middle of the night!

remember this quote from mother theresa, since some teacher told me in secondary sch. sth like this:

[Give until it hurts, until you feel the pain.] then that is giving..

the example and quote i'll remember for life.. a comparison between a rich and a poor person.. the poor person earns like maybe $20 a day and yet he gave $10 to charity, leaving juz enuff for his expenses.. another rich multimillionaire, gave the same $10.. in contrast, the poorer one is really showing/ displaying the spirit of giving..

like i say, it's an example.. change the figures abit, the underlying meaning is still there..

the 9 pm channel 8 show "hai you ming tian" has an unexplained impact on me.. it makes me wanna give more to the society, help those who really needed help.. it's not like those stupid nonsense and unmeaningful tcs shows that is full of romance and quarrels.. this show makes pple think and wanna do their part for those less fortunate, at least to me that's the case..

giving till it hurts.. giving till it hurts.. till i feel the pinch.. that's really meanigful.. maybe to some pple, that's crap.. juz some way to so call "cheat" pple of their money by donating.. budden.. it somehow has that impact on me.. i dunno y.. it's juz a show.. juz another of the mediacorp shows.. y am i so affected? and it's not like i watched every episode.. i missed the whole of season 1.. it makes me want to help them, want to know them, want to lessen their pain, want to share their sorrows, want to make them happy, want to improve their lives..

and i ask myself this very simple qn: "am i able to do it?" and i know the answer.

i couldnt explain y out of so many things the teachers told me in high sch, the thing i remember clearest is this. not any of the sciences, not english, not SS, not chinese, not maths and certainly not geog.. y this? i ask myself..

when i read the newspapers sometimes and happened to see an article regarding pple needing money to help their family member raise medical fees, i often wonder.. how many kind souls actually did, or helped in some way.. and does the doctors and nurses ever donated part of their salary to the fund to help these needy pple?

and sometimes, i wonder y god is so unfair.. there're pple who're born healthy but die young.. yet he gave life to those unfortunate ones who're born handicapped or sickly, yet make them suffer for years.. y is that so? y is this so unfair? y there can never be equality for all mankind? y muz the world be classifies into diff categories like 1st world and 3rd world countries? y muz some pple be looked down upon whereas others muz be treated wif due respect? y is this so?!!

u know.. we often hear pple say that kids are juz so full of life.. suddenly, i got the urge to bring them to the hospital and take a good look at those kids fighting hard juz to live.. and those who're diagnosed with some terminal illness and all they can do is to wait for death.. and the look on their families' faces.. and the atmosphere and all..

when can i ever do my part as a being in this world to help those that needs assistance? and how can i contribute to making the lives of others better? i know that contributing to the nation is impt, but yet again, contributing to mankind surpass all things doesn it? oh well, the SJAB motto pops up :service to mankind.. how many of us are actually able to do it? how many mother theresas are there in the world? how many of those pple are out there doing all that they can in order to restore hope in those pple who's given up long ago? and how many of us are sitting ard, living our own lives and not giving a damn abt others, thinking that we're already very unfortunate and shld let those "more fortunate" aka richer pple help? and how many of us are juz like me, thinking and pondering.. but actions speak louder than words.. that we all know.. but who's taking the initiative to actually take the 1st step in "beautifying" the ugly world?

this sets me thinking abt the pass-it-on campaign.. the bring it forward deed thingy.. how many of us "commoners" are actually actively practising it? how much money have they spent on advertising? and y cant they juz donate them for better cause? we all KNOW that we muz do gd deeds.. but how many of us actually cares abt it?

a gd deed is done when u're not consciously aware of it. it is an instinct.. and how to instill instinct in us? it's definitely not by advertising. it doesnt help.. coz i'm not convinced.. if we deliberately do sth nice for others so that we can fell gd abt doing it, then i think the whole thing loses it's purpose..

omg~ it's getting late.. gotta turn in liao.. shall blog another day, provided if i got more crap stuff to write..