Thursday, July 1

CRAP TOPIC AGAIN.. MIND WANDERS, FURTHER AND FURTHER, INTO A PLACE CALL ETERNITY..

in life, things somehow juz dun go the way we want it to..

mr nair, my APEL teacher, was asking us abt wat we'll want or think when we're on our deathbed or if we know that we're abt to die.. nixon said that he'll asked for 3 wishes, use 2, den wish for another 3 wishes for the last one..

1st thing to come to my mind: i'll regret the things that i've regretted in the past..

i dunno y.. but after tt, these words kept flashing in my thoughts.. i guess it's true that somwtimes, when we regret certain risks that we didnt take, certain decisions we made, certain mindsets and beliefs that we hold fast to, and didnt realise that these made up part of our lives and determine who we are today..

as humans, we often wondered what we'll be NOW IF my decisions in the PAST were different.. and more often den not, we'll tend to be unhappy coz we WANT TO know how it feels like IF we took another path LAST TIME..

but have u ever look at this in a diff light? WHAT IF we took the other way.. will we still be like that? wondering the consequences and results we'll get IF we chose the other choice(sorry.. cant think of any substitute for choice)? YES we will.. coz we humans are funny.. we often wonder abt the things that didnt happen to us, even if what and where we are now is satisfactory to us.. we'll go further and tend to force ourselves into the wat-if-the-other-option-gives-a-better-outcome-den-the-one-i'm-having-now trap??

funny isnt it? because we have never been thru it, that's y we WANT TO try out? or is it becoz we have unlimited wants, therefore even if we somehow met our objectives in life, we still tend to want more and think that something better is definitely out there..??
isnt treasuring the present more impt than anything and everything else?

i dunno.. maybe we are simply unable to fill up the emptiness in us.. maybe there's something in us that's like a pot with a hole in the botton.. that's y it can never be filled.. that's y we can never be satisfied for long.. isnt that so? even when we're basking in happiness, after awhile, we'll tend to look ard us, and come to this ever-standing dunno whether it's true conclusion that others are definitely having a better lfie den us.. haha.. wat a joke.. i'm amazed by human's vast intelligence and limitless stupidity.. why on earth would we be like that?

historically, we humans evolved from apes, and since we have this funny mentality, does the ape family have it too? i'm toking abt the chimpanzes getting jealous over the monkey and the monkey going green with envy over the gorilla.. sth lidat.. or maybe they operate on a diff kinda environment.. maybe the whole grp prefers to be like the elephants? or the hippo? i dunno.. maybe they are.. coz the elephants are made to piggyback kids.. maybe they hate that, and prefers to be captured on camera coz they think that they deserves to be on film coz they're more photogenic den the monkeys.. and maybe the monkeys are bored with the flashlights and having to put their arms over lotsa strangers all day and longed to juz lazed ard in the dirty water like the hippos? where pple most prob shun coz the area is too smelly? so that pple wont come and disrupt their slacking life?

i dunno.. wat a boring day.. taken a nap le.. done half of my work for tml.. dun think will be going to PPCC later.. that'll eman that after lec tml, i have to rush home, den get ready with lightning speed, den somehow "fly" to PPCC.. but nvm.. that's the price to pay for having lessons on wed..

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