 11.. actually it's 11-3, 7-11.. so i have a 4-hr break in between.. didnt thought that split shift working hours are so easy to pass.. the pple are great.. and i felt so stupid keeping my annual leaves till the last department.. no wonder all of them love that place.. i'm only a noobz there and i love it.. compared to Front Office, this place is like HEAVEN. i'm the one and only trainee there.. the NEWEST servie staff has been there for half a year.. so i can just ask ANYONE if i have any questions.. and it's so easy to talk to them compared to FO. it's the 1st time i speak so much dialect during working ours to pple that i met for the first time.. easy going pple who love their jobs.. maybe that's what attracts me.. i dunno.. they all seemed so eager to serve, so willing to help.. that i cant help liking the job.. and in just ONE day, i see the difference between the different departments.. from the i-see-guests-queuing-but-i-tried-to-act-busy-and-hopefully-if-i-dun-look-up-they'll-go-to-other-counters--face compared to yes-sir-is-there-anything-i-can-help?-i'm-glad-to-be-of-service-- face..

MEIYIN.. i'm sooo happy i'm there lor.. the pple are nice, can crap.. haha.. so lucky i didnt shorten the training by alot.. no wonder all of u cant bear to leave that place.. now i now why u feel so lost on ur first day at recep.. i can imagine IF i started off with F&B first, then go to recep.. sure blur! haha

tomorrow 10-11.. haha.. even longer working hours.. :) can finish an entire book by the time i start dinner shift! target: to finish reading 10 chinese books by the end of my attacment!

Sunday, October 2

last day under front office.. elated? you bet.

sat was horrible, today nightmare.. i've enough walking for a week. i hate celebrations at south tower. especially BIG functions that has an estimation of 620 pax! today a guy called Peter Sng celebrated his 60th bdae, inviting 500 pple!! wth lor.. why muz he announce to pple that he's old?

i've been walking, walking, walking, walking and walking.

seriously speaking, they shld build a travelator all the way from the main entrance to the south tower. and i have to 'escort' these grp of pple to the other tower.. imagine they kept coming in 2s.. damn it. cant they come in groups of 30 or more each time?

finally, no more 'training' as a doorgirl. i overhead this lady saying to her husband "i've never seen a lady opening doors before!" i dunno if i SHLD feel honoured being called a 'lady' or i shld feel sad coz pple see me as a door girl.

plus i really dun understand why s'poreans are so damn rude when I open the door for them and they cant open their precious mouth and say 'thanks'. will this kind gesture kill them? they look at me from head to toe and walk off. always like that. everytime they do that, i ahve this feeling that they percieve me as a secondary school drop out, no qualifications so i have to resort to doing this kinda 'low class job' that they would NEVER want THEIR kids to do. sometimes i wonder ar.. why do i study so much, get such good results, juz to open doors and say 'hello, gd morning?'

putting in so much effort juz to open a damn door and no one appreciates it. walking so much to escort guets to where they wanna go but no one sees it. the management only see what they wanna see. so they're always there when we juz happened to stand ard and chat, they always happened to be there when i'm so damn tired i dun feel like moving yet i have to drag my feet to help guest, put on that ever plastic face and greet them with a spirit so enthusiastic that i'll puke if i can see myself.

what this service world has become.. tomorrow is top M day. will update more.. 29 more days. 25 more working days. 21 more days to go minus my AL. that means, i only have 3 more weeks to go. official 4, actual 3. ending soon...

Saturday, October 1

i'm scared to move on, yet i don't want to be stuck at the same place forever.

i'm so tired i don't know what to say, and don't feel like speaking.

8 hours of standing is nothing provided it doesnt have any side effects..

2 more days to a new department.

good luck.