i wonder if we humans really only use like 3-5% of our brain.. coz i blog so often and yet i have so many other stuffs that i never include.. so many other thoughts and so on..
and besides blogging, i still have a journal.. and majority of the "masterpieces" and "trash" from my mind is not included in this 2 outlets..
and if a 17, 18 yrs old ger like me already has so much to think, den wat abt those 70, 80 yrs old pple?
and imagine wat we can do if someday someone invent some incerdible technology machine that somehow is able to tap into the somewhat seemingly infinite resource of our brains? wat would the world become by then? a mega creation? a new era?
btw, check this out.. found this website when i was searching for lyrics..
http://breakup-songs.com/
Sunday, May 30
no idea wat topic.. juz typing wat i'm thinking
maybe it's part of growing up.. u'll realise that somehow, u dun ask as many qns as u used to.. u'll learn to appreciate more things and not keep asking why u cant have the same things as others have..
contentment? is that all? i dun think so.. after all, we humans are a competitive bunch of morons.. we wont settle for less when we can be happier with more.. so wat abt being more "mature?"
i think most of us juz resigned to "fate", so as to say.. coz when we're older, we juz KNOW that certain things are beyond our control, no matter how much we whine or grumble.. and since there's nothing we can do abt it, y bother? juz let it be..
a more positive way of saying is being contented, appreciative of what we have instead of bemoaning at our "misfortune"..
a more negative way is being indifferent and simply hating wat we dun have, although we dun voice it up, the "feeling" of being "poor" or what is still there..
and as a kid, u dun think abt how ur parents would feel if u ask for sth.. u juz want wat u desire.. and as we grow older, we'll think for others.. our brain is "built" that way.. as we're able to analyse more complex situations and anticipate wat the reactions would be if we say or do sth, we'll stop ourselves from doing sth, esp if we cant comprehend wat is coming our way.. right?
contentment? is that all? i dun think so.. after all, we humans are a competitive bunch of morons.. we wont settle for less when we can be happier with more.. so wat abt being more "mature?"
i think most of us juz resigned to "fate", so as to say.. coz when we're older, we juz KNOW that certain things are beyond our control, no matter how much we whine or grumble.. and since there's nothing we can do abt it, y bother? juz let it be..
a more positive way of saying is being contented, appreciative of what we have instead of bemoaning at our "misfortune"..
a more negative way is being indifferent and simply hating wat we dun have, although we dun voice it up, the "feeling" of being "poor" or what is still there..
and as a kid, u dun think abt how ur parents would feel if u ask for sth.. u juz want wat u desire.. and as we grow older, we'll think for others.. our brain is "built" that way.. as we're able to analyse more complex situations and anticipate wat the reactions would be if we say or do sth, we'll stop ourselves from doing sth, esp if we cant comprehend wat is coming our way.. right?
Saturday, May 29
letting go and holding on
shld we let go or shld we hold on?
which is the best option?
is letting go moving on and is holding on staying put?
let go of guilt, troubles and negativities.. but only when u've learnt sth from them..
hold on to memories, trust and faith.. only when they mean sth to u..
letting go and holding on.. u can hold on and move on at the same time.. likewise, u can let go and not making any advances.. in the end, we determine wat is impt to us and wat we shld do to each special case and situation we encountered.. trust urself and do wat u deem best..
which is the best option?
is letting go moving on and is holding on staying put?
let go of guilt, troubles and negativities.. but only when u've learnt sth from them..
hold on to memories, trust and faith.. only when they mean sth to u..
letting go and holding on.. u can hold on and move on at the same time.. likewise, u can let go and not making any advances.. in the end, we determine wat is impt to us and wat we shld do to each special case and situation we encountered.. trust urself and do wat u deem best..
di qiu ji yi ji qian ji wan ge ren, wo te bie xiang ni..
was listening to some chinese radio station on the way to tampines in the afternoon.. old tampines road changed.. alot.. so nice now.. the plants and trees..
the story is very nice.. the DJ, think is ling zhi, read out some story tt a guy wrote in for that special program, a true story.. and she made the whole story so. alive. this is the 2nd time i didnt change channel when i hear DJ toking.. besides the fri quan yi feng's slot of course.. the story is nice.. partly coz i can relate to part of it.. the writer mentioned this line, from harlem's "ming zhong zhu ding" lyrics..
[di qiu ji yi ji qian ji wan ge ren, wo te bie xiang ni]
thinking ar.. really lor.. there are so many pple in the world.. thousands and millions of them.. but y would u specially miss that particular person the most? it need not apply only to missing someone, but to almost everything..
really lor.. so many pple out there.. why do we care abt that someone's opinion, comments, words or actions more den others? doesnt it makes sense that we shld be bothered by wat the MAJORITY think instead?
but it's strange huh? sometimes things juz work this way and there's nth we can do abt it..
the story is very nice.. the DJ, think is ling zhi, read out some story tt a guy wrote in for that special program, a true story.. and she made the whole story so. alive. this is the 2nd time i didnt change channel when i hear DJ toking.. besides the fri quan yi feng's slot of course.. the story is nice.. partly coz i can relate to part of it.. the writer mentioned this line, from harlem's "ming zhong zhu ding" lyrics..
[di qiu ji yi ji qian ji wan ge ren, wo te bie xiang ni]
thinking ar.. really lor.. there are so many pple in the world.. thousands and millions of them.. but y would u specially miss that particular person the most? it need not apply only to missing someone, but to almost everything..
really lor.. so many pple out there.. why do we care abt that someone's opinion, comments, words or actions more den others? doesnt it makes sense that we shld be bothered by wat the MAJORITY think instead?
but it's strange huh? sometimes things juz work this way and there's nth we can do abt it..
Friday, May 28
THE ONE FLAW IN WOMEN:
this post i copied from an email.. gals, read it and learn to appreciate urself more.. guys, read it and appreciate the females ard u more.. :D
By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." "But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing." And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have.They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.They love unconditionally.They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." "But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing." And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have.They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.They love unconditionally.They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Thursday, May 27
compliment and masks
it feels nice when someone pays me a compliment.. one that doesnt sets me thinking if the person has other underlying motive or when it seems so fake..
it's like having a warm cup of tea on a cold raining day... sometimes we, or i rather, suspect things too much.. not that i'm trying to examine everything that pple say to me.. but i juz cant help thinking further and questioning the worth of what others say to me abt me..
we all know, roughly, who we are.. therefore it is natural when we try to match what was said to what we have, comparing and determining the "compatibility". this is the part when sarcasm is being spotted in many cases, thru the wrong tone and all..
was chatting to yj in msn ytd.. and he brought up the topic abt masks and backstabbing.. it's true that we put on different masks on different occasions, for different situations and with different pple.. it's natural.. it is an adaptation skills, to put it nicely..
putting on masks is not that terrible as what pple might think it is.. it is a way of dealing with a variety of things and pple in life.. it is NORMAL.. u behave differently at home and with our frens.. can u say that it's abnormal? NO is the answer..
it is a basic survial "tool" we are equipped with in order to live.. if we put away all the masks and face the world with only 1 face, den i can tell u, u're doomed.. this is not being honest and true.. this is being inflexible, stubborn and dumb..
however, this is not at all impossible.. u can face the world with one true you WHEN, we are all replicas of each other, inside and out, and when u can use that 1 side of u to handle that person.. if not, too bad.. u failed..
even when we put on masks, the "real" us will still slowly come out, revealing itself bit by bit.. this allows the "other party" to accept who u are slowly and not all at once.. coz even frens, u may like me for maybe the way i handle situations but hate my temper or sth.. besides tt, diff pple have diff limits to certain behaviours and all.. therefore masks are the best tool to use against all these..
we are all imperfect but i strongly believe that perfect moments happen to imperfect pple at the most imperfect time.. and of course this is aided by other factors.. and putting on masks is one of them.. it's juz like acting.. u muz grasp the concept and den apply to daily life? sth like that??
so in conclusion, putting on masks is not at all a negative thing.. it enables us to be flexible in handling the complications of our daily lives.. =)
it's like having a warm cup of tea on a cold raining day... sometimes we, or i rather, suspect things too much.. not that i'm trying to examine everything that pple say to me.. but i juz cant help thinking further and questioning the worth of what others say to me abt me..
we all know, roughly, who we are.. therefore it is natural when we try to match what was said to what we have, comparing and determining the "compatibility". this is the part when sarcasm is being spotted in many cases, thru the wrong tone and all..
was chatting to yj in msn ytd.. and he brought up the topic abt masks and backstabbing.. it's true that we put on different masks on different occasions, for different situations and with different pple.. it's natural.. it is an adaptation skills, to put it nicely..
putting on masks is not that terrible as what pple might think it is.. it is a way of dealing with a variety of things and pple in life.. it is NORMAL.. u behave differently at home and with our frens.. can u say that it's abnormal? NO is the answer..
it is a basic survial "tool" we are equipped with in order to live.. if we put away all the masks and face the world with only 1 face, den i can tell u, u're doomed.. this is not being honest and true.. this is being inflexible, stubborn and dumb..
however, this is not at all impossible.. u can face the world with one true you WHEN, we are all replicas of each other, inside and out, and when u can use that 1 side of u to handle that person.. if not, too bad.. u failed..
even when we put on masks, the "real" us will still slowly come out, revealing itself bit by bit.. this allows the "other party" to accept who u are slowly and not all at once.. coz even frens, u may like me for maybe the way i handle situations but hate my temper or sth.. besides tt, diff pple have diff limits to certain behaviours and all.. therefore masks are the best tool to use against all these..
we are all imperfect but i strongly believe that perfect moments happen to imperfect pple at the most imperfect time.. and of course this is aided by other factors.. and putting on masks is one of them.. it's juz like acting.. u muz grasp the concept and den apply to daily life? sth like that??
so in conclusion, putting on masks is not at all a negative thing.. it enables us to be flexible in handling the complications of our daily lives.. =)
Wednesday, May 26
the sunkist bus~
was waiting for 112 today and realised tt my favourite sunkist bus is not there.. i used to stand at the interchange waiting for my bus and looking at the "sunkist" bus which juz so happened to be parked at an angle whereby i can see the whole advertisement.. since the 1st time i saw the advertisement, i know i'm already in love with it.. have in mind that it'll be the ONLY bus advertisement that i'll vote for.. when the "competition" came, there's no sunkist bus.. all those jacelyn and army thingy.. all i dun like!! i want sunkist!!!
maybe it always somehow brightens up my day when ever i see it that it sort of becomes a habit to be on the lookout for that bus when i'm in the interchange.. now, without seeing it, i feel weird.. it's the one and only advertisement that has that effect on me.. am quite sad that i cant seem to have any fate with it anymore.. it's a very simple advertisement.. no special complicated and wow effects on the bus.. juz white background and 2 smiley faces.. it's simple yet able to affect me.. i thank whoever that design it.. think it does deserves an award or sth..
it is a happy thought.. better den my previous post.. aint gonna end this negatively.. cheers to sunkist bus..!!
maybe it always somehow brightens up my day when ever i see it that it sort of becomes a habit to be on the lookout for that bus when i'm in the interchange.. now, without seeing it, i feel weird.. it's the one and only advertisement that has that effect on me.. am quite sad that i cant seem to have any fate with it anymore.. it's a very simple advertisement.. no special complicated and wow effects on the bus.. juz white background and 2 smiley faces.. it's simple yet able to affect me.. i thank whoever that design it.. think it does deserves an award or sth..
it is a happy thought.. better den my previous post.. aint gonna end this negatively.. cheers to sunkist bus..!!
Tuesday, May 25
winky ;-)
What weather pattern best represents your outlook on life?
Sunny skies and warm
Partly cloudy and mild
Cloudy with a chance of rain
Dark and stormy
Tornado
lolx.. haha.. well, outlook on life changes at every point in time of our like.. this 5 choices where got enuff sia? lolx.. well, did some tests online.. and it says tt i'm the winky emoticon.. wink wink and more wink.. lolx.. funny sia.. gd way to past time..
=====================================
i think slowly, i'm being oblivious to time.. things tt happened like yrs or months ago feel like ytd.. or somehow, i managed to drift apart from the world or sth.. i get worked up over minor things and feel nothing abt the more important things in life.. have i not get my priorities right? or what? or am i juz too indifferent abt things in life tt i simply dun care, dun bother, dun feel, dun think?maybe this is normal.. maybe it's not.. i cant change the way i am.. or maybe a clearer way to express myself.. i dun wanna change the way i am.. if i change myself further to suit the pple ard me, den wat i am? a replica of someone else? or a mixture of all the pple ard me? i dun wanna be that..
Sunny skies and warm
Partly cloudy and mild
Cloudy with a chance of rain
Dark and stormy
Tornado
lolx.. haha.. well, outlook on life changes at every point in time of our like.. this 5 choices where got enuff sia? lolx.. well, did some tests online.. and it says tt i'm the winky emoticon.. wink wink and more wink.. lolx.. funny sia.. gd way to past time..
=====================================
i think slowly, i'm being oblivious to time.. things tt happened like yrs or months ago feel like ytd.. or somehow, i managed to drift apart from the world or sth.. i get worked up over minor things and feel nothing abt the more important things in life.. have i not get my priorities right? or what? or am i juz too indifferent abt things in life tt i simply dun care, dun bother, dun feel, dun think?maybe this is normal.. maybe it's not.. i cant change the way i am.. or maybe a clearer way to express myself.. i dun wanna change the way i am.. if i change myself further to suit the pple ard me, den wat i am? a replica of someone else? or a mixture of all the pple ard me? i dun wanna be that..
Monday, May 24
change? dunno
sian.. cant check my other clsmates' timetable.. arbo can see if she's in the same cls as me.. haizz.. sian sian sian.. den dunno who's in the same cls as me.. very de sian de..
pessimism is much much better den optimism.. pessimism allows me to complain and grumble all i want.. it's the PERFECT excuse.. optimism aint helping.. i cant bluff myself saying tt i am happy when i'm not.. it juz isnt right.. and dun try to change me.. i am who i am.. not who u want me to be.. if u want me to become someone u think i shld be coz to u, it's right; den y not u try becoming who i want u to be? someone like me? someone whom u think shld change for the "better?"
it is clearly unfair that u wanna change pple into someone into the "better" person that u have in ur mind.. have u ever thought of the other party? if u wanna try to change the other person, maybe u can try changing urself 1st to suit the other person and see if u like it.. if u do, den fine.. no need to change back or encourage the other person to change for his or her own gd coz u can adapt to it.. and if u cant bear with the changes, den maybe u shld think AGAIN if wat u're trying to do is right.. if u cant stand it, den u think the other party would?
pessimism is much much better den optimism.. pessimism allows me to complain and grumble all i want.. it's the PERFECT excuse.. optimism aint helping.. i cant bluff myself saying tt i am happy when i'm not.. it juz isnt right.. and dun try to change me.. i am who i am.. not who u want me to be.. if u want me to become someone u think i shld be coz to u, it's right; den y not u try becoming who i want u to be? someone like me? someone whom u think shld change for the "better?"
it is clearly unfair that u wanna change pple into someone into the "better" person that u have in ur mind.. have u ever thought of the other party? if u wanna try to change the other person, maybe u can try changing urself 1st to suit the other person and see if u like it.. if u do, den fine.. no need to change back or encourage the other person to change for his or her own gd coz u can adapt to it.. and if u cant bear with the changes, den maybe u shld think AGAIN if wat u're trying to do is right.. if u cant stand it, den u think the other party would?
Sunday, May 23
yeah.. decided to include music in my blog again.. wish by SENS, if i'm not wrong..
i learnt a lot from the pple ard me.. not necessarily those close to me.. sometimes the things they taught me far exceeded wat others could offer..
adeline and sam.. thanks to 2 of u, i managed to see thru all those hazy moments thru that 2 yrs.. both of them are super straightforward pple.. their words and actions make me reflect and see things in a new light.. enable me to make faster decisions, saving on the uncertainties and troubles tt i dun wanna face and the mistakes tt i know i will make and regret later on in life..
decide, end fast, everybody oso happy.. we all can only be young once.. so wasting time is a big big disadvantage.. settle things in the shortest time makes things simpler.. lesser explanations needed, lesser complications, lesser headaches, lesser worries, lesser anticipations and so on..
i learnt a lot from the pple ard me.. not necessarily those close to me.. sometimes the things they taught me far exceeded wat others could offer..
adeline and sam.. thanks to 2 of u, i managed to see thru all those hazy moments thru that 2 yrs.. both of them are super straightforward pple.. their words and actions make me reflect and see things in a new light.. enable me to make faster decisions, saving on the uncertainties and troubles tt i dun wanna face and the mistakes tt i know i will make and regret later on in life..
decide, end fast, everybody oso happy.. we all can only be young once.. so wasting time is a big big disadvantage.. settle things in the shortest time makes things simpler.. lesser explanations needed, lesser complications, lesser headaches, lesser worries, lesser anticipations and so on..
no idea wat i'm saying..
which hurts the most?
not being together or knowing that parting is inevitable?
dunno.. jas's nick sets me thinking abt this.. her courage and regret nick lah..
dunno leh.. coz if there's contentment, den everything shld be gd enuff.. there's no need to show ur "courage" to pple.. coz not everything that can be seen is true and not everything that cant be seen isnt true..
it's more of an individual thing bah.. expressing.. sometimes it's juz too late.. way too late.. so muz let go.. right? and if i cant do anything abt it, den dun do.. easy as tt.. waste more time.. waiting for june to come faster.. den maybe everything will really be over.. stepping out..
not being together or knowing that parting is inevitable?
dunno.. jas's nick sets me thinking abt this.. her courage and regret nick lah..
dunno leh.. coz if there's contentment, den everything shld be gd enuff.. there's no need to show ur "courage" to pple.. coz not everything that can be seen is true and not everything that cant be seen isnt true..
it's more of an individual thing bah.. expressing.. sometimes it's juz too late.. way too late.. so muz let go.. right? and if i cant do anything abt it, den dun do.. easy as tt.. waste more time.. waiting for june to come faster.. den maybe everything will really be over.. stepping out..
Friday, May 21
k lunch..
ah meow gave me morning call juz to get me outta bed to meet them for k lunch.. was very reluctant to get outta my comfy bed.. so was abit grumpy and all.. went there, sing for abt 4 hrs.. very cheap.. 7 bucks for 4 hrs... not too bad.. somemore 4 of us, we got the bigger room with 3 mics.. gd sia.. sang lotsa songs.. lolx..
peiliang asked y i always select and sing males' songs... lolx... i didnt realise tt.. maybe coz the songs are nice and partly coz my voice simply cant reach those high screeching pitch? if i use the fake voice, it will sound quite horrible... lolx.. that's y if i sing duet wif gers, i always choose the guys part.. let the rest fight over the female part... lolx..
as usual, peiliang and i sang the you yi dian dong xing.. and yp and him sang ai de zhen hao.. boling and him sang dong jie and xu yuan.. not too bad sia.. had a really great time.. the person didnt chase us out.. so we left at 3 instead...
in a mess today... left the house in a terrible state.. messy hair, old polo tee, berms and slippers.. den the other 2 wear until so nice... lolx..
now, jolene's ni kuai le ma playing in my head.. surprisingly, with them, we only sang 1 S.H.E song today.. recently keep wanting to listen to william su and alex toh's songs.. dunno y oso.. juz feel like it..
was feeling very proud.. intro that si xing bu gai to the 3 of them.. and they like it.. it's like the 1st time i hear that song, i already love it.. so keep repeating the song for a period of time till it irritates my bro.. damn nice i tell u.. dunno y oso.. 1st canto song i like and can sing.. even though i dunno how to pronounce properly, yi si yi si can... haha..
oh ya... tanya chua's voice oso very nice.. wat she's lacking is juz luck.. her songs are nice.. quite a number of them.. juz tt she's not so popular.. hmm.. who else wanna argue this time round tt luck doesnt really play a part? it does.. and to a large extent!!
peiliang asked y i always select and sing males' songs... lolx... i didnt realise tt.. maybe coz the songs are nice and partly coz my voice simply cant reach those high screeching pitch? if i use the fake voice, it will sound quite horrible... lolx.. that's y if i sing duet wif gers, i always choose the guys part.. let the rest fight over the female part... lolx..
as usual, peiliang and i sang the you yi dian dong xing.. and yp and him sang ai de zhen hao.. boling and him sang dong jie and xu yuan.. not too bad sia.. had a really great time.. the person didnt chase us out.. so we left at 3 instead...
in a mess today... left the house in a terrible state.. messy hair, old polo tee, berms and slippers.. den the other 2 wear until so nice... lolx..
now, jolene's ni kuai le ma playing in my head.. surprisingly, with them, we only sang 1 S.H.E song today.. recently keep wanting to listen to william su and alex toh's songs.. dunno y oso.. juz feel like it..
was feeling very proud.. intro that si xing bu gai to the 3 of them.. and they like it.. it's like the 1st time i hear that song, i already love it.. so keep repeating the song for a period of time till it irritates my bro.. damn nice i tell u.. dunno y oso.. 1st canto song i like and can sing.. even though i dunno how to pronounce properly, yi si yi si can... haha..
oh ya... tanya chua's voice oso very nice.. wat she's lacking is juz luck.. her songs are nice.. quite a number of them.. juz tt she's not so popular.. hmm.. who else wanna argue this time round tt luck doesnt really play a part? it does.. and to a large extent!!
sianz
now getting quite mad at friendster.. think our 8-character thingy clashes or sth.. it shows u stuff tt u dun wanna see, let u make assumptions on the things u dun wanna think abt.. and let pple show u how fake they are actually.. and how highly confident some of them are.. damn damn damn..
no life, no life at all.. or rather, a lifeless kinda life.. damn.. going online has officially been proclaimed to be my program for the holiday.. proud sponsor of the program.. ME..
i wanna block my ears.. cut off my ears.. close my mind.. shut my eyes.. cut of any contact between me and that damn world..
got this from some lame chinese show's subtitles.. managed to catch abit only.. dunno if i quote it correctly.. but i think it's very true..
WHEN THE EYES AND THE EARS ARE CLOSE, THE HEART IS CALM..
so moral of the grumbling:
if someone toks crap or watever stuff tt u dun wanna believe, hear nor listen to(note that there's a diff between hearing and listening), juz close ur ears and ur eyes(to prevent the fella from gestering and irritating u)! gd idea!!
no life, no life at all.. or rather, a lifeless kinda life.. damn.. going online has officially been proclaimed to be my program for the holiday.. proud sponsor of the program.. ME..
i wanna block my ears.. cut off my ears.. close my mind.. shut my eyes.. cut of any contact between me and that damn world..
got this from some lame chinese show's subtitles.. managed to catch abit only.. dunno if i quote it correctly.. but i think it's very true..
WHEN THE EYES AND THE EARS ARE CLOSE, THE HEART IS CALM..
so moral of the grumbling:
if someone toks crap or watever stuff tt u dun wanna believe, hear nor listen to(note that there's a diff between hearing and listening), juz close ur ears and ur eyes(to prevent the fella from gestering and irritating u)! gd idea!!
Tuesday, May 18
risks
to laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
to weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
to reach out for another is to risk involvement.
to express feelings is to risk rejection.
to place ur dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
to love is to risk not being loved in return.
to go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
but risks muz be taken, coz the greatest hazards in life is to risk nothing.
the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
he may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cant learn, feel, change, grow or love.
to weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
to reach out for another is to risk involvement.
to express feelings is to risk rejection.
to place ur dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
to love is to risk not being loved in return.
to go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
but risks muz be taken, coz the greatest hazards in life is to risk nothing.
the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
he may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cant learn, feel, change, grow or love.
today is 18 may tues
jo came all the way to hougang to meet alyssa nad me.. played pool and ate suki.. lolx.. quite a gd idea for lazy pple like me to spend my time, low cost and so near my house and grandpa's house..
we planned to go to genting together at the end of the yr.. most probabaly oct.. so muz start saving when sch reopens.. less kinder buenos, less sweets and junk food.. think shld be able to.. muz set target.. to save at least $200 in like 5 months.. den the rest think can take from my savings..
hmm.. not such a bad idea though.. genting is definitely cheaper den taiwan.. and my cousin asked me to save till i go mad.. lolx.. somemore malaysia cheaper.. go by coach oso much lesser den plane to taiwan... lolx.. oso not so time-consuming.. gd idea..
hmm.. anyway very fast de.. before u know it'll sch would have started and by the 2nd or 3rd week when tuts start coming in, it'll be july.. den all of a sudden, u'll find urself in the middle of research, presentations and den exams.. and den.. viola~ holidays, again!!
alyssa asking me to work as a tutor.. lolx.. for me is CMI, seriously.. coz kids ar... cant handle them.. after awhile i think the sch will sack me.. lolx..
sian sia.. dun wanna even step outta the house.. feel so damn lazy.. like a worm sia.. think of training i sian 1/2.. more and more sian.. my watever attitude aint helping in my scores this time round.. after training normally will have to rest for 1-2 days coz muscle ache.. lousy weakling.. last time aint lidat de.. think pains and fatigue come with old age..
this month dun even feel like buying mag.. support for so many yrs until it becomes a habit.. on the 13 of every month, i'll be on the lookout.. budden these few months really ar.. it's only a waste of my money.. coz i dun read it anyway.. juz buy, den put 1 side.. buy those with alot of advertisements even worse.. imagine u flip to a page of maybe clothes, den u see alot u like, den when u check the price, there's only 2 reaction.. 1) price unavailable(or no price indication), 2)$159 or sth..
sian.. see liao no money to buy.. den read for what? waste money on the mag and xim tia.. somemore see liao not as if i wish very hard den the things will fall from the sky..
listening to my cousin's songs... the songs in her playlist all very nice.. all those tt i listen to in primary sch.. like zui ai de ren bu shi ni and ziang yu tai zao..
we planned to go to genting together at the end of the yr.. most probabaly oct.. so muz start saving when sch reopens.. less kinder buenos, less sweets and junk food.. think shld be able to.. muz set target.. to save at least $200 in like 5 months.. den the rest think can take from my savings..
hmm.. not such a bad idea though.. genting is definitely cheaper den taiwan.. and my cousin asked me to save till i go mad.. lolx.. somemore malaysia cheaper.. go by coach oso much lesser den plane to taiwan... lolx.. oso not so time-consuming.. gd idea..
hmm.. anyway very fast de.. before u know it'll sch would have started and by the 2nd or 3rd week when tuts start coming in, it'll be july.. den all of a sudden, u'll find urself in the middle of research, presentations and den exams.. and den.. viola~ holidays, again!!
alyssa asking me to work as a tutor.. lolx.. for me is CMI, seriously.. coz kids ar... cant handle them.. after awhile i think the sch will sack me.. lolx..
sian sia.. dun wanna even step outta the house.. feel so damn lazy.. like a worm sia.. think of training i sian 1/2.. more and more sian.. my watever attitude aint helping in my scores this time round.. after training normally will have to rest for 1-2 days coz muscle ache.. lousy weakling.. last time aint lidat de.. think pains and fatigue come with old age..
this month dun even feel like buying mag.. support for so many yrs until it becomes a habit.. on the 13 of every month, i'll be on the lookout.. budden these few months really ar.. it's only a waste of my money.. coz i dun read it anyway.. juz buy, den put 1 side.. buy those with alot of advertisements even worse.. imagine u flip to a page of maybe clothes, den u see alot u like, den when u check the price, there's only 2 reaction.. 1) price unavailable(or no price indication), 2)$159 or sth..
sian.. see liao no money to buy.. den read for what? waste money on the mag and xim tia.. somemore see liao not as if i wish very hard den the things will fall from the sky..
listening to my cousin's songs... the songs in her playlist all very nice.. all those tt i listen to in primary sch.. like zui ai de ren bu shi ni and ziang yu tai zao..
sianzZzzZZzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzZ
tired.. sianz... it's time to bring those famous words out again..
who cares, big deal, watever~!
the things i do, the words i say, the clothes i wear..
ching.. tell u ar.. really sian lor.. ytd i dreamt of jeff and jas working in some sakae outlet.. den we went there to eat.. but left without ordering anything.. sux lor.. slp oso dream of sakae.. bad omen..
again, watever~! it's time to use the words over and over again... y shld i care? rude den rude lah.. no big deal anyway..
who cares, big deal, watever~!
the things i do, the words i say, the clothes i wear..
ching.. tell u ar.. really sian lor.. ytd i dreamt of jeff and jas working in some sakae outlet.. den we went there to eat.. but left without ordering anything.. sux lor.. slp oso dream of sakae.. bad omen..
again, watever~! it's time to use the words over and over again... y shld i care? rude den rude lah.. no big deal anyway..
no idea.. mixed kinda post
i really hate it when i open my own blog and the 1st thing i see is the "x" on the top left corner of the window.. coz the transfer rate exceeded and things are being disabled.. well, think it's coz of the music.. shall take it down.. tha lst time i check, it was 20%.. now it over 150%.. what on earth happened?!! den i cant see the pics and all, sian lor.. so i've taken down the music.. think it'll be better after tt..
cant even view my own blog tt is COMPLETE.. sian.. without the heart abit weird.. too empty.. update so many times a day oso sian.. and y muz i write all those stuff? entertainment purposes? information sharing?
Y shld i? y shld i? y shld i? y shld i? y shld i?
i dunno.. boring person wif boring life.. anyway, i aint faking u.. y shld i anyway? not as if i'll get sth gd outta all these rubbish crap sessions online.. and u all reading my blog any maybe laughing ur heads off coz i'm one mega idiot..
watever~!
anyway, after wat i've said, here's sth else.. info sharing again.. senseless info..
did anyone realised that the days are getting longer and the nights shorter? days drag on and on and on and on.. never ending.. night-time seems to go by wif the bat of an eyelid.. maybe coz we're all aslp.. days are getting longer coz it's hotter and brighter, den nights are getting shorter and cooler.. i oso dunno y.. coz suddenly like a change... not major.. but enuff for me to notice anyway.. and i'm not exactly a very attentive person who'll pay special attention to things going on ard me.. juz wat i feel..
oh ya.. and y when i'm typing entries to be posted. more often den not, i feel as if i'm obliged to apologise for wat i think and feel.. and again, the qn comes up.. y shld i?
this is from my fren last time:
Why apologize for showing feeling? When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
ya.. i think so too.. but sometimes u cant juz write anything u think coz the world is not abt u and u only..
think now i'm abit cranky.. dunno wat i'm typing.. dunno wat i'm saying..ya.. selfish pple.. best!
cant even view my own blog tt is COMPLETE.. sian.. without the heart abit weird.. too empty.. update so many times a day oso sian.. and y muz i write all those stuff? entertainment purposes? information sharing?
Y shld i? y shld i? y shld i? y shld i? y shld i?
i dunno.. boring person wif boring life.. anyway, i aint faking u.. y shld i anyway? not as if i'll get sth gd outta all these rubbish crap sessions online.. and u all reading my blog any maybe laughing ur heads off coz i'm one mega idiot..
watever~!
anyway, after wat i've said, here's sth else.. info sharing again.. senseless info..
did anyone realised that the days are getting longer and the nights shorter? days drag on and on and on and on.. never ending.. night-time seems to go by wif the bat of an eyelid.. maybe coz we're all aslp.. days are getting longer coz it's hotter and brighter, den nights are getting shorter and cooler.. i oso dunno y.. coz suddenly like a change... not major.. but enuff for me to notice anyway.. and i'm not exactly a very attentive person who'll pay special attention to things going on ard me.. juz wat i feel..
oh ya.. and y when i'm typing entries to be posted. more often den not, i feel as if i'm obliged to apologise for wat i think and feel.. and again, the qn comes up.. y shld i?
this is from my fren last time:
Why apologize for showing feeling? When you do so, you apologize for the truth.
ya.. i think so too.. but sometimes u cant juz write anything u think coz the world is not abt u and u only..
think now i'm abit cranky.. dunno wat i'm typing.. dunno wat i'm saying..ya.. selfish pple.. best!
WHEN U WANT TO FOOL THE WORLD, TELL THE TRUTH
learnt a VERY IMPORTANT lesson today...
WHEN U WANT TO FOOL THE WORLD, TELL THE TRUTH
it's tested, proven, tried and what not.. can trust de..
coz i used tt "formula" on my mom and it works.. lolx.. but dun overdo it..
how i wished i know tt formula sooner.. den can apply.. den maybe many gd things will come outta it.. but regrets are sth tt we muz live with coz it's a necessity in life..
WHEN U WANT TO FOOL THE WORLD, TELL THE TRUTH
it's tested, proven, tried and what not.. can trust de..
coz i used tt "formula" on my mom and it works.. lolx.. but dun overdo it..
how i wished i know tt formula sooner.. den can apply.. den maybe many gd things will come outta it.. but regrets are sth tt we muz live with coz it's a necessity in life..
Monday, May 17
qing fei de yi by harlem and songs by jeff
haa.. one of my fav songs last time.. can put on repeat mode for very long.. haa.. esp the chorus.. very nice.. catchy kinda tune..
and ya.. jeff chang's song.. kanna influenced by my cousin.. love his songs.. nice.. qing ge wang zi.. sounds soo "wow"~ like zhi jue, ai bu liu, ai ru chao shui, kuan rong, hui lai, and so on....... long long list.. lolx..
lalala.. and ya.. there's this ger grp last time.. mirai or sth.. now gone liao ar? coz i only rem one of their songs.. haha.. now like nv see them anywhere le.. maybe nt popular enuff.. den being axed by the company.. =D
and ya.. jeff chang's song.. kanna influenced by my cousin.. love his songs.. nice.. qing ge wang zi.. sounds soo "wow"~ like zhi jue, ai bu liu, ai ru chao shui, kuan rong, hui lai, and so on....... long long list.. lolx..
lalala.. and ya.. there's this ger grp last time.. mirai or sth.. now gone liao ar? coz i only rem one of their songs.. haha.. now like nv see them anywhere le.. maybe nt popular enuff.. den being axed by the company.. =D
changing name? lalala
lalala... think it's all in my mind.. wearing some funny string with some funny coin like thingy as the pendent.. my mom told me to wear it.. den coz it clashes with my cross necklace, so hav to take it out.. abit funny lah.. like chinese plus western.. lolx..
my parents went to some part of malaysia for some thingy.. think is some sort like fortune telling.. wah.. cannot believe it sia.. the things he(shld be a he lah) told my parents abt me.... wahahaha...
actually i NEVER thot tt my personality and what not is actually linked to my name.. hmm.. but wat the person said is damn true.. couldnt believe it too.. somemore i not present lor.. tk 1 look den can say liao..
den sometime in june i need to go there too, den let the person see, den dunno wat, den most prob changing my name... lolx.. changing my name sia!! imagine having ur name ard for like... 17 yrs.. den got used to pple calling me jun, ah jun, peijun, pei khoon, puay jun, puay khoon, and what not, suddenly they say i need to change my name... lolx.. how to accept it sia?
but my mom told me tt the birth cert's name will still remain.. juz tt my family will call me by my "new" name.. i think.. coz she's not too sure either..
find it quite interesting sia.. hmm.. think abit ar.. den realised it's quite true.. shall not say much.. coz i dun really know.. wait till it really happens den i blog again.. tt time hwasan oso commented.. same thing.. but so far okay leh..
wondering if everyone with the name peijun and surname chen needs to change their names.. lolx.. coz if that's the case, den i think alot of pple need to liao.. haha.. well, actually abit scared.. wat if they giv me some weird name like ah zhu or sth? lolx.. den xia suay sia.. haha.. arbo some lame ones like zhang yu, den i die... lolx.. okie.. crapping.. dunno y.. the word juz pop up... haa
quite looking forward to it.. coz nv go to this kinda thing b4.. so very interested.. se if they know me better den i do or what.. hmm.. but this kinda thing can only believe half half only.. coz no proof mah.. den cannot guarantee tt everything they say is and will be true.. we wont know anyway.. haha.. even if everything not as nice as i thot it would be, den can treat it as a family outing.. lolx.. =)
my parents went to some part of malaysia for some thingy.. think is some sort like fortune telling.. wah.. cannot believe it sia.. the things he(shld be a he lah) told my parents abt me.... wahahaha...
actually i NEVER thot tt my personality and what not is actually linked to my name.. hmm.. but wat the person said is damn true.. couldnt believe it too.. somemore i not present lor.. tk 1 look den can say liao..
den sometime in june i need to go there too, den let the person see, den dunno wat, den most prob changing my name... lolx.. changing my name sia!! imagine having ur name ard for like... 17 yrs.. den got used to pple calling me jun, ah jun, peijun, pei khoon, puay jun, puay khoon, and what not, suddenly they say i need to change my name... lolx.. how to accept it sia?
but my mom told me tt the birth cert's name will still remain.. juz tt my family will call me by my "new" name.. i think.. coz she's not too sure either..
find it quite interesting sia.. hmm.. think abit ar.. den realised it's quite true.. shall not say much.. coz i dun really know.. wait till it really happens den i blog again.. tt time hwasan oso commented.. same thing.. but so far okay leh..
wondering if everyone with the name peijun and surname chen needs to change their names.. lolx.. coz if that's the case, den i think alot of pple need to liao.. haha.. well, actually abit scared.. wat if they giv me some weird name like ah zhu or sth? lolx.. den xia suay sia.. haha.. arbo some lame ones like zhang yu, den i die... lolx.. okie.. crapping.. dunno y.. the word juz pop up... haa
quite looking forward to it.. coz nv go to this kinda thing b4.. so very interested.. se if they know me better den i do or what.. hmm.. but this kinda thing can only believe half half only.. coz no proof mah.. den cannot guarantee tt everything they say is and will be true.. we wont know anyway.. haha.. even if everything not as nice as i thot it would be, den can treat it as a family outing.. lolx.. =)
Sunday, May 16
jiu ai hai shi zui mei.. by william su..
jiu ai hai shi zui mei, mei de dong xi wang wang tai zao ku wei
huo hui shi de lei sui, you te bie rang ren jue de wu li pi bei
jiu ai hai shi zui mei, you shi fen shou bu shi shui fu le shui,
liang ge dui de ren, que zai cuo de shi hou ai le yi hui
suddenly thot of this song.. hmm.. this album ar.. yr 2002, may.. lolx.. abt 2 yrs ago.. well, think the last sentence is really true..
guess that's the case for many pple.. right?
huo hui shi de lei sui, you te bie rang ren jue de wu li pi bei
jiu ai hai shi zui mei, you shi fen shou bu shi shui fu le shui,
liang ge dui de ren, que zai cuo de shi hou ai le yi hui
suddenly thot of this song.. hmm.. this album ar.. yr 2002, may.. lolx.. abt 2 yrs ago.. well, think the last sentence is really true..
guess that's the case for many pple.. right?
cinema cinema cinema!!
read thru some of my previous entries.. my angmoh damn terok.. but i dun care.. there's no english teacher here to correct my grammer and vocab and spelling and what not.. super hot day.. sianz... watch TROY in PS.. 10am show.. damn nice.. the whole show not too draggy... nice nice.. den somemore in the morning, therefore not as many pple as the afternoon..
thinking of going to GV website and sending a feedback or suggestion thingy or watever u all call that.. coz really ar.. north east area dun even have 1 damn cinema.. den other places like alot lor.. only hougang, sengkang, punggol.. think coz hougang here is workers party.. tt's y.. bias? maybe.. very hard to say.. watch 1 movie muz go all the way to town.. arbo waste time.. if there's 1 in northeast area, sure earn alot of money de.. pple in our area will flock down to watch in shorts, t-shirts and slippers.. save time and transport..
can guarantee is a very gd investment.. sure to breakeven within 1 month de.. think i'm crazy.. normal pple wont do tt.. but i'm thinking lah.. coz really want mah.. den nxt time watch movie, after midnight show take cab oso not too ex.. gd bargain... for pple like us.. den students after sch will go there too, coz near neighbourhood schs mah.. den again, can earn money.. esp weekdays... when pple too lazy to go all the way to town to watch 1 movie.. not bad mah.. 5 days profits.. den maybe weekends lesser pple oso nvm.. budden maybe the crowd will be more den weekdays coz some pple hate crowds, will stay in the neighbourhood and catch a movie.. den coz neighbourhood, den maybe can lower the cost lah.. cheaper by 50 cents oso gd.. den will attract more pple.. the profit per pax will be lower but the gross profit will be much higher.. lolx.. think too much le.. shall stop here..
thinking of going to GV website and sending a feedback or suggestion thingy or watever u all call that.. coz really ar.. north east area dun even have 1 damn cinema.. den other places like alot lor.. only hougang, sengkang, punggol.. think coz hougang here is workers party.. tt's y.. bias? maybe.. very hard to say.. watch 1 movie muz go all the way to town.. arbo waste time.. if there's 1 in northeast area, sure earn alot of money de.. pple in our area will flock down to watch in shorts, t-shirts and slippers.. save time and transport..
can guarantee is a very gd investment.. sure to breakeven within 1 month de.. think i'm crazy.. normal pple wont do tt.. but i'm thinking lah.. coz really want mah.. den nxt time watch movie, after midnight show take cab oso not too ex.. gd bargain... for pple like us.. den students after sch will go there too, coz near neighbourhood schs mah.. den again, can earn money.. esp weekdays... when pple too lazy to go all the way to town to watch 1 movie.. not bad mah.. 5 days profits.. den maybe weekends lesser pple oso nvm.. budden maybe the crowd will be more den weekdays coz some pple hate crowds, will stay in the neighbourhood and catch a movie.. den coz neighbourhood, den maybe can lower the cost lah.. cheaper by 50 cents oso gd.. den will attract more pple.. the profit per pax will be lower but the gross profit will be much higher.. lolx.. think too much le.. shall stop here..
Saturday, May 15
S.H.E
watching SHE at channel 54 juz now.. den well, since last time i've always liek ella more den the other 2.. but juz couldnt explain why.. today i finally know abit coz my aunt was toking abt it..
selina ar.. always the ger wanting to be princess.. want to look pretty, be pretty, pose nice nice, smile sweet swet, be sexy, be cute..
hebe ar.. always the xiao jie.. the spoilt kid kinda ger.. abit attitude lah.. budden still better den selina.. although she also wants to be pretty and what not..
ella ar.. best.. gd impression, to me.. lolx.. watever shit the other 2 dont want to try, they giv to ella.. coz can see from qi's downloads.. den those crap they let her be,.. those boyish stuff they all push to her... den those ugly and "special" poses they let her do.. den those funny pics and lame stuff all oso come from ella.. hebe still okay.. time to time she'll be abit lame and all, den like not so xiao jie qi lah..
den ella more natural..
imagine a SHE with selina, hebe x 2.. LOLX... SURE CANNOT MAKE IT DE.. coz selina and hebe's voices too high and screechy le.. need ella to sort of balance.. tt's wat i think.. coz without ella, pple will not put their songs to repeat mode, coz will giv pple headache.. if listen to high pitch songs all the time..
and well, if u all noticed, in their MVs, mostly is ella act de.. the other 2 normally appear in MVs where they can pose with an angle and the right lighting, den their hair blow blow nice nice, den show them being pretty and sexy.. ella do all the stuff like crying (which will make a person look horrible, makeup will smudge, face will look weird), ki siao(coz the other 2 cannot seem to ki siao de).. den still got somemore but i cant really rem.. lolx..
well, all these stuff i said so far right, are MY views.. lolx.. well, i also agree tt packaging is very important to an artiste, therefore the other 2 gals are doing the right things too.. and which ger doesnt like to be pretty and pose nice nice so their pics can appear on mag covers, newspapers and tv? so, normal lah.. juz tt when u put her together with the other 2, she stands out more.. like i've said, to me lah.. night not be the case to others.. kk shall stop here.. FINALLY
selina ar.. always the ger wanting to be princess.. want to look pretty, be pretty, pose nice nice, smile sweet swet, be sexy, be cute..
hebe ar.. always the xiao jie.. the spoilt kid kinda ger.. abit attitude lah.. budden still better den selina.. although she also wants to be pretty and what not..
ella ar.. best.. gd impression, to me.. lolx.. watever shit the other 2 dont want to try, they giv to ella.. coz can see from qi's downloads.. den those crap they let her be,.. those boyish stuff they all push to her... den those ugly and "special" poses they let her do.. den those funny pics and lame stuff all oso come from ella.. hebe still okay.. time to time she'll be abit lame and all, den like not so xiao jie qi lah..
den ella more natural..
imagine a SHE with selina, hebe x 2.. LOLX... SURE CANNOT MAKE IT DE.. coz selina and hebe's voices too high and screechy le.. need ella to sort of balance.. tt's wat i think.. coz without ella, pple will not put their songs to repeat mode, coz will giv pple headache.. if listen to high pitch songs all the time..
and well, if u all noticed, in their MVs, mostly is ella act de.. the other 2 normally appear in MVs where they can pose with an angle and the right lighting, den their hair blow blow nice nice, den show them being pretty and sexy.. ella do all the stuff like crying (which will make a person look horrible, makeup will smudge, face will look weird), ki siao(coz the other 2 cannot seem to ki siao de).. den still got somemore but i cant really rem.. lolx..
well, all these stuff i said so far right, are MY views.. lolx.. well, i also agree tt packaging is very important to an artiste, therefore the other 2 gals are doing the right things too.. and which ger doesnt like to be pretty and pose nice nice so their pics can appear on mag covers, newspapers and tv? so, normal lah.. juz tt when u put her together with the other 2, she stands out more.. like i've said, to me lah.. night not be the case to others.. kk shall stop here.. FINALLY
well, this is from that david guy ching and i met ytd.. lolx...
Hi there,
I was really ashamed of myself that you didn't even bother to reply my SMS message. I just want to make myself clear. All I want is just a simple friednship from nice people like yourself from different country. That is all. I went to other country and met some nice people there such as UK or US. It was really rude that you didn't even reply my message. I was so shock to see unfriendly singaporean. Great nations People wouldn't do such a thing. I came from a great country and I see that you are from friendly country too.
Is the friendship too much for me to ask. I was so surprised to see your friend just leaving without leaving out any contact too. Even then I pretended that I am happy to meet you guys. When I asked her contacts , she just shake her head and go away. Again, great nation people don't do that. Well, I decided not to build a personal friendship with any singaporean in my life. When my job is done here, I will just go away. I feel so bad to choose out here as working holidays trip. I thought it was a friendly place to spend a little time on.
Well, my friend all the best.
Regards,
David
well, 1st of all, y shld he be ashamed of himself? oh well ching.. wat do u have to say? lolx.. well, he said that we were nice pple.. and den he continued to say tt we were unfriendly? and he went on to say tt "I see that you are from friendly country too."
wait~ abit contradicting right?
I was so surprised to see your friend just leaving without leaving out any contact too.
oh well, actually i dun see a problem with ur reaction ching.. anyway, we're not obliged to.. and well, GREAT nations pple aint supposed to behave that way?
"Well, I decided not to build a personal friendship with any singaporean in my life." well, den dont..
"I feel so bad to choose out here as working holidays trip. I thought it was a friendly place to spend a little time on. "
well, it's a nice place.. but for pple like u who thinks s'pore is nt a great country, den y dun U go back to where u belong to? go back to australia.. u can surf all u want there.. horse-riding... go ahead.. noone is stopping u..
and well, he ended with a "my friend all the best".. funny kinda person..
u see.. 1st he insult us singaporeans that our diploma pay is 1.5 to 2 k.. "so little!!"
well, we dun have welfare state to give us $400 per week! and well, s'poreans work like animals, tok like animals and die like animals.. wat abt that? and well, the comment that s'pore companies are what.. tight-arse? damn.. how NICE it is for someone from a GREAT nation to say sth lidat, and to 2 singaporeans.. well, and that we need to spend 3 yrs to get our diploma.. oh my~ and that's only a diploma..
and oh ya.. abt the "pretend to be happy to meet u guys".. erm.. if u're happy, den u are.. if u arent, den u r not.. dun need to pretend.. and u think what? stopping pple in the middle of the walkway for abt 50 mins? under the hot sun? and it's not rude? well, den wat can i say abt pple from GREAT nations like urs? and no one ask u to make assumptions one mah.. if u think that s'pore is a great and friendly country, den maybe u shldnt make assumptions by chatting wif 2 teenage gers on the streets of orchard who both happened to be rude.. and well, if the whole s'pore population is dependent on ching and me, den maybe we shld eliminate the rest of the pple? hide them in bukit timah or what.. den both of us roam the streets and get to know pple from all over the world!!
well, dun feel like arguing every single sentence in his email.. but well, now happier.. although i didnt managed to get everything down.. but still, well, funny kinda person from a funny kinda place.. maybe we shld judge the country thru him too.. den see how he likes it.. esp when it's some contradictory thing a person said.. nvm.. forget it.. watever~
I was really ashamed of myself that you didn't even bother to reply my SMS message. I just want to make myself clear. All I want is just a simple friednship from nice people like yourself from different country. That is all. I went to other country and met some nice people there such as UK or US. It was really rude that you didn't even reply my message. I was so shock to see unfriendly singaporean. Great nations People wouldn't do such a thing. I came from a great country and I see that you are from friendly country too.
Is the friendship too much for me to ask. I was so surprised to see your friend just leaving without leaving out any contact too. Even then I pretended that I am happy to meet you guys. When I asked her contacts , she just shake her head and go away. Again, great nation people don't do that. Well, I decided not to build a personal friendship with any singaporean in my life. When my job is done here, I will just go away. I feel so bad to choose out here as working holidays trip. I thought it was a friendly place to spend a little time on.
Well, my friend all the best.
Regards,
David
well, 1st of all, y shld he be ashamed of himself? oh well ching.. wat do u have to say? lolx.. well, he said that we were nice pple.. and den he continued to say tt we were unfriendly? and he went on to say tt "I see that you are from friendly country too."
wait~ abit contradicting right?
I was so surprised to see your friend just leaving without leaving out any contact too.
oh well, actually i dun see a problem with ur reaction ching.. anyway, we're not obliged to.. and well, GREAT nations pple aint supposed to behave that way?
"Well, I decided not to build a personal friendship with any singaporean in my life." well, den dont..
"I feel so bad to choose out here as working holidays trip. I thought it was a friendly place to spend a little time on. "
well, it's a nice place.. but for pple like u who thinks s'pore is nt a great country, den y dun U go back to where u belong to? go back to australia.. u can surf all u want there.. horse-riding... go ahead.. noone is stopping u..
and well, he ended with a "my friend all the best".. funny kinda person..
u see.. 1st he insult us singaporeans that our diploma pay is 1.5 to 2 k.. "so little!!"
well, we dun have welfare state to give us $400 per week! and well, s'poreans work like animals, tok like animals and die like animals.. wat abt that? and well, the comment that s'pore companies are what.. tight-arse? damn.. how NICE it is for someone from a GREAT nation to say sth lidat, and to 2 singaporeans.. well, and that we need to spend 3 yrs to get our diploma.. oh my~ and that's only a diploma..
and oh ya.. abt the "pretend to be happy to meet u guys".. erm.. if u're happy, den u are.. if u arent, den u r not.. dun need to pretend.. and u think what? stopping pple in the middle of the walkway for abt 50 mins? under the hot sun? and it's not rude? well, den wat can i say abt pple from GREAT nations like urs? and no one ask u to make assumptions one mah.. if u think that s'pore is a great and friendly country, den maybe u shldnt make assumptions by chatting wif 2 teenage gers on the streets of orchard who both happened to be rude.. and well, if the whole s'pore population is dependent on ching and me, den maybe we shld eliminate the rest of the pple? hide them in bukit timah or what.. den both of us roam the streets and get to know pple from all over the world!!
well, dun feel like arguing every single sentence in his email.. but well, now happier.. although i didnt managed to get everything down.. but still, well, funny kinda person from a funny kinda place.. maybe we shld judge the country thru him too.. den see how he likes it.. esp when it's some contradictory thing a person said.. nvm.. forget it.. watever~
sat 15th.. -_-_[ ]_-_-
today small target face AGAIN.. damn sian sia.. at 1st nt too bad.. later on no strength liao den.. well, u know.. my arrows anyhow fly.. anyway, as usual, ken told me tt i need more strength, muz do more exercises at home, train more blah blah blah.. den well, i was thinking no matter how hard i train, i will NEVER get out of the i-am-weak shell.. y? coz i'm a ger.. it's always lidat.. it's nt as if i dun wanna train.. but it's like.. no point lor.. karin so strong liao he still say not enuff strength.. somemore she's pulling a higher poundage bow..
karin MIA for quite long le.. den heard tt her results nt gd, dens ome subjects she took 3 times.. so think drop out bah.. well, now even worse.. the whole team like mostly guys.. today i abit lucky.. got monique and didi to accompany me..
i'm slowly turning into a guy.. think so.. now so rough.. den so crap.. NOT "ladylike" as all gers are "supposed" to be.. but i think i like myself this way more.. who cares anyway..
today really horrible.. 1st thing is the damn weather.. we all sweating like crazy.. like on tap.. den got 3 groups of soccer pple playing on the field.. 3 grps!!!!!! despite our "warning", they continued playing.. actually it doesnt matter to me but ken they all make such a big fuss over it tt i m very sian..
after training got PT.. as usual, warm up AGAIN, run, den do sprintings.. den warm down.. today still nt so bad.. but the very sian thing was tt after training den got breeze.. haizz.. always lidat de..make me suffer sia..
think i saw someone i knew juz now.. but nt confirm.. so dun dare to call out or what.. it's better lah.. anyway pple usually dun really tk note of their surroundings.. sian sian and more sian.. think they're getting the baseball bag.. den they saw the polo tee i'm wearing for PT, den they say nice oso.. ask for catalogue.. sian lor.. DUN HAVE.. haizz.... they're going to monique's for Monopoly ltr.. den staying over.. i'm nt going.. tml meeting up wif 150+ and frens.. so well, gd.. can slack.. coz i'm real tired now..
karin MIA for quite long le.. den heard tt her results nt gd, dens ome subjects she took 3 times.. so think drop out bah.. well, now even worse.. the whole team like mostly guys.. today i abit lucky.. got monique and didi to accompany me..
i'm slowly turning into a guy.. think so.. now so rough.. den so crap.. NOT "ladylike" as all gers are "supposed" to be.. but i think i like myself this way more.. who cares anyway..
today really horrible.. 1st thing is the damn weather.. we all sweating like crazy.. like on tap.. den got 3 groups of soccer pple playing on the field.. 3 grps!!!!!! despite our "warning", they continued playing.. actually it doesnt matter to me but ken they all make such a big fuss over it tt i m very sian..
after training got PT.. as usual, warm up AGAIN, run, den do sprintings.. den warm down.. today still nt so bad.. but the very sian thing was tt after training den got breeze.. haizz.. always lidat de..make me suffer sia..
think i saw someone i knew juz now.. but nt confirm.. so dun dare to call out or what.. it's better lah.. anyway pple usually dun really tk note of their surroundings.. sian sian and more sian.. think they're getting the baseball bag.. den they saw the polo tee i'm wearing for PT, den they say nice oso.. ask for catalogue.. sian lor.. DUN HAVE.. haizz.... they're going to monique's for Monopoly ltr.. den staying over.. i'm nt going.. tml meeting up wif 150+ and frens.. so well, gd.. can slack.. coz i'm real tired now..
15th may is here FINALLY!!!
realised today is 15 may.. well, that ends everything doesnt it?
think i'm being blocked... coz i'm beginning to feel that wat i've done to elaine someone else is doing to me.. that kinda feeling.. coz for soooooo long le.. it's nt possible that it's happening for so many days..
didnt even know wat to do.. dunno whether i shld send the msg and dunno if i would get a reply.. in the end decided to forget it.. sianz.. anyway, y disturb pple when they are out having a gd time? yahor.. at night leh.. MS lah.. last time got mention to me b4..
can anyone tell me y it's sjab all over again? y it's uniform grp again? coincidence? or what? see liao oso dun feel very gd.. y cant it be bball or sth? arbo choir? or maybe wushu or what..
saw IT at a lovegety card machine ytd wif ching.. same thing i've beeen looking at that's nv changing.. same thing, juz tt i like the other one more, coz abit more design, special.. nv change de.. so cannot know alot of things by seeing.. abit hard to understand lah.. but really dun, coz cant intend to anyway..
same feelings, same kinda thots.. thinking, thinking.. mei you mei you.. better wake up soon.. i think if wat i guess is correct, den i've been doing the same thing.. well, wat can i say? nothing.. PIG head!
think i'm being blocked... coz i'm beginning to feel that wat i've done to elaine someone else is doing to me.. that kinda feeling.. coz for soooooo long le.. it's nt possible that it's happening for so many days..
didnt even know wat to do.. dunno whether i shld send the msg and dunno if i would get a reply.. in the end decided to forget it.. sianz.. anyway, y disturb pple when they are out having a gd time? yahor.. at night leh.. MS lah.. last time got mention to me b4..
can anyone tell me y it's sjab all over again? y it's uniform grp again? coincidence? or what? see liao oso dun feel very gd.. y cant it be bball or sth? arbo choir? or maybe wushu or what..
saw IT at a lovegety card machine ytd wif ching.. same thing i've beeen looking at that's nv changing.. same thing, juz tt i like the other one more, coz abit more design, special.. nv change de.. so cannot know alot of things by seeing.. abit hard to understand lah.. but really dun, coz cant intend to anyway..
same feelings, same kinda thots.. thinking, thinking.. mei you mei you.. better wake up soon.. i think if wat i guess is correct, den i've been doing the same thing.. well, wat can i say? nothing.. PIG head!
crap
couldnt help posting again.. i hate healthy diet, healthy lifestyle and what not.. and that ken told me to go work out more coz i'm always slacking.. damn.. was telling him tt building up body mass and den ltr nt exercising for a period of time turn all those muscles to crap.. really.. den he said sth like den can keep exercising and stay healthy.. as if i nt healthy by nt exercising lidat.. i very healthy de hor..
been eating quite alot of fritus recently.. coz my family loves watermelon and pineapple.. and nowadays, my parents keep buying.. so i keep eating.. den my grandpa's house my aunt always buys apples, pears and oranges.. so once in awhile got eat the 1st 2 types.. skip oranges.. too mafan.. wah.. healthy lifestyle aint always gd sia.. feeling abit uncomfortable now.. maybe coz of the large intake of fruits.. tired.. but cant sleep.. tt's why writing crap here.. sianz... haa.. remember the 2 and 2 innovation.. quite funnny lah.. we wont measure them anyway..
hmm.. realised why deuter bag always so ex.. coz even though u put alot of stuff into the bag, it still feels quite light.. manageable.. and comfortable.. although u'll look like a hunchback weirdo tortise with the big bagpack, u wont waste alot of energy by carrying it ard.. so it's a great plus point.. coz after i put all my archery stuff, plus the super big baseball bag inside, to let the team see tml, the bag is still well, comfy.. but i look weird.. but who cares anyway.. wat i feel is more important den wat pple think..
been eating quite alot of fritus recently.. coz my family loves watermelon and pineapple.. and nowadays, my parents keep buying.. so i keep eating.. den my grandpa's house my aunt always buys apples, pears and oranges.. so once in awhile got eat the 1st 2 types.. skip oranges.. too mafan.. wah.. healthy lifestyle aint always gd sia.. feeling abit uncomfortable now.. maybe coz of the large intake of fruits.. tired.. but cant sleep.. tt's why writing crap here.. sianz... haa.. remember the 2 and 2 innovation.. quite funnny lah.. we wont measure them anyway..
hmm.. realised why deuter bag always so ex.. coz even though u put alot of stuff into the bag, it still feels quite light.. manageable.. and comfortable.. although u'll look like a hunchback weirdo tortise with the big bagpack, u wont waste alot of energy by carrying it ard.. so it's a great plus point.. coz after i put all my archery stuff, plus the super big baseball bag inside, to let the team see tml, the bag is still well, comfy.. but i look weird.. but who cares anyway.. wat i feel is more important den wat pple think..
Friday, May 14
again~ sian den dun read.. nt impt anyway..
hmm.. got gd and bad news.. usually, pple ask for the bad news 1st.. well, i'm going to giv the gd news 1st..
gd news: my maternal grandpa.. struvk lottery.. $2000..
bad news: well, that same uncle of mine, sort of irritates me again.. he drove all the way to holland and fetch him to his house near LOT 1.. usually he will grumble and say that it's out of the way and that others can go and fetch him coz they oso own cars.. well, tok abt how filial this person is.. once there's incentive, den he'll do it.. damn.. last time i grumble abt him, this time gotta do it again..
damn.. always lidat le.. stick out his hand and tk money.. he thinks money falls from the sky.. as if lah.. it's nt like i dunno why he go all "out of the way" to fetch my grandpa to his house.. nt as if i'm some stupid 10-yr-old kid.. it's clear tt he wants a share of the money.. and today is not even sat or sun.. it's a fri for goodness sake.. he's not so kind to "invite" my grandpa to his house to see see look look k..
well, nt that i wanna flare up over this small thing.. juz abit da bao bu ping for my grandpa.. and coz i really dunno y some pple are lidat..
went to visit my paternal grandpa today.. well, 1st thing i asked is whether he had his dinner.. he said ya.. den asked if he's feeeling better.. he said ya again.. hmm.. heard from my mom that alot of pple called juz to ask if he has had his meals.. concern bah.. but same qns over and over again.. think he'll also be sian of it.. same qn, so same reply..
learning to slow down.. it's when everything stops moving that fast that i get a chance to look at things clearer.. to make better decisions, to keep my temper at check and to calm myself down and allow myself to think and react sensibly.. if nt it'll definitely be a nightmare.. slowly, bit by bit, think i can do it.. muz hav confidence.. if dun hav, den i'll have my intake of cocoa and well, it's a fabulous short term solution..
gd news: my maternal grandpa.. struvk lottery.. $2000..
bad news: well, that same uncle of mine, sort of irritates me again.. he drove all the way to holland and fetch him to his house near LOT 1.. usually he will grumble and say that it's out of the way and that others can go and fetch him coz they oso own cars.. well, tok abt how filial this person is.. once there's incentive, den he'll do it.. damn.. last time i grumble abt him, this time gotta do it again..
damn.. always lidat le.. stick out his hand and tk money.. he thinks money falls from the sky.. as if lah.. it's nt like i dunno why he go all "out of the way" to fetch my grandpa to his house.. nt as if i'm some stupid 10-yr-old kid.. it's clear tt he wants a share of the money.. and today is not even sat or sun.. it's a fri for goodness sake.. he's not so kind to "invite" my grandpa to his house to see see look look k..
well, nt that i wanna flare up over this small thing.. juz abit da bao bu ping for my grandpa.. and coz i really dunno y some pple are lidat..
went to visit my paternal grandpa today.. well, 1st thing i asked is whether he had his dinner.. he said ya.. den asked if he's feeeling better.. he said ya again.. hmm.. heard from my mom that alot of pple called juz to ask if he has had his meals.. concern bah.. but same qns over and over again.. think he'll also be sian of it.. same qn, so same reply..
learning to slow down.. it's when everything stops moving that fast that i get a chance to look at things clearer.. to make better decisions, to keep my temper at check and to calm myself down and allow myself to think and react sensibly.. if nt it'll definitely be a nightmare.. slowly, bit by bit, think i can do it.. muz hav confidence.. if dun hav, den i'll have my intake of cocoa and well, it's a fabulous short term solution..
lalla
think it's 14.. think i can confirm that it's 14... lolx.. but too late le lah.. abit weird too.. anyway, it'll be over soon.. lolx.. sam going off le.. think she's at the airport now.. will always rem the anti-trust times.. haha.. christine's back.. she remembers alakazam!! lolx.. and well, alot of things lah.. alot of students on the streets today, jam up the whole orchard!!!
aiyo.. really horrigible lor.. cannot believe it sia.. like ants lidat..somemore the weather so terrible.. den as u all know ar.. alot of girls together means alot of screaming.. esp when they see sth real "cute".. arbo is when they taking photos.. lolx.. and gers ar.. they walk quite slow de.. esp when 2 or more get together.. den alot of voices all over.. and well, 5 shows of TROY and yet we cant get any tickets.. damn! 5 SHOWS!!!! not 1.. and it's in cine!! not in some small GV theatre k.. damn sian sia.. cannot watch movie, everywhere oso crowded.. the weather so hot and humid.. makes me real sian and tired.. like no huo li, as peiliang would put it.. den he'll start to teach aerobics.. wondering how's their "cooking" session at boling's house.. how his fish burger taste like..
Boling: how's the food? nice? got chao ta anot? any1 got food poisoning? or u all go ta bao long john? hee
thinking whether i shld change the music to greensleeves.. lolx.. will.. but nt so soon.. maybe nxt week.. coz tian shi up nt too long ago.. hee.. so enjoy while u can..
aiyo.. really horrigible lor.. cannot believe it sia.. like ants lidat..somemore the weather so terrible.. den as u all know ar.. alot of girls together means alot of screaming.. esp when they see sth real "cute".. arbo is when they taking photos.. lolx.. and gers ar.. they walk quite slow de.. esp when 2 or more get together.. den alot of voices all over.. and well, 5 shows of TROY and yet we cant get any tickets.. damn! 5 SHOWS!!!! not 1.. and it's in cine!! not in some small GV theatre k.. damn sian sia.. cannot watch movie, everywhere oso crowded.. the weather so hot and humid.. makes me real sian and tired.. like no huo li, as peiliang would put it.. den he'll start to teach aerobics.. wondering how's their "cooking" session at boling's house.. how his fish burger taste like..
Boling: how's the food? nice? got chao ta anot? any1 got food poisoning? or u all go ta bao long john? hee
thinking whether i shld change the music to greensleeves.. lolx.. will.. but nt so soon.. maybe nxt week.. coz tian shi up nt too long ago.. hee.. so enjoy while u can..
hao li hai
mi is HAO LI HAI de.. mai siao siao.. ah ku last time from hao li hai.. that explains why everyone i know oso buay pai.. hao li hai (holy high) pple like me ar.. of course gd in alot of things lah.. arbo u think y we all so kiang? coz we're the best sch in upper serabgoon sia.. that's y we're hao li hai.. the unbeatables... lolx..
well, my bro and his frens actually came up wif this name for my sec sch.. way to go boon~ lolx.. was laughing my head off... no doubt pple frm holy is indeed kiang... lolx.. wise and witty pple ar... haha..
den now boon and gang using the cheena accent to tok to pple.. wah piang... pengz*
but damn funny.. like they're frm china.. taht time they ate at some restaurant and the waitor asked them if they're from china.. lolx.. damn lame...
ching.. that person msg juz now: hi, i'm david. i m so glad to meet u there. would u be my friend?
2nd msg: hello, have y got my message?.
lolx.. nt intending to reply.. got a very sui plan in my mind... coz i already set the no. as "speak in chinese" haha.. so nxt time IF he calls, den i use the china voice and speak to him in chinese.. ok.. i admit tt i'm crazy and mad right now.. oh my~ crazy=mad right? aiya.. nvm.. but i intending to do that.. sounds fun.. quite long nv do crazy things and have crazy ideas liao.. lolx.. will update u if anything happens.. anyway, i never read any emails with "hi" as the subject.. and will block the sender.. so, well, happy. =)
well, my bro and his frens actually came up wif this name for my sec sch.. way to go boon~ lolx.. was laughing my head off... no doubt pple frm holy is indeed kiang... lolx.. wise and witty pple ar... haha..
den now boon and gang using the cheena accent to tok to pple.. wah piang... pengz*
but damn funny.. like they're frm china.. taht time they ate at some restaurant and the waitor asked them if they're from china.. lolx.. damn lame...
ching.. that person msg juz now: hi, i'm david. i m so glad to meet u there. would u be my friend?
2nd msg: hello, have y got my message?.
lolx.. nt intending to reply.. got a very sui plan in my mind... coz i already set the no. as "speak in chinese" haha.. so nxt time IF he calls, den i use the china voice and speak to him in chinese.. ok.. i admit tt i'm crazy and mad right now.. oh my~ crazy=mad right? aiya.. nvm.. but i intending to do that.. sounds fun.. quite long nv do crazy things and have crazy ideas liao.. lolx.. will update u if anything happens.. anyway, i never read any emails with "hi" as the subject.. and will block the sender.. so, well, happy. =)
self-worth
juz finished eating my kinder bueno.. all thanks to celi.. hee..
while eating, i took out this box and saw this notebook of mine tt i nv touch for quite sometime.. inside ar.. alot of meaningful stuff.. shall "extract" 1 entry.. here it goes:
self-worth: what we think of ourselves.
- It shows up in the things we say or do, even in the way we receive compliments. have you ever noticed how many pple squirm when they receive a compliment? do you ever ger uncomfortable when u receive one? you shouldnt.
A compliment is someone else's opinion, their positive appraisal. dont step on that person's worthy evaluation. ask urself, "who am i to negate this person's assessment of me?"
so accept their comment graciously, thank them and allow their compliment to find a home in ur heart. it's important to learn how to receive praise. how do u learn to accept compliments graciously? when someone praises you, simply say "thank you" without giving in to any urge to minimise being worthy of the praise..
lolx.. while reading, i was thinking: shld i learn to be like her more? den maybe i can think that i'm all-wonderful and maybe lah, juz maybe, pple will stop giving compliments coz i'm abit too bhb? lolx.. well, it sounds like a great idea.. hmm.. but u see ar.. when i'm ard her and pple give her compliments, sometimes i hear a tinge of sarcasm.. or maybe i think too much... but it aint that gd mah.. like pple try to fake u by saying sth good with the wrong tone.. den the worse thing is when one cant recognise the wrong tone and accept the compliment as it is, wrong tone and all.. anyway, it's hard not to match wat pple say to wat u think and feel abt urself..hmm.. dunno how to end off this thing.. when i'm free, will add on..
while eating, i took out this box and saw this notebook of mine tt i nv touch for quite sometime.. inside ar.. alot of meaningful stuff.. shall "extract" 1 entry.. here it goes:
self-worth: what we think of ourselves.
- It shows up in the things we say or do, even in the way we receive compliments. have you ever noticed how many pple squirm when they receive a compliment? do you ever ger uncomfortable when u receive one? you shouldnt.
A compliment is someone else's opinion, their positive appraisal. dont step on that person's worthy evaluation. ask urself, "who am i to negate this person's assessment of me?"
so accept their comment graciously, thank them and allow their compliment to find a home in ur heart. it's important to learn how to receive praise. how do u learn to accept compliments graciously? when someone praises you, simply say "thank you" without giving in to any urge to minimise being worthy of the praise..
lolx.. while reading, i was thinking: shld i learn to be like her more? den maybe i can think that i'm all-wonderful and maybe lah, juz maybe, pple will stop giving compliments coz i'm abit too bhb? lolx.. well, it sounds like a great idea.. hmm.. but u see ar.. when i'm ard her and pple give her compliments, sometimes i hear a tinge of sarcasm.. or maybe i think too much... but it aint that gd mah.. like pple try to fake u by saying sth good with the wrong tone.. den the worse thing is when one cant recognise the wrong tone and accept the compliment as it is, wrong tone and all.. anyway, it's hard not to match wat pple say to wat u think and feel abt urself..hmm.. dunno how to end off this thing.. when i'm free, will add on..
grandpa
woke up at 12 but decided to continue with my dreams.. so went back to slp, and dreaming, till 1.. went to my grandpa's house, coz my mom was telling me that he is sick, and weak..
as usual, he's lying on the bed.. from time to time, i was called by my aunt, uncle and mom to "look after" him.. wat can i do? there's nth much to do there except to sit in the room and literally "look" at him.. and as usual, we exchanged the same few words.. like sch holidays liao, where's my siblings and that's all..
heard from the adults that he nv eat anything for abt a week le.. den dun wanna tk anything, even water.. is so weak that he cant even stand.. so have to sit holding the bar for support, or lie on the bed.. when i asked him whether he had lunch, he replied with "dun hav any appetite, waiting to die.." well, 1st time i hear sth so, well, negative from him.. actually i seldom tok to him and actually getting a response is quite surprising.. he's the very strict kinda grandpa...someone that the whole household respect and dun dare to go against anything that he says or wants us to do.. that's why we've all been affected with a very different kinda upbringing.. when i was young, i even had to ask for permission to open the fridge, and it's a "law" that we cant drink water during meals.. coz there's soup.. and we're nt supposed to tok and chat and enjoy the meal.. nor are we supposed to run abt the house playing.. alot of unwritten rules.. all put into place without anybody saying anything.. juz.. house-rules maybe..
he's nt like my grandpa on my mom's side.. u all call it maternal grandpa? watever~ the other one was more of the fun loving grandpa.. one who dotes on the grandchildren, brings us to the playground, plays with us, laugh with us, no strict rules.. they're TOTAL opposites... we kids used to insist that he piggyback us and brings us shopping, to the arcade, begging him to buy sweets, soft drinks, toys, and watever for us.. therefore the bonds between me and the 2 grandpas are very diff.. one would look after me when i'm sick, talks to me, watch tv with me and what not while the other one will "order" me to switch off the tv.. it's hard not to be bias.. coz i am..
looking at how helpless he is makes me feel very bad.. when i sat beside him in the room, waiting to help him when needed, he suddenly asked me if his feet are turning black.. 1st things 1st, i had to get over my initial shock of him actually speaking to me and asking me a qn outside sch and my siblings.. den the qn he asked was somehow... weird.. it nv occurred to me how old he is now.. coz to me, the "power" he has in the house nv decrease, after so many yrs..
i had to bluff him and say no.. and i divert the topic.. to how dry his skin is.. imagine nt working ur blood vessels much for abt a week.. and together with the old age, slow and inefficient blood flow is normal.. that's when i decided to massage his feet.. juz to try and see if it helps the blood circulation.. couldnt help much coz i dun learn much from st.johns.. juz trying to see whether it works.. so i juz kneel there beside his bed while he lie there, looking so helpless, and massage his feet.. for more den half an hr.. my cousin walked in and helped too, asking if i really know how to do it.. duh~ if i know, i would be doing it long b4 today.. coz my grandpa got weak legs..
while massaging, he reminded me to wash my hands later.. to say frankly, this is the 1st time i remember him saying sth with the tiniest bit of concern.. i did that till he fell asleep and my cousin walked in again and asked me to leave the room and let him sleep.. it is only after tt that i found out that he couldnt really slp these few days.. juz lying or sitting there..
as expected, he skipped dinner.. 1st time nt having dinner with him in the house makes it weird.. although with or without him, it's no diff, coz we cant chat while having our meals, it's still feels funny.. like he hasnt had his dinner and i already ate.. my aunt and uncle was trying to persuade him to allow them to call the doctor up but well, he refused.. like my late grandma, he is afraid that the doctor would send him to the hospital and i think, the thought of dying on a hospital bed instead of home is a strong enuff fear to deter medical help.. as usual, we cant do anything abt it.. but i went down to buy those glucose thingy and he drank 1 small cup.. at least that's better den nth..
am feeling guilty.. coz for yrs, i've always like the other grandpa more den him.. even though the other grandpa tells me that he's waiting to die every now and den, it's a diff story altogether coz he tells me in a jokingly manner.. and i always "nag" at him, jokingly too.. this one is diff.. i can sense that he's slowing losing hope.. and life slowly seeping away.. even the air in the room feels different.. more still.. this is the 1st time in yrs that i voluntarily keep going back into his room and check, pop in to see if he's alright, need any help or what.. 1st time i aint tired of staying in the room with nth to do..
i dun like it i dun like it and i dun like it.. juz tk away my eyes.. anyway, now, 12 or 14 doesnt seem to matter anymore.. some qns have to be left unanswered.. they're juz not meant to be.. ...
as usual, he's lying on the bed.. from time to time, i was called by my aunt, uncle and mom to "look after" him.. wat can i do? there's nth much to do there except to sit in the room and literally "look" at him.. and as usual, we exchanged the same few words.. like sch holidays liao, where's my siblings and that's all..
heard from the adults that he nv eat anything for abt a week le.. den dun wanna tk anything, even water.. is so weak that he cant even stand.. so have to sit holding the bar for support, or lie on the bed.. when i asked him whether he had lunch, he replied with "dun hav any appetite, waiting to die.." well, 1st time i hear sth so, well, negative from him.. actually i seldom tok to him and actually getting a response is quite surprising.. he's the very strict kinda grandpa...someone that the whole household respect and dun dare to go against anything that he says or wants us to do.. that's why we've all been affected with a very different kinda upbringing.. when i was young, i even had to ask for permission to open the fridge, and it's a "law" that we cant drink water during meals.. coz there's soup.. and we're nt supposed to tok and chat and enjoy the meal.. nor are we supposed to run abt the house playing.. alot of unwritten rules.. all put into place without anybody saying anything.. juz.. house-rules maybe..
he's nt like my grandpa on my mom's side.. u all call it maternal grandpa? watever~ the other one was more of the fun loving grandpa.. one who dotes on the grandchildren, brings us to the playground, plays with us, laugh with us, no strict rules.. they're TOTAL opposites... we kids used to insist that he piggyback us and brings us shopping, to the arcade, begging him to buy sweets, soft drinks, toys, and watever for us.. therefore the bonds between me and the 2 grandpas are very diff.. one would look after me when i'm sick, talks to me, watch tv with me and what not while the other one will "order" me to switch off the tv.. it's hard not to be bias.. coz i am..
looking at how helpless he is makes me feel very bad.. when i sat beside him in the room, waiting to help him when needed, he suddenly asked me if his feet are turning black.. 1st things 1st, i had to get over my initial shock of him actually speaking to me and asking me a qn outside sch and my siblings.. den the qn he asked was somehow... weird.. it nv occurred to me how old he is now.. coz to me, the "power" he has in the house nv decrease, after so many yrs..
i had to bluff him and say no.. and i divert the topic.. to how dry his skin is.. imagine nt working ur blood vessels much for abt a week.. and together with the old age, slow and inefficient blood flow is normal.. that's when i decided to massage his feet.. juz to try and see if it helps the blood circulation.. couldnt help much coz i dun learn much from st.johns.. juz trying to see whether it works.. so i juz kneel there beside his bed while he lie there, looking so helpless, and massage his feet.. for more den half an hr.. my cousin walked in and helped too, asking if i really know how to do it.. duh~ if i know, i would be doing it long b4 today.. coz my grandpa got weak legs..
while massaging, he reminded me to wash my hands later.. to say frankly, this is the 1st time i remember him saying sth with the tiniest bit of concern.. i did that till he fell asleep and my cousin walked in again and asked me to leave the room and let him sleep.. it is only after tt that i found out that he couldnt really slp these few days.. juz lying or sitting there..
as expected, he skipped dinner.. 1st time nt having dinner with him in the house makes it weird.. although with or without him, it's no diff, coz we cant chat while having our meals, it's still feels funny.. like he hasnt had his dinner and i already ate.. my aunt and uncle was trying to persuade him to allow them to call the doctor up but well, he refused.. like my late grandma, he is afraid that the doctor would send him to the hospital and i think, the thought of dying on a hospital bed instead of home is a strong enuff fear to deter medical help.. as usual, we cant do anything abt it.. but i went down to buy those glucose thingy and he drank 1 small cup.. at least that's better den nth..
am feeling guilty.. coz for yrs, i've always like the other grandpa more den him.. even though the other grandpa tells me that he's waiting to die every now and den, it's a diff story altogether coz he tells me in a jokingly manner.. and i always "nag" at him, jokingly too.. this one is diff.. i can sense that he's slowing losing hope.. and life slowly seeping away.. even the air in the room feels different.. more still.. this is the 1st time in yrs that i voluntarily keep going back into his room and check, pop in to see if he's alright, need any help or what.. 1st time i aint tired of staying in the room with nth to do..
i dun like it i dun like it and i dun like it.. juz tk away my eyes.. anyway, now, 12 or 14 doesnt seem to matter anymore.. some qns have to be left unanswered.. they're juz not meant to be.. ...
Wednesday, May 12
7th entry
got the song up.. but didnt managed to get the paperheart pic back... sianz.. tired. dun feel like doing.. and nt motivated to do anyway.. huihui msg and told me shes gotta hav operation CRH.. lolx.. cannot match her ideas wif her face sia... those ?? will come up de.. well, feeling very sian right now..
looking at the big dreamcatcher hanging in my bro's room remind me of 150+ they all.. hmm.. that was like 2 yrs ago... having Os that yr... so nice... in the middle of my stupid A maths text qns.. and wanting to tear the book in half coz my A maths real lousy den cant seem to get the solutions... den somemore that day my bro and sis going to genting wif my aunt and cousins.. makes me even madder.. coz i'm left alone feeling miserable at home, trying hard nt to pull all my hair out coz of some maths qns, living only with sound from the motor of the fishtank, making me more irritated..
that's when they appeared and save me from the slow and painful death of rotting... sort of broke the horrible spell.. was feeling quite bad coz it's my bdae and yet everyone is busy studying.. sianz... den tt time sam oso nt free.. i even more sian.. luckily got them... hmm.. dunno wat to say..
but i'm nt like yp.. my reaction was nt like hers last week.. soooo diff.. happy i was but i aint like her.. gd in some ways, bad in some ways.. haizz... tired le lah... dun say liao..
actually include this entry coz wanna break my record of 6 entries/day... wanna make it 7.. well, here it is..
looking at the big dreamcatcher hanging in my bro's room remind me of 150+ they all.. hmm.. that was like 2 yrs ago... having Os that yr... so nice... in the middle of my stupid A maths text qns.. and wanting to tear the book in half coz my A maths real lousy den cant seem to get the solutions... den somemore that day my bro and sis going to genting wif my aunt and cousins.. makes me even madder.. coz i'm left alone feeling miserable at home, trying hard nt to pull all my hair out coz of some maths qns, living only with sound from the motor of the fishtank, making me more irritated..
that's when they appeared and save me from the slow and painful death of rotting... sort of broke the horrible spell.. was feeling quite bad coz it's my bdae and yet everyone is busy studying.. sianz... den tt time sam oso nt free.. i even more sian.. luckily got them... hmm.. dunno wat to say..
but i'm nt like yp.. my reaction was nt like hers last week.. soooo diff.. happy i was but i aint like her.. gd in some ways, bad in some ways.. haizz... tired le lah... dun say liao..
actually include this entry coz wanna break my record of 6 entries/day... wanna make it 7.. well, here it is..
some religion stuff
lolx... ei pple.. here's sth for u all to read, and chillz... got it frm the web..
[yo theres never a need to worry cuz god knows all..but then again if god do knows all, maybe u should worry. think about it......]
[i just started reading the Bible again and noticed something strange. The Bible states that the Holy Ghost is everything.....so, that must mean he is gay, straight, queer, transsexual, the dirty socks under my bed, my cars fan belt, Clinton, rascist, a member of the KKK, and a fuckin dildo. Hmmm, i guess when God actually wrote the Bible, he didnt think ahead did he?]
[One thing that I cant understand is why other religions cant be accepting of someones faith or lack thereof. My friend Jimmy has Satan Luvs Us All across his abdomen and when some Christian see's it they begin to preach abouth the importance of accepting their God. If they had so much faith in their God they wouldn't worry about negative thoughts or beliefs of others. It seems its their way or no way. ]
[ok here's a little tid bit that has been boggling my mind for quite some time. Alright so if we are all desendence from Adam and Eve how did so many people of so many ethnicites come to be from 2 people. There must be some insest going on somewhere in there. Let's just as we all are desendence from Adam and Eve. The whole world would be made of sick freakish weirdo's. As if it wasn't any way. But they say is there is a child born as a product of insest it is genetically inferior in mny respects. According to this then we are all for lack of a better term mentally and or physically handycaped. Some more than other depending on their heritage. ]
lolx.. still got A LOT more.. but aint gonna blog it down... YET... haha.. tk time to enjoy ya..
nxt time den add on... wahahahahahah... *evil grins..
oh.. and to those who well, are very religious, i'm nt trying to criticise any particular religion or what.. juz tk it that the god i'm toking abt is everybody's god.. right.. dun get too uptight abt it and anyhow make assumptions.. den get upset and mad with me... haha.. coz u have ur own beliefs and i have mine... lolx.. and well, these are nt comments frm me either... lolx.. if that makes u madder, den well, wat more can i say? lolx... hahahaha
[yo theres never a need to worry cuz god knows all..but then again if god do knows all, maybe u should worry. think about it......]
[i just started reading the Bible again and noticed something strange. The Bible states that the Holy Ghost is everything.....so, that must mean he is gay, straight, queer, transsexual, the dirty socks under my bed, my cars fan belt, Clinton, rascist, a member of the KKK, and a fuckin dildo. Hmmm, i guess when God actually wrote the Bible, he didnt think ahead did he?]
[One thing that I cant understand is why other religions cant be accepting of someones faith or lack thereof. My friend Jimmy has Satan Luvs Us All across his abdomen and when some Christian see's it they begin to preach abouth the importance of accepting their God. If they had so much faith in their God they wouldn't worry about negative thoughts or beliefs of others. It seems its their way or no way. ]
[ok here's a little tid bit that has been boggling my mind for quite some time. Alright so if we are all desendence from Adam and Eve how did so many people of so many ethnicites come to be from 2 people. There must be some insest going on somewhere in there. Let's just as we all are desendence from Adam and Eve. The whole world would be made of sick freakish weirdo's. As if it wasn't any way. But they say is there is a child born as a product of insest it is genetically inferior in mny respects. According to this then we are all for lack of a better term mentally and or physically handycaped. Some more than other depending on their heritage. ]
lolx.. still got A LOT more.. but aint gonna blog it down... YET... haha.. tk time to enjoy ya..
nxt time den add on... wahahahahahah... *evil grins..
oh.. and to those who well, are very religious, i'm nt trying to criticise any particular religion or what.. juz tk it that the god i'm toking abt is everybody's god.. right.. dun get too uptight abt it and anyhow make assumptions.. den get upset and mad with me... haha.. coz u have ur own beliefs and i have mine... lolx.. and well, these are nt comments frm me either... lolx.. if that makes u madder, den well, wat more can i say? lolx... hahahaha
her and them.. 12th may
raining days~ really feel like going back to slp.. in my comfy bed.. budden got training.. woke up coz my dad actually wanted me to go and "see" my grandma.. hmm... it's been like... 5 yrs? since she passed away.. den everybody is like still going there and pray and what not every week or so.. i know she lives in our memory forever.. but how long can u tok to a urn of ashes and some wood pieces at a air-conditioned place that's nt very big? and they usually stay there for abt an hr or 2.. juz to tok to her and wat not..
i know she's a great person.. that ii cant deny.. but it's been soooo long already.. since 1999.. den here they are folding those paper thingy into "gold" and dunno wat to burn.. actually wanted to tell them that it's a waste of time.. coz when they start, they sit there and fold and fold and fold into bags and bags and bags.. den they burn and burn and burn.. i mean when there's an occasion like the death anniversary or what, i dun mind.. but like every now and then they will do this kinda things..
worse still, they simply love buying those stuff for her.. it's like.. i think she got more den 30 sets of clothes and more den 5 sets of teapots, and nt to forget tables, handphones, refrigerators, umbrellas and what not.. those stuff tt u can find in the "real" world, they can find in paper form..
they say by folding the paper into gold, it increases the value in the "other world".. and that she is rich enuff to open a bank there.. i mean.. how would they know she hasnt gone for her next life or what? and that the pple there who're in charge of "Delivering" those stuff to her aint corrupted? coz u see, there muz be some kinda delivering system.. mauybe like fedex or sth.. and coz the poor pple there need to work mah.. right?
i mean.. it's gd that they're filial, VERY.... budden sometimes i wonder y they're doing those things... think since 5 yrs ago, they've already make more den 50 bags of offferings.. and the bags right, are those big big recycle green bags or the black trash bags... and they fold the incense paper into small small "gold" and den fill up bags and bags and bags of it.. what's their point? i only go and "see" her abt 1/10 the times they do.. coz most of the days i nt free.. like sat or sch days.. and well, i always tell them that she lives in my memory and that having her in my heart is more den enuff, to me.. well, they always respect my decision, so nt so bad..
looney juz told me that training is at 3 instead of 1.. well, i woke up sooooo early for what sia.. waste my slping time.. if i know earlier, den i'll go wif them to "See" her.. coz juz now my dad told me abt the time they'd be back den it clashes with the time i'll be going for training.. den ususally after i come home frm there i would bathe and what not.. den muz prepare to go to sch.. so abit mafan..
well, dunno wat to say to her also.. see her picture there smiling, den really dunno wat to say.. tell her who i am, maybe a super summary of what i did, like my results or what.. ask her qns that she would nv be able to answer, and well, nth much le.. stand ard.. think of last time.. slack there while they take pleasure looking at other pple's pics and their death date and what not.. kids's pic or relatives' pics..
when someone is no longer ard, u'll hav flashback memory of certain pics and scenes from last time.. the way she hold her chopsticks the way she hold her bowl during dinner time.. the way she smiles when i help to sweep and mop the floor.. the way she smokes and laugh with my grandpa and " blow smoke" for us to catch.. and so on... it's like pieces of a dream.. yet it's real.. really did happen..
okay..y am i saying all these i oso dunno... maybe coz today is her death anniversary? actually i cant rem.. to me, she passed away on mothers' day.. coz it was 1999's mother's day.. and to me, it'll forever be that day, and nothing else..
anyway, it's really getting way toooo long for a blog entry... and most pple wont bother to read the whole long thing unless they're really bored like me.. coz i also skip my frens' long blog entries if i dunno wat he or she is toking abt, or when i know the things they're toking abt and there's no point in me reading them.. lolx.. well, so far so good.. heck.. the avg entry/day is like increasing... i can feel it... suddenly got the craving for fruit flo.. haizz... BL and YP going far east today leh... i cant go... damn sian.. stuck in sch shooting and carrying boards and stands on a raining day... den running on the muddy field.. and getting wet.. den coming home feeling real uncomfortable and stinky.. sianz~
i know she's a great person.. that ii cant deny.. but it's been soooo long already.. since 1999.. den here they are folding those paper thingy into "gold" and dunno wat to burn.. actually wanted to tell them that it's a waste of time.. coz when they start, they sit there and fold and fold and fold into bags and bags and bags.. den they burn and burn and burn.. i mean when there's an occasion like the death anniversary or what, i dun mind.. but like every now and then they will do this kinda things..
worse still, they simply love buying those stuff for her.. it's like.. i think she got more den 30 sets of clothes and more den 5 sets of teapots, and nt to forget tables, handphones, refrigerators, umbrellas and what not.. those stuff tt u can find in the "real" world, they can find in paper form..
they say by folding the paper into gold, it increases the value in the "other world".. and that she is rich enuff to open a bank there.. i mean.. how would they know she hasnt gone for her next life or what? and that the pple there who're in charge of "Delivering" those stuff to her aint corrupted? coz u see, there muz be some kinda delivering system.. mauybe like fedex or sth.. and coz the poor pple there need to work mah.. right?
i mean.. it's gd that they're filial, VERY.... budden sometimes i wonder y they're doing those things... think since 5 yrs ago, they've already make more den 50 bags of offferings.. and the bags right, are those big big recycle green bags or the black trash bags... and they fold the incense paper into small small "gold" and den fill up bags and bags and bags of it.. what's their point? i only go and "see" her abt 1/10 the times they do.. coz most of the days i nt free.. like sat or sch days.. and well, i always tell them that she lives in my memory and that having her in my heart is more den enuff, to me.. well, they always respect my decision, so nt so bad..
looney juz told me that training is at 3 instead of 1.. well, i woke up sooooo early for what sia.. waste my slping time.. if i know earlier, den i'll go wif them to "See" her.. coz juz now my dad told me abt the time they'd be back den it clashes with the time i'll be going for training.. den ususally after i come home frm there i would bathe and what not.. den muz prepare to go to sch.. so abit mafan..
well, dunno wat to say to her also.. see her picture there smiling, den really dunno wat to say.. tell her who i am, maybe a super summary of what i did, like my results or what.. ask her qns that she would nv be able to answer, and well, nth much le.. stand ard.. think of last time.. slack there while they take pleasure looking at other pple's pics and their death date and what not.. kids's pic or relatives' pics..
when someone is no longer ard, u'll hav flashback memory of certain pics and scenes from last time.. the way she hold her chopsticks the way she hold her bowl during dinner time.. the way she smiles when i help to sweep and mop the floor.. the way she smokes and laugh with my grandpa and " blow smoke" for us to catch.. and so on... it's like pieces of a dream.. yet it's real.. really did happen..
okay..y am i saying all these i oso dunno... maybe coz today is her death anniversary? actually i cant rem.. to me, she passed away on mothers' day.. coz it was 1999's mother's day.. and to me, it'll forever be that day, and nothing else..
anyway, it's really getting way toooo long for a blog entry... and most pple wont bother to read the whole long thing unless they're really bored like me.. coz i also skip my frens' long blog entries if i dunno wat he or she is toking abt, or when i know the things they're toking abt and there's no point in me reading them.. lolx.. well, so far so good.. heck.. the avg entry/day is like increasing... i can feel it... suddenly got the craving for fruit flo.. haizz... BL and YP going far east today leh... i cant go... damn sian.. stuck in sch shooting and carrying boards and stands on a raining day... den running on the muddy field.. and getting wet.. den coming home feeling real uncomfortable and stinky.. sianz~
12 or 14.. can i know?
Couldn't believe my memory is really that bad.. Couldn't rem whether it's 12 or 14.. really sad case sia~ =( so long le.. maybe coz nv really matter.. tt's y cant rem.. or maybe coz it matters too much tt my brain is overwhelmed and cant process? i dunno..
Tuesday, May 11
believe or not to?
hmm.. dun think u all know this.. it's abit too long.. juz ignore it.. coz i'm juz blogging to grumble.. juz skip directly to the nxt entry..
hmm.. been toking to a fren's fren last night online.. den well.. dunno whether to believe him or my fren.. coz u see ar.. if i dun believe my fren, den who do i believe? but sometimes, we need to look at things from another person's view/perspective..
we might be so blinded by what we believe to be the truth that we actually overlooked the facts... but i couldnt help wondering the motive of the person who told me that.. coz u see.. i dunno that person well, and yet i'm being led into the secret of the "truth".. budden if the matter is serious, most pple would have know and somehow, the problem will surfaced and more pple will tk notice, den the few of them will know and will tell me in turn.. coz no matter how bad it is, we're supposed to go thru it together.. but the problem is, wat if the person really is in the fault but she herself doesnt think that wat she is doing all along is alright? shld she be forgiven, coz bu zhi ze wu zui?
on the other hand, the person told me coz there's a tiny chance that i may be able to change her.. her so-called "wrongdoings".. but aint we supposed to accept each other, flaws and all, if we're frens? and not try to change each other for the sake of "making" her into the person that we think is "good". again, who determines what's gd and what's not?
u see.. if i can accept her flaws and all and am fine with it coz it somehow makes her the person she is now and maybe this is what makes her stands out from the crowd.. who cares what other pple say if u are comfortable being ard her? heck the rest.. if they dun like, they can tok to her and confront her.. it aint my problem coz it never was and never is a problem.. it doesnt prevents us from being frens right.. and since it doesnt deter the strong bond we're building, den why are u so affected? i really dunno.. and when i asked, u said that it's been a few yrs since u know abt it.. and well, since u can live with it for a few yrs, den i think there's not much problem right? and y muz i be the one to "change" her? coz i know her better? y not u try.. coz u all hang ard more den me and her.. and i really dunno wat's wrong in the 1st place.. and by telling me all those stuff, it aint helping.. coz it doesn change thee impression of her and it juz isnt worth giving up the frenship coz of somethings that dont apply to the rest of us..
u told me that she might not believe wat u've told me and might even deny so it's best that i'm the one to tok to her.. den in that case, dun u think it's not worth the effort? coz u see.. if she denies, there's nth u can do and it'll definitely worsen the relationship..and if she admits and agrees to change, u think the frenship will last long too? haa.. well, tell u what, maybe i'm trying to defend her.. but well, think again and see.. it's nt worth it.. u can know it for sooo long and yet be ard her as though there's nth wrong, den i dun see y u cant continue doing it.. it's nt as if u'll be ard her forever.. diff schs le.. so.. no diff mah..
and well, if ur impressions of pple can change, coz i'm 1 gd example, as u've told me, den i dun see any problem in changing ur impressions abt her.. give pple chances.. coz sometimes, many things happen for a reason.. u dun really know me yet u gave me a 2nd chance to change the bad impression i created last time.. and seriously, i think she's a nicer person den me and if i managed to change ur 1st terrible impression of me, den she'll be able to do it too...
hmm.. been toking to a fren's fren last night online.. den well.. dunno whether to believe him or my fren.. coz u see ar.. if i dun believe my fren, den who do i believe? but sometimes, we need to look at things from another person's view/perspective..
we might be so blinded by what we believe to be the truth that we actually overlooked the facts... but i couldnt help wondering the motive of the person who told me that.. coz u see.. i dunno that person well, and yet i'm being led into the secret of the "truth".. budden if the matter is serious, most pple would have know and somehow, the problem will surfaced and more pple will tk notice, den the few of them will know and will tell me in turn.. coz no matter how bad it is, we're supposed to go thru it together.. but the problem is, wat if the person really is in the fault but she herself doesnt think that wat she is doing all along is alright? shld she be forgiven, coz bu zhi ze wu zui?
on the other hand, the person told me coz there's a tiny chance that i may be able to change her.. her so-called "wrongdoings".. but aint we supposed to accept each other, flaws and all, if we're frens? and not try to change each other for the sake of "making" her into the person that we think is "good". again, who determines what's gd and what's not?
u see.. if i can accept her flaws and all and am fine with it coz it somehow makes her the person she is now and maybe this is what makes her stands out from the crowd.. who cares what other pple say if u are comfortable being ard her? heck the rest.. if they dun like, they can tok to her and confront her.. it aint my problem coz it never was and never is a problem.. it doesnt prevents us from being frens right.. and since it doesnt deter the strong bond we're building, den why are u so affected? i really dunno.. and when i asked, u said that it's been a few yrs since u know abt it.. and well, since u can live with it for a few yrs, den i think there's not much problem right? and y muz i be the one to "change" her? coz i know her better? y not u try.. coz u all hang ard more den me and her.. and i really dunno wat's wrong in the 1st place.. and by telling me all those stuff, it aint helping.. coz it doesn change thee impression of her and it juz isnt worth giving up the frenship coz of somethings that dont apply to the rest of us..
u told me that she might not believe wat u've told me and might even deny so it's best that i'm the one to tok to her.. den in that case, dun u think it's not worth the effort? coz u see.. if she denies, there's nth u can do and it'll definitely worsen the relationship..and if she admits and agrees to change, u think the frenship will last long too? haa.. well, tell u what, maybe i'm trying to defend her.. but well, think again and see.. it's nt worth it.. u can know it for sooo long and yet be ard her as though there's nth wrong, den i dun see y u cant continue doing it.. it's nt as if u'll be ard her forever.. diff schs le.. so.. no diff mah..
and well, if ur impressions of pple can change, coz i'm 1 gd example, as u've told me, den i dun see any problem in changing ur impressions abt her.. give pple chances.. coz sometimes, many things happen for a reason.. u dun really know me yet u gave me a 2nd chance to change the bad impression i created last time.. and seriously, i think she's a nicer person den me and if i managed to change ur 1st terrible impression of me, den she'll be able to do it too...
tues lah
hmm.. woke up b4 my alarm rang although i slpt late last night.. went for k lunch wif alyssa, tina and jo.. as usual, the few of us frm last se, who loves singing.. the rest like gao mei and lisa dun even like ktv.. hmm.. anyway, although there's only 4 of us.. we had lotsa fun.. all for only abt 7 bucks.. 3 hrs plus lunch and drink leh.. quite cheap.. towards the end of the session, we started shouting and screaming songs..
ah xing from xing yue tuan's voice is damn power sia~ very gd!! sang alot of songs that i nv select last time.. tina best sia.. her dialect songs all come out.. hee.. den alyssa there giving this face --> -_-""
hee.. den as usual, pple who walked past the room will look in and cover their ears.. jo still waved to them sia.. lolx.. thot her fren or sth.. we're like a bunch of 17 yrs old aunties... lolx..
hmm.. went to play pool with them after ktv.. wah~ will not forget the cursed blue #2.. lolx.. the playlist very very de nice.. lolx.. we play until so siao.. created our own game.. lolx.. had fun..
waited for ching and her frens alone after alyssa and jo they all went off.. loiter ard in taka.. den feel abit tired.. so sat down on the chairs provided at the sides.. until ching called me..
hmm.. realised i wore that white top again.. like wear alot of times le.. lolx.. coz it's at the top of the pile mah.. so juz tk and wear.. nv really think until much later.. now tired le.. easily tired.. lolx.. tml got training sia.. damn tired.. dun feel like going actaully.. haa
wah.. lester.. dun tell me abt chomp chomp lah... alot of pple there lor.. den go there oso cannot find seats sia.. i know the food therre very nice.. i oso wanna go eat.. but sat i went.. den really ALOT of pple.. den serangoon circle there jam.. den got accident somemore.. how to go there and eat sia.. dun hao lian to me liao lah... lolx..
after the results out den very sian le.. like nth to look forward to.. the cls chalet oso abit______... met patrick today.. think he's too bored working in that timberland shop.. or dunno timber sth de... clsmates for 1 whole yr.. 2 sems.. nv really tok much.. coz diff grps mah.. den ok lah.. at least still can tok.. nt like her.. abit sian lor..
hmm.. think ar.. this sem same cls oso no use.. nv really tok much.. stuck on another person.... lolx.. well, actually abit sad lor.. been thru all those yrs ar.. den like suddenly she's non-existant.. no contact, nth..
ah xing from xing yue tuan's voice is damn power sia~ very gd!! sang alot of songs that i nv select last time.. tina best sia.. her dialect songs all come out.. hee.. den alyssa there giving this face --> -_-""
hee.. den as usual, pple who walked past the room will look in and cover their ears.. jo still waved to them sia.. lolx.. thot her fren or sth.. we're like a bunch of 17 yrs old aunties... lolx..
hmm.. went to play pool with them after ktv.. wah~ will not forget the cursed blue #2.. lolx.. the playlist very very de nice.. lolx.. we play until so siao.. created our own game.. lolx.. had fun..
waited for ching and her frens alone after alyssa and jo they all went off.. loiter ard in taka.. den feel abit tired.. so sat down on the chairs provided at the sides.. until ching called me..
hmm.. realised i wore that white top again.. like wear alot of times le.. lolx.. coz it's at the top of the pile mah.. so juz tk and wear.. nv really think until much later.. now tired le.. easily tired.. lolx.. tml got training sia.. damn tired.. dun feel like going actaully.. haa
wah.. lester.. dun tell me abt chomp chomp lah... alot of pple there lor.. den go there oso cannot find seats sia.. i know the food therre very nice.. i oso wanna go eat.. but sat i went.. den really ALOT of pple.. den serangoon circle there jam.. den got accident somemore.. how to go there and eat sia.. dun hao lian to me liao lah... lolx..
after the results out den very sian le.. like nth to look forward to.. the cls chalet oso abit______... met patrick today.. think he's too bored working in that timberland shop.. or dunno timber sth de... clsmates for 1 whole yr.. 2 sems.. nv really tok much.. coz diff grps mah.. den ok lah.. at least still can tok.. nt like her.. abit sian lor..
hmm.. think ar.. this sem same cls oso no use.. nv really tok much.. stuck on another person.... lolx.. well, actually abit sad lor.. been thru all those yrs ar.. den like suddenly she's non-existant.. no contact, nth..
reflect or not to reflect?
hmm.. reflecting is, actually bad sometimes.. coz when u reflect, u'll tend to live in the past and when u do so, u'll risk not living in the present.. and being coped up in the past makes pple more miserable usually, coz when u think back of the gd times, u'll be sad.. when u think back of the wrong choices u made or the wrong things u said, u'll regret and be sad.. again..
but not reflecting is bad oso, coz when u dun, u'll tend to ignore wat's going on in ur life.. and fail to learn from ur mistakes.. that's when troubles start popping up.. coz u'll keep repeating mistakes again and again.. failing to acknowledge the fact that u've actually done it the wrong way in the past.. and failure to know ur mistakes will lead to failure to succeed..
reflecting oso put pple into a solemn mood.. that's when u feel most sensitive to ur surroundings and actually get in touch with ur feelings.. things that u put away and locked up at the bottom of ur heart.. but many pple actually try very hard to avoid this kinda situations for fear that they might be emotional and appear as a weakling to others..
hmm.. think i'm getting into the tok-and-rattle-nonsense mode.. better stop here.. if u disagree wif wat i've said so far, feel free to make comments.. den i'll be able to look at things in a new way maybe? lolx.. =D
but not reflecting is bad oso, coz when u dun, u'll tend to ignore wat's going on in ur life.. and fail to learn from ur mistakes.. that's when troubles start popping up.. coz u'll keep repeating mistakes again and again.. failing to acknowledge the fact that u've actually done it the wrong way in the past.. and failure to know ur mistakes will lead to failure to succeed..
reflecting oso put pple into a solemn mood.. that's when u feel most sensitive to ur surroundings and actually get in touch with ur feelings.. things that u put away and locked up at the bottom of ur heart.. but many pple actually try very hard to avoid this kinda situations for fear that they might be emotional and appear as a weakling to others..
hmm.. think i'm getting into the tok-and-rattle-nonsense mode.. better stop here.. if u disagree wif wat i've said so far, feel free to make comments.. den i'll be able to look at things in a new way maybe? lolx.. =D
last time
having a fun time now.. get to know alot abt myself that i didnt notice in the past..
comments saying that i was fierce last time and was very unapproachable.. "u got this look tt tell pple...better dun mess wif me" and that wat i look fierce outside but am actually very friendly..
1st time saw me yrs ago.. dun like me.. of course lah.. everyhting is compared to last time de.. den now much better.. coz know them better mah.. nt exactly alot better.. but got get together more.. den tok once in a while..
hmm.. didnt realise all these until pple point out.. den think back.. actually last time is not that bad.. juz that i behave differently wif strangers den with close frens.. coz to me there're only 2 kinds of pple.. close frens or pple tt i dunno well.. and of course wif pple i know, naturally i will be more comfortable with them and can crap ard more, play and have fun more.. everyone oso lidat mah.. so not much diff..
1st impressions dun normally last.. esp if pple get together more often.. coz as time past, the initial image will slowly change and fade away.. aint i right? but it's true that 1st impressions are important.. coz when u make certain assumptions abt a person, u'll tend to treat him or her in a different way..
for example, if u dun like this ger at 1st look, u dun even wanna tok to her and get to know her better.. and there goes a chance to be frens.. and who knows, she might juz be shy or having some problems at that contact time and gave the wrong impression..
comments saying that i was fierce last time and was very unapproachable.. "u got this look tt tell pple...better dun mess wif me" and that wat i look fierce outside but am actually very friendly..
1st time saw me yrs ago.. dun like me.. of course lah.. everyhting is compared to last time de.. den now much better.. coz know them better mah.. nt exactly alot better.. but got get together more.. den tok once in a while..
hmm.. didnt realise all these until pple point out.. den think back.. actually last time is not that bad.. juz that i behave differently wif strangers den with close frens.. coz to me there're only 2 kinds of pple.. close frens or pple tt i dunno well.. and of course wif pple i know, naturally i will be more comfortable with them and can crap ard more, play and have fun more.. everyone oso lidat mah.. so not much diff..
1st impressions dun normally last.. esp if pple get together more often.. coz as time past, the initial image will slowly change and fade away.. aint i right? but it's true that 1st impressions are important.. coz when u make certain assumptions abt a person, u'll tend to treat him or her in a different way..
for example, if u dun like this ger at 1st look, u dun even wanna tok to her and get to know her better.. and there goes a chance to be frens.. and who knows, she might juz be shy or having some problems at that contact time and gave the wrong impression..
Monday, May 10
facing reality? hiding? i dunno.
dun give urself a false sense of well-being by making urself oblivious to reality.. if u accept reality for what it is, u can either change it ot adapt to it..but u cannot do either if u're nt aware that it exist.. but sad to say, many of us are like that.. we think that by hiding and living in denial, the "bad stuff" will pass us by and life goes on.. but more often den not, they're wrong.. by doing so, they're living in their comfy shells, afraid to come out, afraid to make changes for fear that their life will be affected.. but bear in mind that watever changes u make in ur life will have an effect.. the cause-and-effect law will be in place even if u choose to ignore the facts..
by believing that the facts that u see aint true or real at all, we're behaving like kids.. totally and absolutely childish.. for eg: have u ever see a young kid covers his face with his hands and thinking that if he cant see u, u cant see him either? the same rule applies.. it's not as if by hiding away from reality, it will never find and see you.. and u can hide at the edge of the world forever.. one day it'll dawn on u that actually all u need is to acknowledge the fact that things aint going the way u want it to.. and then u can make the necessary changes or accommodations so as to go 1 step further to reaching wat u have in mind.. aint that better?
in addition, by learning to live life as we go by making necessary changes and what-so-ever, we're actually accumulating experiences and skills needed to make our existent a better one? think so bah.. not entirely sure either.. all i know is that if u face a problem, dun hurry to put ur head back into ur protective shell like a tortise.. learn to look ard and acquire knowledge so that u'll be better equipped with the skills to handle the same type of situation or problem in the future..
but the funniest thing is that most pple actually thot of this b4, coz it's the best approach.. but dunno why most of us dun seem to learn and tk this approach when needed.. we all put on our armour and lift up our shields.. seemingly very unwilling to come into contact with the problem when we shld.. but an enemy might one day turn into a friend.. y not give it a try? sounds so easy.. but so hard to put into action.. aiya.. crap again! sianz!! this is what happens when i'm way too bored..
by believing that the facts that u see aint true or real at all, we're behaving like kids.. totally and absolutely childish.. for eg: have u ever see a young kid covers his face with his hands and thinking that if he cant see u, u cant see him either? the same rule applies.. it's not as if by hiding away from reality, it will never find and see you.. and u can hide at the edge of the world forever.. one day it'll dawn on u that actually all u need is to acknowledge the fact that things aint going the way u want it to.. and then u can make the necessary changes or accommodations so as to go 1 step further to reaching wat u have in mind.. aint that better?
in addition, by learning to live life as we go by making necessary changes and what-so-ever, we're actually accumulating experiences and skills needed to make our existent a better one? think so bah.. not entirely sure either.. all i know is that if u face a problem, dun hurry to put ur head back into ur protective shell like a tortise.. learn to look ard and acquire knowledge so that u'll be better equipped with the skills to handle the same type of situation or problem in the future..
but the funniest thing is that most pple actually thot of this b4, coz it's the best approach.. but dunno why most of us dun seem to learn and tk this approach when needed.. we all put on our armour and lift up our shields.. seemingly very unwilling to come into contact with the problem when we shld.. but an enemy might one day turn into a friend.. y not give it a try? sounds so easy.. but so hard to put into action.. aiya.. crap again! sianz!! this is what happens when i'm way too bored..
Sunday, May 9
=(
hey.. any1 knows wat happened to my blog picture? coz suddenly not there.. any idea wat i can do to restore it? or shld i juz wait till it appears again?
mothers' day.. damn bored.. was feeling quite pissed juz now.. ate with my relatives and my grandparents.. den my uncle came late.. gave that pissed off face when all of us were having fun.. spoil my night.. at 1st happily serving things to the rest of the table.. help my grandparents to tk food and all that stuff.. den when he came, i was called to "serve" him.. damn sian.. den nv appreciate what i did.. like hello~!! everyone was affected by his black face appearance.. my grandma even had to "look after" him.. ask him wat he wants to eat.. drink.. wat his kids want.. tk food for him.. and he juz sat there and grumble.. like wat his maid already cook liao.. den inform him so late.. den nv wait for him.. blah blah..
grumble and grumble when we were eating.. somemore he sat at MY table.. damn sian.. and he smokes.. wanted to juz walk away but that would seem quite rude.. so i stayed on.. but continued drinking my big mug of carlsberg, which my another uncle refilled for me from time to time.. it somehow diverts my attention.. when i finished, he's still toking and grumbling.. like.. duh~ it's mothers' day.. he came late, no apologies, with a face black as hell, nv wish my grandma, nv do anything and blames us for not arranging this dinner thingy earlier.. oh.. nad he THOUGHT mothers' day is LAST week.. nvm.. after dinner, we went to my aunt's house..
as usual, i stayed on to help my grandpa coz he cant see clearly and his legs are weak.. while walking up the stairs to my aunt's place, my grandpa took out his wallet and tried so hard to see the amount of money he has in his wallet so that he could give some to my uncle.. imagine his at his old age, difficulty walking and seeing, still has to fork out money for his son.. damn.. i saw.. that he only has 2 blue notes and a few red notes in his wallet.. and he gave the 2 blue notes to my uncle.. that means my grandpa got lesser to spend.. and that idiot never even utter a word of thanks.. or anything..
at that point in time, thots ran thru my mind.. feelings and emotions all NEGATIVE.. he's like 37? can live in condo, got a car, maid, he smokes and buys anything that his sons want.. and he's complaining that he got no money.. oh.. and ya.. he doesnt have a stable job.. and needs pple to offer financial help from time to time.. his wife is providing for the family coz she has a degree and a job with higher pay.. what kind of life is he living? and what exactly is on his mind i really dunno.. imagine still tking money frm ur parents at such a age.. he shld be the one giving.. nt the other way round.. he's actually worse off den all of us put together..
drinking carlsberg doesnt seem to have any effect on me.. juz that after that, i feel like drinking more.. maybe juz so that i can sort of shut him off my thoughts.. damn.. dun ask me if i am pissed now.. i WAS...
mothers' day.. damn bored.. was feeling quite pissed juz now.. ate with my relatives and my grandparents.. den my uncle came late.. gave that pissed off face when all of us were having fun.. spoil my night.. at 1st happily serving things to the rest of the table.. help my grandparents to tk food and all that stuff.. den when he came, i was called to "serve" him.. damn sian.. den nv appreciate what i did.. like hello~!! everyone was affected by his black face appearance.. my grandma even had to "look after" him.. ask him wat he wants to eat.. drink.. wat his kids want.. tk food for him.. and he juz sat there and grumble.. like wat his maid already cook liao.. den inform him so late.. den nv wait for him.. blah blah..
grumble and grumble when we were eating.. somemore he sat at MY table.. damn sian.. and he smokes.. wanted to juz walk away but that would seem quite rude.. so i stayed on.. but continued drinking my big mug of carlsberg, which my another uncle refilled for me from time to time.. it somehow diverts my attention.. when i finished, he's still toking and grumbling.. like.. duh~ it's mothers' day.. he came late, no apologies, with a face black as hell, nv wish my grandma, nv do anything and blames us for not arranging this dinner thingy earlier.. oh.. nad he THOUGHT mothers' day is LAST week.. nvm.. after dinner, we went to my aunt's house..
as usual, i stayed on to help my grandpa coz he cant see clearly and his legs are weak.. while walking up the stairs to my aunt's place, my grandpa took out his wallet and tried so hard to see the amount of money he has in his wallet so that he could give some to my uncle.. imagine his at his old age, difficulty walking and seeing, still has to fork out money for his son.. damn.. i saw.. that he only has 2 blue notes and a few red notes in his wallet.. and he gave the 2 blue notes to my uncle.. that means my grandpa got lesser to spend.. and that idiot never even utter a word of thanks.. or anything..
at that point in time, thots ran thru my mind.. feelings and emotions all NEGATIVE.. he's like 37? can live in condo, got a car, maid, he smokes and buys anything that his sons want.. and he's complaining that he got no money.. oh.. and ya.. he doesnt have a stable job.. and needs pple to offer financial help from time to time.. his wife is providing for the family coz she has a degree and a job with higher pay.. what kind of life is he living? and what exactly is on his mind i really dunno.. imagine still tking money frm ur parents at such a age.. he shld be the one giving.. nt the other way round.. he's actually worse off den all of us put together..
drinking carlsberg doesnt seem to have any effect on me.. juz that after that, i feel like drinking more.. maybe juz so that i can sort of shut him off my thoughts.. damn.. dun ask me if i am pissed now.. i WAS...
2 days
wanted to come online early this morning.. when i reached home after ktv.. abt 2+.. but boon's frens staying over and the com is in his room.. tired sia.. so sleepy.. but i managed to read a few chapters of this quite boring book that i borrowed from cheng san library..
ytd yiping's 18th bdae.. finally our da xiao jie bdae is over.. coz she's the oldest amongst us all.. soon we'll go thru that phase too.. soon.. worked as a telemarketer frm 12 till 6.. ONLY make abt 200+ calls.. until my ear pain.. the amt i earn is spent within a day sia.. coz $6/hr.. den only 36 bucks.. but better den nth..
sang at garden ktv i think. or some name.. near chomp chomp there.. sang hall.. nt too bad.. cheaper den room rate.. den abt 20 odd of us, so we like book the entire hall.. hee.. den pple come, wait for their songs until they die den they left earlier.. coz ratio is 6:1.. so they have to wait for abt 20 songs b4 they can sing 1.. hee..
wow~ heard the china version of huang hun by this uncle.. got the china slang and the rao she and bi ying oso very strong.. damn funny sia.. budden there's this 2 guys' voices damn power~ one sounds like andy lau, the other like jacky cheung.. den we like so xia suay there.. singing songs out of tune and making a fool of ourselves coz we're having too much fun.. like a bunch of underaged kids.. lolx.. made a din.. hee..
then this jacky sounds-alike guy was passing notes to the waitress and the waitress reply.. using some pieces of paper.. lolx.. den they guy still whisper to his frens and they laugh.. at 1st they buay song us coz we really went overboard and made alot of noise.. so much so that the noise covers the voices of the person holding the mics.. later they went off.. den olivia saw that actually the guy wanted to know that waitress.. diaos.. lame lor.. pass papers.. like primary sch children lidat sia..
went home abt 2.. had fun.. coz of the phone-callings and travelling, i missed my lunch and dinner, den when i reach serangoon circle, they already finished eating.. coz there's a jam there.. chomp chomp opening ceremony mah.. den paiseh to ask them to wait for me.. coz they already waited for quite some time le.. so juz ate tidbits in the ktv.. when i went home, was real famished.. after bathing, i went straight to the kitchen and stuff myself with watever i can find.. lolx..
den wake up at 8.30!!! slp for only 5 hrs!! den wear the clothes from the top of the pile, nv put on contacts somemore and meet warriors they all.. look so nerdy and messy.. waited and waited till abt 10.. went home with the intention to go back to slp.. but i ended up having breakfast and watching tv.. lolx..
juz now a fren (more like acquaintance) msg me.. he nv contact me for like 2-3 yrs le.. suddenly msg me and ask how am i.. he said he saw me.. so decided to msg me.. so long nv keep in contact le.. moreover last time oso not very gd with him de.. only chat in irc and same OBS grp.. very friendly.. and we crap alot.. told me i nv change.. still the same.. diaos.. was thinking i changed so much.. fatter, shorter and grump-ier.. lolx...
tired sia.. feeling lucky recently.. coz 1stly, since the start of the holidays, i've a mixture of slacking, training and outings quite balanced out.. somemore results alright, den get to have the job ytd to cover up the cost of my spending.. juz nice sia.. somemore my aunt gave me $10 coz she struck lottery last week.. think $1000 only.. but anyway, we all get a share.. hehe... so far so gd..
after ytd's ktx, wanna go sing again!! coz ytd nt enuff.. but think too ex lor.. unless find the cheap hrs or promotion.. tues alyssa organising a k lunch outing with the jiemeis.. funny she's nt with the 11 of us yet we always call her when we have karaoke sessions and movies and sushi... hee.. partly coz she gets along so well with jo and ester also almost always gets invited.. hee.. the more the merrier mah..
nowadays i'm addicted to this song by huang pinyuan and karen mok titled: na mo ai ni wei she mo.. maybe sth wrong wif my han yu pin yin.. nice song although i dun really like the part when karen starts "talking" when the backgrd music is playing.. hee.. the song gets repeated over and over in my head..
feels as if i nv blog for a few days le.. actually no lor.. is coz i'm too used to blogging frequently that i feel this way.. so pardon me for this long entry again... these few days really nv include much "meaningful stuff".. coz partly coz i got more "important" things to "report".. to me lah.. coz "meaningful stuff" i can write anytime.. den muz quickly include those "details" of events if nt i'll forget very fast de.. :P
ytd yiping's 18th bdae.. finally our da xiao jie bdae is over.. coz she's the oldest amongst us all.. soon we'll go thru that phase too.. soon.. worked as a telemarketer frm 12 till 6.. ONLY make abt 200+ calls.. until my ear pain.. the amt i earn is spent within a day sia.. coz $6/hr.. den only 36 bucks.. but better den nth..
sang at garden ktv i think. or some name.. near chomp chomp there.. sang hall.. nt too bad.. cheaper den room rate.. den abt 20 odd of us, so we like book the entire hall.. hee.. den pple come, wait for their songs until they die den they left earlier.. coz ratio is 6:1.. so they have to wait for abt 20 songs b4 they can sing 1.. hee..
wow~ heard the china version of huang hun by this uncle.. got the china slang and the rao she and bi ying oso very strong.. damn funny sia.. budden there's this 2 guys' voices damn power~ one sounds like andy lau, the other like jacky cheung.. den we like so xia suay there.. singing songs out of tune and making a fool of ourselves coz we're having too much fun.. like a bunch of underaged kids.. lolx.. made a din.. hee..
then this jacky sounds-alike guy was passing notes to the waitress and the waitress reply.. using some pieces of paper.. lolx.. den they guy still whisper to his frens and they laugh.. at 1st they buay song us coz we really went overboard and made alot of noise.. so much so that the noise covers the voices of the person holding the mics.. later they went off.. den olivia saw that actually the guy wanted to know that waitress.. diaos.. lame lor.. pass papers.. like primary sch children lidat sia..
went home abt 2.. had fun.. coz of the phone-callings and travelling, i missed my lunch and dinner, den when i reach serangoon circle, they already finished eating.. coz there's a jam there.. chomp chomp opening ceremony mah.. den paiseh to ask them to wait for me.. coz they already waited for quite some time le.. so juz ate tidbits in the ktv.. when i went home, was real famished.. after bathing, i went straight to the kitchen and stuff myself with watever i can find.. lolx..
den wake up at 8.30!!! slp for only 5 hrs!! den wear the clothes from the top of the pile, nv put on contacts somemore and meet warriors they all.. look so nerdy and messy.. waited and waited till abt 10.. went home with the intention to go back to slp.. but i ended up having breakfast and watching tv.. lolx..
juz now a fren (more like acquaintance) msg me.. he nv contact me for like 2-3 yrs le.. suddenly msg me and ask how am i.. he said he saw me.. so decided to msg me.. so long nv keep in contact le.. moreover last time oso not very gd with him de.. only chat in irc and same OBS grp.. very friendly.. and we crap alot.. told me i nv change.. still the same.. diaos.. was thinking i changed so much.. fatter, shorter and grump-ier.. lolx...
tired sia.. feeling lucky recently.. coz 1stly, since the start of the holidays, i've a mixture of slacking, training and outings quite balanced out.. somemore results alright, den get to have the job ytd to cover up the cost of my spending.. juz nice sia.. somemore my aunt gave me $10 coz she struck lottery last week.. think $1000 only.. but anyway, we all get a share.. hehe... so far so gd..
after ytd's ktx, wanna go sing again!! coz ytd nt enuff.. but think too ex lor.. unless find the cheap hrs or promotion.. tues alyssa organising a k lunch outing with the jiemeis.. funny she's nt with the 11 of us yet we always call her when we have karaoke sessions and movies and sushi... hee.. partly coz she gets along so well with jo and ester also almost always gets invited.. hee.. the more the merrier mah..
nowadays i'm addicted to this song by huang pinyuan and karen mok titled: na mo ai ni wei she mo.. maybe sth wrong wif my han yu pin yin.. nice song although i dun really like the part when karen starts "talking" when the backgrd music is playing.. hee.. the song gets repeated over and over in my head..
feels as if i nv blog for a few days le.. actually no lor.. is coz i'm too used to blogging frequently that i feel this way.. so pardon me for this long entry again... these few days really nv include much "meaningful stuff".. coz partly coz i got more "important" things to "report".. to me lah.. coz "meaningful stuff" i can write anytime.. den muz quickly include those "details" of events if nt i'll forget very fast de.. :P
Friday, May 7
fri.. 7th may
exams results out le.. received the sms when i'm in CP.. well, quite glad i can say.. but the happiness doesnt last long.. went to YP's office and her senior tok to me and explain stuff for like more den 2 hrs.. gave her face so nv ask alot of questions.. was quiet bored halfway.. den give the sian face.. but the guy kept toking and toking and drawing on the notebook..
dun wanna say more abt wat happened coz i'm tired and dun wanna explain.. yeah.. the education system taught us technical skills and s'pore is a place where most pple have to be practical in order to survive.. i aint the special minority... i flow wif the crowd.. so i dun have super duper high hopes.. aint planning to have either.. boring kinda life i can say... damn sian..
went to marks and spencer to buy some biscuits.. haven try yet.. but it looks nice.. and for all chocolate fans out there, there's a new ROYCE chocolate shop in suntec.. the carrefour tower.. much much bigger den the counter in takashimaya.. got money can go try.. and if the salesgirl ask if it's a gift, say yes.. den they'll wrap with dry ice.. wanna be treated like a king? den royce is the choice for you.. other den goldiva... lolx.. j/k
oh ya.. after 12 le.. HAPPI BDAE YIPING!! 18 le.. old ger liao.. suffer ageing k.. juz joking.. tkcare.. =]
dun wanna say more abt wat happened coz i'm tired and dun wanna explain.. yeah.. the education system taught us technical skills and s'pore is a place where most pple have to be practical in order to survive.. i aint the special minority... i flow wif the crowd.. so i dun have super duper high hopes.. aint planning to have either.. boring kinda life i can say... damn sian..
went to marks and spencer to buy some biscuits.. haven try yet.. but it looks nice.. and for all chocolate fans out there, there's a new ROYCE chocolate shop in suntec.. the carrefour tower.. much much bigger den the counter in takashimaya.. got money can go try.. and if the salesgirl ask if it's a gift, say yes.. den they'll wrap with dry ice.. wanna be treated like a king? den royce is the choice for you.. other den goldiva... lolx.. j/k
oh ya.. after 12 le.. HAPPI BDAE YIPING!! 18 le.. old ger liao.. suffer ageing k.. juz joking.. tkcare.. =]
sianz
super duper freaking boring tt i've decided to blog, AGAIN... i think i blog like 3-4 entries on the average per day.. that explains why i'm sooo bored.. seems like i'm the only one that's ever so eng sia~ decided not to go for training this sat.. too sian sia.. think of setting up the range, packing.. carrying signboards, stands and watever.. tired b4 training even starts.. sian..anyway my attendance has always been gd.. so can relac abit..
seriously, i need to do sth to save my pocket.. hope lisa call me back and confirm.. one day oso better den nth.. sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... my parents and relatives asked me why dun i try sakae again.. i was like.. duh~ go back.. dun want.. that time they ask me to stay i dun want den now i go back.. got hear b4 the phrase "hao ma bu chi hui tou chao" anot? the place seriously CMI.. the kitchen is totally absolutely unbearable.. the only thing i can stand is the belt.. well, cant blame me mah... had been stuck with it for like 5 months lor..
sianz.. sat they still say wanna go chomp chomp and eat, den sing ktv.. warriors they all working now lor.. most of them anyway, den they got money rolling in.. i dun.. they can spend however they like.. and i cant.. sianzzzzzzzzzz... holidays always lidat de.. money problem.. sch days still nt so bad.. can spend in advance.. den top up the nxt month..
revised social studies and E maths juz now.. coz teaching my bro.. den i ended up telling him how to answer SS structured essay.. den in the end learnt the whole chapter on japan industrial development.. quite fun actually.. but i still prefer sri lanka and Northern Ireland.. ok.. B-O-R-I-N-G!!
entries getting longer and longer still.. aint gonna care.. read it if u want.. tired den follow this instruction:
see the tiny "X" thingy at the top right-hand corner? right click and let go.. thank you..
seriously, i need to do sth to save my pocket.. hope lisa call me back and confirm.. one day oso better den nth.. sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... my parents and relatives asked me why dun i try sakae again.. i was like.. duh~ go back.. dun want.. that time they ask me to stay i dun want den now i go back.. got hear b4 the phrase "hao ma bu chi hui tou chao" anot? the place seriously CMI.. the kitchen is totally absolutely unbearable.. the only thing i can stand is the belt.. well, cant blame me mah... had been stuck with it for like 5 months lor..
sianz.. sat they still say wanna go chomp chomp and eat, den sing ktv.. warriors they all working now lor.. most of them anyway, den they got money rolling in.. i dun.. they can spend however they like.. and i cant.. sianzzzzzzzzzz... holidays always lidat de.. money problem.. sch days still nt so bad.. can spend in advance.. den top up the nxt month..
revised social studies and E maths juz now.. coz teaching my bro.. den i ended up telling him how to answer SS structured essay.. den in the end learnt the whole chapter on japan industrial development.. quite fun actually.. but i still prefer sri lanka and Northern Ireland.. ok.. B-O-R-I-N-G!!
entries getting longer and longer still.. aint gonna care.. read it if u want.. tired den follow this instruction:
see the tiny "X" thingy at the top right-hand corner? right click and let go.. thank you..
Thursday, May 6
...
juz finished mopping the floor in my grandpa's house.. it's been yrs since i last hold a mop.. think pri 2 or 3 bah.. then, i was small and weak. .and i used to sweep the floor 3 times b4 i start mopping coz i cant stand the dust around.. and i have to put all of my weight on the mop to squeeze away the excess water.. and normally after all these "simple" chores, i'll be tired out and will sit there and rest while my grandparents praise me for being helpful and all.. so long de.. didnt even realised mopping the floor is so simple..
feel abit useless juz slacking at home.. so besides mopping the floor, i also helped to cut the meat.. as usual, i spent half the time getting rid of the excess fats.. feel so contented after doing all those simple stuff.. and nt to forget, can hav food tasting while working ard the kitchen.. hehe..
so far i've been blogging and blogging until i dunno whether i'm writing an account, reporting wat i've done or recording life events.. lolx.. sian lor.. when there's nth much to do and u've juz make some changes ard the house, u dun feel like doing anything else related anymore..
shifted the layout in my room again.. and after 2 days, i still cant get use to it.. will go back to the usual spot to put back my comb or sth to find that the dressing table and mirror is at the other end of the room.. not nxt to the door anymore.. nor can i sit up on my bed and look at myself in the mirror like i used to..
guess when there're changes, we need adaptation time.. and when that happens, u'll find urself wanting to revert back to wat u used to do and wat u used to have and many a time, it's juz for convenience coz it's either u're too tired to try to change part of ur lifestyle, or that u cant seem to find another "action" that feels as comfortable as the past.. so u cant seem to fit into the new "life".. it's only a matter of time.. slowly, subconsciously, u'll feel that u're slowly settling down and feeling alright with the change.. and den u'll accept the change as it is..
feel abit useless juz slacking at home.. so besides mopping the floor, i also helped to cut the meat.. as usual, i spent half the time getting rid of the excess fats.. feel so contented after doing all those simple stuff.. and nt to forget, can hav food tasting while working ard the kitchen.. hehe..
so far i've been blogging and blogging until i dunno whether i'm writing an account, reporting wat i've done or recording life events.. lolx.. sian lor.. when there's nth much to do and u've juz make some changes ard the house, u dun feel like doing anything else related anymore..
shifted the layout in my room again.. and after 2 days, i still cant get use to it.. will go back to the usual spot to put back my comb or sth to find that the dressing table and mirror is at the other end of the room.. not nxt to the door anymore.. nor can i sit up on my bed and look at myself in the mirror like i used to..
guess when there're changes, we need adaptation time.. and when that happens, u'll find urself wanting to revert back to wat u used to do and wat u used to have and many a time, it's juz for convenience coz it's either u're too tired to try to change part of ur lifestyle, or that u cant seem to find another "action" that feels as comfortable as the past.. so u cant seem to fit into the new "life".. it's only a matter of time.. slowly, subconsciously, u'll feel that u're slowly settling down and feeling alright with the change.. and den u'll accept the change as it is..
thurs
raining now.. cooling~ wanted to go back to tp for some SIP sharing in the LT by some seniors.. den couldnt drag myself outta the bed.. woke up at 850 den realised it's way too late liao.. so went back to slp.. msged jo and lisa.. and jo woke up ard thesaem time as me.. lisa best sia~ she said she expected us to overslp.. so she didnt go.. lolx..
was chatting with looney last night and he said tt my actions and speech always very funny de, den they(meaning the archery pple) always laugh at me.. so i was thinking: funny in a HA-HA way or funny in a weird way? here's the example tt he said was funny..
in the swimming pool, normally there are warning and help signs about, showing notes on what not to do and what to doo when emergency happens, like lifesaving techniques.. i saw this notice abt tips to follow to be water-smart.. the 1st rule says :DO NOT SWIM ALONE..
does it mean that when we swim alone, we will drown and when we swim in crowds, it prevents us from drowning? no mah. it's the same as the baby on board joke.. does placing the baby-on-board-sign allows u to know which cars to avoid if there is an accident? no right? same logic mah..
den ytd found some juicy news.. alexis frm NTU likes kevin.. well, she's 21 this yr.. too bad she going off to australia.. dunno for wat.. think attachment.. so fun~ always some ba gua thingy den spice up ur life de.. den can make fun of pple and entertain ourselves.. gosh~ i sounds mean huh.. but who cares.. it's lidat de.. we use each other as an entertainment tool.. to make our own lives enjoyable and fun.. isnt it?
lisa called and asked if i wanna be a telemarketer for 1 day.. sian lor. at tanjiong pagar.. dunno where.. haha.. 12 till 6 on a sat sia.. cant lor.. got training.. if a few more weeks into the holiday den i dun mind.. coz will get sick and tired of training and training one mah.. now juz started so still quite looking forward to shooting sia.. sian sian sianzz...
raining stay at home slack.. dun wanna go anywhere oso.. coz ltr get wet wearing kai kai clothes abit irritating de.. nvm.. slack and stone at home.. taken up cross-stitch again.. holidays always lidat de.. either that or vcds.. lolx.. like pri sch kid lidat sia.. but can waste alot of time.. so nt so bad..
was chatting with looney last night and he said tt my actions and speech always very funny de, den they(meaning the archery pple) always laugh at me.. so i was thinking: funny in a HA-HA way or funny in a weird way? here's the example tt he said was funny..
in the swimming pool, normally there are warning and help signs about, showing notes on what not to do and what to doo when emergency happens, like lifesaving techniques.. i saw this notice abt tips to follow to be water-smart.. the 1st rule says :DO NOT SWIM ALONE..
does it mean that when we swim alone, we will drown and when we swim in crowds, it prevents us from drowning? no mah. it's the same as the baby on board joke.. does placing the baby-on-board-sign allows u to know which cars to avoid if there is an accident? no right? same logic mah..
den ytd found some juicy news.. alexis frm NTU likes kevin.. well, she's 21 this yr.. too bad she going off to australia.. dunno for wat.. think attachment.. so fun~ always some ba gua thingy den spice up ur life de.. den can make fun of pple and entertain ourselves.. gosh~ i sounds mean huh.. but who cares.. it's lidat de.. we use each other as an entertainment tool.. to make our own lives enjoyable and fun.. isnt it?
lisa called and asked if i wanna be a telemarketer for 1 day.. sian lor. at tanjiong pagar.. dunno where.. haha.. 12 till 6 on a sat sia.. cant lor.. got training.. if a few more weeks into the holiday den i dun mind.. coz will get sick and tired of training and training one mah.. now juz started so still quite looking forward to shooting sia.. sian sian sianzz...
raining stay at home slack.. dun wanna go anywhere oso.. coz ltr get wet wearing kai kai clothes abit irritating de.. nvm.. slack and stone at home.. taken up cross-stitch again.. holidays always lidat de.. either that or vcds.. lolx.. like pri sch kid lidat sia.. but can waste alot of time.. so nt so bad..
Wednesday, May 5
nth to hide.. duh~
super sian.. raining day.. i want to stay at home and slack and rot.. den to think tt they changed the training time to 4.. muz reach at 330 to set up..
feeling abit weird.. think maybe after breakfast i ate chocolates den lie down to read.. so my digestive system aint working real well now.. tired.. dun wanna step out of the house actually..
sianz.. while hoping for a chance to earn money and gd results, i checked my frenster and well, guess what? this guy.. sianz.. sent another msg to me.. here it is:
[Yeah.. i'm starting work soon.. i really hope that i could get 2 u through another media.. so can i have yr hp no please..... i have nothing 2 hide.. i'm really interested in u.. hope that my wish will be granted...]
tell u what.. i aint no genie in a bottle.. cant grant him his wish.. and well, i got nth to hide either.. frm him anyway.. i dunno really knoe him.. juz some holy high guy tt i dun really noticed in sec sch.. graduated same yr.. been sending msges thru frenster.. many a time, i nv reply.. cant be bothered anyway..baoqi's coursemate.. take same bus to sch.. sianz.. ask for hp no. for what? no use lor.. think it's juz a waste of his time.. so far he can only contact me thru frenster or thru baoqi.. lucky baoqi nv gives him my no. his qn really ultimate lor.. ask me whether i'm working den dunno wat crap.. wish me gd luck for my exams den tell me he got no exams.. sian lor.. abit irritating i can say.. NOT interested!
sian until i listen to songs over and over again.. in the shadow by rasmus.. thankie PJ for sending me tt song.. now addicted to it liao.. den some chinese songs tt i dont seem to get tired of listening to all the time, guy sebastian's angels brought me here and so on.. nice weather, nice songs.. wat more can i ask for?
feeling abit weird.. think maybe after breakfast i ate chocolates den lie down to read.. so my digestive system aint working real well now.. tired.. dun wanna step out of the house actually..
sianz.. while hoping for a chance to earn money and gd results, i checked my frenster and well, guess what? this guy.. sianz.. sent another msg to me.. here it is:
[Yeah.. i'm starting work soon.. i really hope that i could get 2 u through another media.. so can i have yr hp no please..... i have nothing 2 hide.. i'm really interested in u.. hope that my wish will be granted...]
tell u what.. i aint no genie in a bottle.. cant grant him his wish.. and well, i got nth to hide either.. frm him anyway.. i dunno really knoe him.. juz some holy high guy tt i dun really noticed in sec sch.. graduated same yr.. been sending msges thru frenster.. many a time, i nv reply.. cant be bothered anyway..baoqi's coursemate.. take same bus to sch.. sianz.. ask for hp no. for what? no use lor.. think it's juz a waste of his time.. so far he can only contact me thru frenster or thru baoqi.. lucky baoqi nv gives him my no. his qn really ultimate lor.. ask me whether i'm working den dunno wat crap.. wish me gd luck for my exams den tell me he got no exams.. sian lor.. abit irritating i can say.. NOT interested!
sian until i listen to songs over and over again.. in the shadow by rasmus.. thankie PJ for sending me tt song.. now addicted to it liao.. den some chinese songs tt i dont seem to get tired of listening to all the time, guy sebastian's angels brought me here and so on.. nice weather, nice songs.. wat more can i ask for?
~sentosa~ 4th may
gotta retype this thing again coz i click on the wrong thing.. well, cant rem wat i said juz now... so sian i dun feel like typing le..
went to sentosa with eve and tina today.. at 1st quite sian coz many of the jiemeis cancelled on us, den tina wasted so many sms juz to confrim with pple.. we were supposed to meet in harbourfront but coincidentally, we met in the same train.. so we went there together..
quite fun lor.. when we reached siloso beach, it was drizzling.. like 2 drops only.. but the weather is super perfect, to me.. coz the sun nt too strong, got clouds and abit of breeze.. den no crowds.. coz it's a weekday..
met jo and her frens.. all very friendly.. after intro, den we can play together like normal frens liao.. wanted to go canoeing.. but have to wait for half an hr.. nxt plan was to go cycling.. but we ended up playing "monkey", the pri sch game when the pple inside catch the ball.. we ran abt like ah siao, make alot of noise and have all the space we want.. coz like i say, little pple=gd..
after tt we buried one of jo's frens in the sand.. and the sand covering the bottom half of her body looked like a big coca cola bottle.. took pics and after tt they went to the water and plaed somemore while eve, tina and i stayed, took more photos and chat..
went to meet jo's fren's oliva's frens after tt and den went back to the chalet.. think it's island resort or izzit island chalet.. dunno.. it's cosy.. but the kitchen is nt in the chalet itself.. it's outside.. in another small room at the back of the chalet.. the room upstairs is even more comfy~ the balcony is spacious.. gd impression of the whole place.. nt too bad.. slack upstairs for awhile coz it's air-conditioned.. den we went down to help out..
by the time we went downstairs, they're already setting up the fire and bringing out the food.. we help when needed.. like washing things, bringing in and out stuff and so on... den we started bbq-ing.. tell u all.. the food is great!! simply YUMMY~ the chicken wings ar.. very very tasty.. until nth to say.. after tt den found out that it's marinated with martell.. wow~ but it's real nice.. and together wif the honey and butter, really wow~ finger-lickin' gd..
her frens' frens oso very nicee.. some are quite shy, but they're polite and will say hi, gdbye and even mix absolute vodka with sprite and bring the cups upstairs to us.. so nice~ hehe.. den all not dao.. will smile and ask if we need help when bbq-ing..
after eating, we went upstairs and tok, again.. den jo came in followed by nancy.. didnt really know nancy, but we can still chat with her.. crap ard.. the ultimate is when oliva came in and asked if we wanted to play jenga.. nv regret playing tt game.. once u start, u cant stop..
at 1st is 20 levels.. 6 of us playing upstairs in the room.. others playing some other games downstairs.. we tk turns.. going clockwise 1st.. den the nxt game starts with the loser of the previous end.. really fun.. we really quite pro sia.. up till 30 levels still haven fall yet.. real zhai..
play until we forget the time sia.. actually planned to go off at 9.. in the end 10 plus den leave.. was playing for abt an hr.. really exciting watching others pulling off the wood and then when it's ur turn, like nth much to choose frm.. lolx.. after playing 2 rounds, we decided to go further and play more challenging.. we placed the wood so that they're not straight.. like "twist" it den we play.. den we purposely put until quite out and we played the "fast-version" unknowingly.. coz at 1st we said it's juz for trying out.. in the end up till 30 levels oso haven fall.. but very shaky.. in the end, we failed to go to 31.. haha.. very fun lor.. coz we crap while playing..
went home after tt.. the 3 of us suddenly noticed the bomb shelter outside the chalet.. tina and i almost wanted to go in and have a look but jo stopped us in time.. she said it is a bomb shelter, den all of a sudden, eve and tina kept very quiet.. they say dun say now.. so i nv ask until ltr.. they told me it's actually cells or some medical centre thingy for the british.. den not very "clean" lor.. dun wanna elaborate..
jo, nancy and oliva walked us to the visitor centre there.. we passed this very long road tt cannot see the end tt type.. well, felt abit errie coz partly frm the bomb shelter thingy, partly coz it creeps me out.. den the road down so dark.. den alot of dried leaves.. so, added to the hocus pocus feeling.. i was walking at the back actually.. den felt abit uncomfortable.. so tried to stick close to eve and tina, who were walking in front of me..
we took pics in the train.. haha.. like so zi lian ah siaos... but fun lah.. it was in the train tt i told them why i walked so close to them juz now.. coz i feel weird.. like something behind me at a distance watching or sth.. den eve and tina oso say they feel weird abt the road that we didnt take.. and no wonder i tried to stick so close to them.. cant help it lah.. weird mah.. den today frm siloso till the chalet, we kept seeing things that can be used to film horror movies.. like the "hairy" thing under the bridge, the chalet itself is a gd scene liao.. haha.. didnt say much coz the 3 of us oso well, u know.. quite timid de..
basically had a very fun time today.. even applied dark tanning oil.. in the end i turn dark fastest.. lolx.. too long nv get into the sun liao.. it's nice.. inviting.. but after today, muz go back and see the sun during trainings.. den i think i'll be sian le..
emailed jiemeis juz now to inform them abt the outing in june.. added the "P.S" at the bottom to say abt the chalet thingy.. tina say it's gd and bad.. gd is to giv jo credit, bad is to make them jealous abt the gd food.. lolx.. to me it's gd mah.. haha.. not bad at all.. emailed them coz i dun wann waste my sms.. tina sms us all and wasted quite alot of money juz to confirm, double confirm, cancel and confirm cancel.. sian lor.. dun want the same thing to happen again..
think after typing stuff out twice, i hope i dun missed out anything.. if nt really can smack my own head liao.. tired le.. gotta slp liao.. tml still got training..sianzzzzzzzz....... *yawnz
went to sentosa with eve and tina today.. at 1st quite sian coz many of the jiemeis cancelled on us, den tina wasted so many sms juz to confrim with pple.. we were supposed to meet in harbourfront but coincidentally, we met in the same train.. so we went there together..
quite fun lor.. when we reached siloso beach, it was drizzling.. like 2 drops only.. but the weather is super perfect, to me.. coz the sun nt too strong, got clouds and abit of breeze.. den no crowds.. coz it's a weekday..
met jo and her frens.. all very friendly.. after intro, den we can play together like normal frens liao.. wanted to go canoeing.. but have to wait for half an hr.. nxt plan was to go cycling.. but we ended up playing "monkey", the pri sch game when the pple inside catch the ball.. we ran abt like ah siao, make alot of noise and have all the space we want.. coz like i say, little pple=gd..
after tt we buried one of jo's frens in the sand.. and the sand covering the bottom half of her body looked like a big coca cola bottle.. took pics and after tt they went to the water and plaed somemore while eve, tina and i stayed, took more photos and chat..
went to meet jo's fren's oliva's frens after tt and den went back to the chalet.. think it's island resort or izzit island chalet.. dunno.. it's cosy.. but the kitchen is nt in the chalet itself.. it's outside.. in another small room at the back of the chalet.. the room upstairs is even more comfy~ the balcony is spacious.. gd impression of the whole place.. nt too bad.. slack upstairs for awhile coz it's air-conditioned.. den we went down to help out..
by the time we went downstairs, they're already setting up the fire and bringing out the food.. we help when needed.. like washing things, bringing in and out stuff and so on... den we started bbq-ing.. tell u all.. the food is great!! simply YUMMY~ the chicken wings ar.. very very tasty.. until nth to say.. after tt den found out that it's marinated with martell.. wow~ but it's real nice.. and together wif the honey and butter, really wow~ finger-lickin' gd..
her frens' frens oso very nicee.. some are quite shy, but they're polite and will say hi, gdbye and even mix absolute vodka with sprite and bring the cups upstairs to us.. so nice~ hehe.. den all not dao.. will smile and ask if we need help when bbq-ing..
after eating, we went upstairs and tok, again.. den jo came in followed by nancy.. didnt really know nancy, but we can still chat with her.. crap ard.. the ultimate is when oliva came in and asked if we wanted to play jenga.. nv regret playing tt game.. once u start, u cant stop..
at 1st is 20 levels.. 6 of us playing upstairs in the room.. others playing some other games downstairs.. we tk turns.. going clockwise 1st.. den the nxt game starts with the loser of the previous end.. really fun.. we really quite pro sia.. up till 30 levels still haven fall yet.. real zhai..
play until we forget the time sia.. actually planned to go off at 9.. in the end 10 plus den leave.. was playing for abt an hr.. really exciting watching others pulling off the wood and then when it's ur turn, like nth much to choose frm.. lolx.. after playing 2 rounds, we decided to go further and play more challenging.. we placed the wood so that they're not straight.. like "twist" it den we play.. den we purposely put until quite out and we played the "fast-version" unknowingly.. coz at 1st we said it's juz for trying out.. in the end up till 30 levels oso haven fall.. but very shaky.. in the end, we failed to go to 31.. haha.. very fun lor.. coz we crap while playing..
went home after tt.. the 3 of us suddenly noticed the bomb shelter outside the chalet.. tina and i almost wanted to go in and have a look but jo stopped us in time.. she said it is a bomb shelter, den all of a sudden, eve and tina kept very quiet.. they say dun say now.. so i nv ask until ltr.. they told me it's actually cells or some medical centre thingy for the british.. den not very "clean" lor.. dun wanna elaborate..
jo, nancy and oliva walked us to the visitor centre there.. we passed this very long road tt cannot see the end tt type.. well, felt abit errie coz partly frm the bomb shelter thingy, partly coz it creeps me out.. den the road down so dark.. den alot of dried leaves.. so, added to the hocus pocus feeling.. i was walking at the back actually.. den felt abit uncomfortable.. so tried to stick close to eve and tina, who were walking in front of me..
we took pics in the train.. haha.. like so zi lian ah siaos... but fun lah.. it was in the train tt i told them why i walked so close to them juz now.. coz i feel weird.. like something behind me at a distance watching or sth.. den eve and tina oso say they feel weird abt the road that we didnt take.. and no wonder i tried to stick so close to them.. cant help it lah.. weird mah.. den today frm siloso till the chalet, we kept seeing things that can be used to film horror movies.. like the "hairy" thing under the bridge, the chalet itself is a gd scene liao.. haha.. didnt say much coz the 3 of us oso well, u know.. quite timid de..
basically had a very fun time today.. even applied dark tanning oil.. in the end i turn dark fastest.. lolx.. too long nv get into the sun liao.. it's nice.. inviting.. but after today, muz go back and see the sun during trainings.. den i think i'll be sian le..
emailed jiemeis juz now to inform them abt the outing in june.. added the "P.S" at the bottom to say abt the chalet thingy.. tina say it's gd and bad.. gd is to giv jo credit, bad is to make them jealous abt the gd food.. lolx.. to me it's gd mah.. haha.. not bad at all.. emailed them coz i dun wann waste my sms.. tina sms us all and wasted quite alot of money juz to confirm, double confirm, cancel and confirm cancel.. sian lor.. dun want the same thing to happen again..
think after typing stuff out twice, i hope i dun missed out anything.. if nt really can smack my own head liao.. tired le.. gotta slp liao.. tml still got training..sianzzzzzzzz....... *yawnz
Monday, May 3
~ used? ~
some pple say that they dun mind being used by others, if the other person benefits and "kai xin jiu hao".. others say that they dun mind as long as they dunno that they're being used.. and yet another grp says that they dun like being used at all coz it's juz not right.. sort of unfair.. actually, it IS unfair..
of course if u dunno that u're being used, u wont be angry.. or upset.. coz nth seems out of place.. but sometimes, pple make assumptions that are not true at all.. and the poor party gets the full blame or impact.. that is why we shld always give pple a chance to explain and present their point of views.. coz for all u know, u might be the one in the wrong and well, if u make a huge fuss out of it while the pple ard u knows the whole situation, wat can i say? too bad for ya? allowing pple and urself a second chance to see both sides of the picture and come to a "closure". it'll solve problems much faster and effectively..
u know ar.. when someone says that they dun mind being used, have u ever wonder and doubt the motive of the person? does he or she sems too good to be true? often, this might and is the case.. coz when someone that's soo all too-wonderful-to-be-true "pop" up in our lives, he or she will definitely stands out in the crowd.. and when that happens, u'll start to question urself.. "oh well, actually he seems fake.. does he has some other intention or what? is he trying to ACT as the kind and gd person or is he trying to make me look like the bad guy? what does he actually wants? he's getting on my nerves being so wonderful.. damn~" den u start to maybe interpret every little action the negative way.. waell, to put it simply, u are jealous.. dun deny.. u are.. at this point in time, most pple, in fact, cant stand the way a person goes all out to be nice to someone or what, juz because he or she really has a kind heart.. we'll(meaning the majority) most probably assume the other way, juz because we cant keep up to it.. as in we cant be as good as or better then the other party..
yeah.. starting to wonder whether u're lidat oso? well, although some of them really are this gd, others might not be.. many a time, we do things for a purpose.. to gain recognition, to gain respect, to gain popularity, or juz likes to be unique and special.. hmm.. no matter wat the intention may be, if it's a gd deed done, i feel that the person shld be given respect, simply bcoz they go an extra step to do sth that most pple will not do.. but wat happens after that is another story.. if that person does sth gd so as to set u up for sth bad, den well, although he or she deserves credit for the gd things, they'll be punished, somehow someway.. so no worries.. juz sit back, relax and wait for the show.. it's true.. coz i believe..
of course if u dunno that u're being used, u wont be angry.. or upset.. coz nth seems out of place.. but sometimes, pple make assumptions that are not true at all.. and the poor party gets the full blame or impact.. that is why we shld always give pple a chance to explain and present their point of views.. coz for all u know, u might be the one in the wrong and well, if u make a huge fuss out of it while the pple ard u knows the whole situation, wat can i say? too bad for ya? allowing pple and urself a second chance to see both sides of the picture and come to a "closure". it'll solve problems much faster and effectively..
u know ar.. when someone says that they dun mind being used, have u ever wonder and doubt the motive of the person? does he or she sems too good to be true? often, this might and is the case.. coz when someone that's soo all too-wonderful-to-be-true "pop" up in our lives, he or she will definitely stands out in the crowd.. and when that happens, u'll start to question urself.. "oh well, actually he seems fake.. does he has some other intention or what? is he trying to ACT as the kind and gd person or is he trying to make me look like the bad guy? what does he actually wants? he's getting on my nerves being so wonderful.. damn~" den u start to maybe interpret every little action the negative way.. waell, to put it simply, u are jealous.. dun deny.. u are.. at this point in time, most pple, in fact, cant stand the way a person goes all out to be nice to someone or what, juz because he or she really has a kind heart.. we'll(meaning the majority) most probably assume the other way, juz because we cant keep up to it.. as in we cant be as good as or better then the other party..
yeah.. starting to wonder whether u're lidat oso? well, although some of them really are this gd, others might not be.. many a time, we do things for a purpose.. to gain recognition, to gain respect, to gain popularity, or juz likes to be unique and special.. hmm.. no matter wat the intention may be, if it's a gd deed done, i feel that the person shld be given respect, simply bcoz they go an extra step to do sth that most pple will not do.. but wat happens after that is another story.. if that person does sth gd so as to set u up for sth bad, den well, although he or she deserves credit for the gd things, they'll be punished, somehow someway.. so no worries.. juz sit back, relax and wait for the show.. it's true.. coz i believe..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)