thurs

ate at plaza parkroyal ytd.. QY got a grand bdae.. one section of the place booked by her.. for her bdae celebration.. although she claims that it's "shabbier" than her very rich cousin who is the same age as us, i feel that it's grand enuff.. big big cake, food for abt 50 pple? her relatives, friends? pple wishing her happy belated bdae and prezzies.. even the restaurant captain gave her sth..

this, compared to the 3 of us, makes a whole lot of difference.. her cousin can afford to hold a 18th bdae celebration at some 5 star hotel ballroom, inviting lots and lots of pple and that cake alone cost $400!! i cannot imagine what her 21st bdae celebration is going to be like..

i wore biz suit there coz i rushed down after sch to meet YP.. i looked like a 25 yr-old-executive bringing my younger sister out.. and i so totally blend in the working crowd.. they asked me if i got to wear that everyday in school.. god bless.. NO..

i dunno wat happened. some moments i blend in, fit into the environment, enjoying food under the good lighting and cosy ambience. another moment i feel out of place beside that table ful of laughs and chatter.. i think it's me. not them. so long nv meet up le.. happy.. but in the meantime, i cannot seem to take in all the changes i've seen or feel. different in more ways. maybe more obvious. maybe i'm juz ignoring those things in the past.

reached home ral late. tired to the max. almost couldnt wake up in the morning. my body and mind procrastinating.. i dragged myself outta the cosy bed. "outfit" for today really CMI. even i think so. couldnt be bothered anyway. know that i look horrible but somehow, that doesnt affect me. i dunno why. i know i shld, but i'm not. sth wrong?

applied class test today. pray for a pass.. i dunno how to do all 3 qns.. God bless..

the dessert today CMI again.. the oven is diff frm the sch's.. and the cheesecake turned out to be some horribl luncheon meat colour coz we added some "high cls cocoa powder from switzerland".. haizz.. dunno..

ate sakae for dinner. no chawanmushi. service was bad. very slow.only 2 staff running the whole restaurant. and the manager got to go into the kitchen to help out..

char asked me who muz stay the same coz of my nick. i find it amusing that she even bother to ask. usually she doesnt, unless it's sth "fishy".. maybe it's juz me.. maybe i'm becoming more sensitive to my surroundings or maybe i've been blocking wat i dun want to see in the past and now i sort of "unblock" that.. i dunno..

BL thinking of wat to do for her bdae this yr.. thinking of where to celebrate.. YP was telling her tt my bdae comes b4 hers.. i told BL nvm.. juz think of wat she wants to do for her bdae and we plan. i dun really care abt my bdae.. i'm not excited.. nt excited at all.. is sth wrong with me? i thot most pple will be nervous or what and really look forward to that age. i'm not. really. last yr also lidat.. 17 and 18.. isnt that juz a figure? who cares anyway.. it's juz another day. not special to me. guess i'm juz one of those pple who will forget their own birthdays.. not exactly forget, but wont plan abt that "big" day.. maybe this yr i'll buy myself sth i like.. since i'll be doing that in the future anyway..