Rushing or Resting? Many things may not be what they seem to be.

Many people may think that I am so laidback in my day-to-day life that the word indifferent is no longer suffice to describe my attitude.
To many others, I am rushing through life as if there is no tomorrow, making it clear that I have no intentions to slow down and take a breather. Don't ask me "rushing for what sia" because everything I do (or we all do) have a reason, even though we might not know it. So now that I've got my thoughts sorted out (some of them anyway), I’ll be 'documenting' them before I forget and also for the benefit of those who have been confused (or maybe not).

Basically, I've a slack personality. If everything can be put till tomorrow, I'll do so as I believe in living life to the fullest (meaning ENJOYING day by day) and partly if tomorrow never come, my duties and responsibilities never come as well (I wont have to do my work ever again. It's a selfish thought but well.. )…

Precisely because of this very relaxed attitude of mine, I've been through so many ~whatever~ days. So heck care that nothing matters so everything is no big deal. After a prolonged time, I realized I'm always feeling tired and that no matter how long more I slack, I never seem to get enough rest. So the most logical thing is to WANT to slack around more due to this odd weariness that is unidentifiable. Hence, I gave myself many a long holidays, to rest and rejuvenate (so call). However, no matter how long I take a break (no matter where I go, what I do), I don't have the feeling of comfort, peace, energy and liveliness.

So as usual, PJ waved this problem off as crap that she normally thinks about. Until I realized that for a person who is already resting, how can I rest more? It's as in I use white chalk and draw on a piece of white paper, totally not able to see the difference. Hence my conclusion is IF I want to have a proper, GOOD rest, I must first make sure my life is not in 'resting' mode all year round.

And I did it. My 'rushing' days are so, because I take into considerations that my 'resting' days are able to compensate. I am not rushing through life or school. I am just preparing myself for better quality rest in the near future. =D