mom asked me to take the basic highway code a few days ago, when i'm of age.. suddenly i realised tt i've no interest in that. i dun want to. i juz dun want to.

have been think about stuff and i realised that i may well be the kind of person that i try to shun, as well as the kind of person my friends dislike. was chatting with viy over lunch a few days ago and we commented that hospi pple are juz so fake and today, another fren brought up the boot-licking issue that she observed (or rather we agree on) abt hospi pple.. and well, we're all at the losing end.. maybe not. all hopes are not lost, YET..

i noticed certain unmistakable "traits" in some hospi peeps that i nv really see as dominant in pple of other courses.. but true enough, this course that i am in requires us to be lidat.. a mould that we have to try and fit into.. those unfortunate ones outside of the mould would be trimmed away, sooner or later..

was telling them wat i feel.. those pple that can "pai ma pi" will get to the top sooner, but it's the ones that do their jobs well that will stay at the top.. anyone can get to the top. and fate isn the only factor that determines who get to stay..

i used to think that if u have a nice peresonality (seemingly) with a great attitude to serve, u'll definitely do well in the service sector.. and now lets see.. almost every job is part of the service sector.. or shld i say all? our existence are such that we affect one another, whether u like it or not.. and if u link back, if u are in the service sector, making ur customers happy thru providing excellent services, wat has nice personality got to do with all these? a nice personality only allows pple the right to abuse their power in the workplace to give u more tasks to complete while they eat snake.. and the boss only wants to see results.. we're all living in a world where ends justify means.. who cares wat kind of person u are when u achieved the outcome u want? and more often than not, the pple ard you can only see one side of you.

being the "devil" is a great stress reliever.. it channels all your negativities and such to an outlet where u can say "danger! keep out!" it enables pple to fully let down their guard against this evil foul world where we have to put up our armour, prepare our shield and get ready for battle..

if we advance, we'll get bruised and hurt, only to find ourselves facing yet another battle, and another, and another.. the fights are neverending yet the victories are limited.. and if we can once try to be the "greatest of all" who controls this lose-lose game, we'll win.. so y not? nice personality aint get u anyway u want to go.. we always see it in shows, in games, in books and all.. the innocent always end up getting killed, taken hostage, and even risk the brain being blown up..

wat's worse is that there isnt any elixir that we can find in our treasure maps, nor secret compartments whereby the shortcut leads to the "princess," nor the super power that we can choose to use against ememies during emergencies.. the only thing available is those weapons that other pple left beside the bush, and the only choice u can make is either to take it and discard your own weapon, or leave it where it is (some dog might have pissed on it, or it might be some pre-activated bomb that'll explode upon contact.)

i so much wanted to break out of this mental state.. i dunno wat i'm saying now.. shit. think it's time to let my mind rest.. and i remember.. shit is the word that Mrs Tey used to forbid us to say in sec 4.. ok.. wat am i thinking now.. shutting down..

*pple, wish me luck. i'm running out of them..
*b4 i say so, i'd like to thank watever that's been with me.. through the nightmare that night.. i think i've exhausted all my luck for that desperate help needed at that point in time.. did i say sth wrong since last monday? i hope not..